Help (un)Wanted

[Synful_Blood]

Slowly she continued to approach him. She did not fail to notice his dagger, and she sneered. As if he thought he'd be able to best her. Certainly, she had less physical strength...but pain had no meaning to her. As he'd displayed earlier...it meant something to HIM.

Slowly she stalked him, holding her dagger in her right hand to stab, and readying her left arm to block his blow. He was the weak one here, this human, this thief. Death bothered him. She had no such qualms.

Sinome tyeluva coialle.

Gray lips twitched upward beneath a black hood. A bloodthirsty smile lit her fiendish face. This man, while not Drow, was a Taint as well. And it was in this alone (as well as her pain...and the color black) she reveled: to make the Tainted suffer and die.

>>>Here will end your life.<<<

[Elijah_Morendale]

I don't want to hurt you again... Please... Don't make me do this...

All he wanted to do was help the poor girl. He thought he was doing the right thing. And now, it's come down to a dark alley, two daggers, and a slim chance of escape, let alone survival. Even in the dim light, he could see the elf's wicked, twisted grin. She was planning on teaching him the definition of pain and suffering.

Elijah felt his grip around the ice dagger tighten. If he wanted to survive, he'd have to stay focused. He raised his weapon in a quasi-defensive stance, and awaited her first move. She let loose with a quick slash that he attempted to parry. However, he lacked the proper defensive training (his "partner" as a kid was a straw dummy that lacked any offensive capabilities whatsoever), and misjudged her movements. Her blade lightly cut his forearm, not enough to cause injury, but enough to make him drop his dagger.

He grunted in pain as a small trickle of blood mingled with his flesh. As he clutched the wound, he saw the flash of the dagger being thrust at his face. He quickly sidestepped, allowing the steel death to freely pass by his face. Not losing a beat, the elf slashed downward. Elijah was quick to dodge again. Her arm passed by his head again, however this time, Elijah quickly grabbed her weaponed hand and jammed the blade of the dagger into the door, effectively wedging it into the wood.

The elf paused for a split second in surprise, and it was enough time for Elijah to shove her aside and make a break for the open streets.

[Synful_Blood]

Syn growled as she was shoved roughly aside, and immediately started trying to pry her weapon free. It only took her a few seconds to do, and as she started running back out of the alley, she caught a swift glimpse of a cold glint -- his ice knife that he'd tried to pull on her. She grabbed it, feeling the chill in her hand like an awaiting death. A grin crossed her lips as she continued her chase.

Yassen hyandalle, amin tyeluva coialle. Ar'yassen sina hyandaringwe e'hoonlle, lle tyeluva rangwuva naikamin.

But it was a futile effort. She couldn't see him, and his faster feet drew him safely away from her, though the maze that was Scara Brae. Eventually, lost and exhausted, she gave up the chase, leaning against the wall of a secluded alley. Rage heated her cold heart. Maybe she had not found that human, and maybe she had not killed him...but she would...oh yes, she would. She swore it by the dripping icicle in her hand, she would feel his blood running over her body as the life faded from his eyes.

A hand on her arm brought her out of her reverie. It was another man, saying something. She didn't care what he thought he was asking of her, her answer was "N'UMA."

Syn glanced around as he came in closer, and her nose wrinkled as he got close enough to smell him -- fetid and rank, as were all humans. There was no one else to see...no one else to tell. Swiftly, she stabbed into his throat with the ice pick. While it wasn't the death she wanted this evening, it would have to suffice. Tucking her dagger into her belt, the mixed-breed Elf walked away.

~*~

Elijah leaned against the wall of his room at the inn, drenched in sweat and panting. She wasn't here, which meant that he'd lost her. What hadn't she understood? He'd just wanted to help her, and for his efforts, all he'd gotten was mugged and cut.

Glancing down at his arm, the young man sighed. It wasn't too bad a cut, but it was still annoying.

Oh well...at least I'm still alive. After the course of the night, he was lucky for even that much.

>>>With your blade, I will end your life. And with this cold blade in your heart, you will understand my pain.<<<

"NO."

[Skie and Avery]

Story

Continuity: 6 - While I didn't get much background from Elijah, and it was random, it was the right kind of random.

Setting: 6 - I could have used more detail here. On whole, pretty average.

Pacing: 8 - While this might have nothing to do with Pacing, I was eating chicken noodle soup when I got to the part about Syn handling the squishy bowels of the theif. Thanks. I really mean that. *slurp* You guys did well here, kept me interested and the thread flowed along well, despite the areas of low action.

Character

Dialogue: 8 - As always, Syn, it's a pleasure to see the authentic languages used, and you used my favorite Drow word ever. Vith! Also, the use of the language barrier here was very nicely dealt with.

Action: 6

Persona: 6

Writing Style

Mechanics: 7 - Only a few minor errors, nothing that going over your posts out loud before tossing them up wouldn't do miracles to help.

Technique: 5 - I like both of your styles, but brevity seemed to be a big problem in a few of the posts. Both flavors, too. You don't want to ramble on about trivial things, but you also don't want a six sentence post to try and convey something complicated.

Clarity: 7

Wild Card: 3 - While I know there was an announcement up about the approval of bunnies, I really did not like how sometimes Syn would write FOR Elijah, separating it from her own posts with squiggy lines. I know there's a name for them, but I don't care at the moment. I really would have liked to see a conclusion from the writer of the last character I read about in a thread.

Total: 62

Spoils: When retrieving their things from the thief's body, both characters somehow walk away with some extra gold!

Synful_Blood receives 1082 EXP and 225 GP
Elijah_Morendale receives 992 EXP and 205 GP

[Letho]

EXP/GP added!