Excuse me, but aren't you the man?

[Raelyse]

Stem glanced hopelessly at Eltarri, hoping she would let something go as he laid face down before Raelyse's barrage but realized that he would get nothing. She had been traumatized and the prince, ruder now than he was usually was not making a particularly good impression on her. Sighing hopelessly, the gnome took out his divination wand, chanting something softly and poked it around, waiting for when it would light up, indicating that Raelyse's rapier would be in that direction. His eyes occasionally turned to observe the two humanoids who did little to even acknowledge each other than a trademark Myrusian scowl from the royal one. Eltarri seemed to be fuming like only a woman could, sitting there and conversing within her mind to herself.

"I should have become a gardener," the gnome complained. He shook his head slightly from side to side, regretting lying to his leader about a divination spell. He had things like that in his arsenal, only that they took a while to be effective and it was a shame that time was now under the constant gaze of his impatient leader.

So it was with great joy that Stem's eyes lit up when the wand glowed a faint blue when it pointed in the relevant direction. The little one nearly let his lips emit a yelp of joy, before he realized that he was facing straight into an enormous stone wall. It had to be an illusion or a magical trap, the gnome deduced, because everywhere else in this 'room' had something against the stone wall. A quick poke and a general detection spell did nothing, so it was with great trepidation that he slowly turned around, to glance at Raelyse, who was now leaning heavily on his cane, glaring at any and everything in this room.

"Sir?" he said, his voice barely above a whisper. Somehow Raelyse heard him because his face only darkened.

"What is it, halfling? I don't see a rapier... but somehow the Jya herself appeared in this room because that lazy woman doesn't appear to be doing much of anything. It's okay though, because she's royalty, am I correct?" he said, his voice laced with disdain and sarcasm. In a way, it cheered him up slightly.

"I've found the passage," Stem said, trying to butter up his leader, hoping that would make him more receptive to the news that would come later. Only after the words left his mouth did he realize that was nothing but a fool's hope.

"Then open it, fool," Raelyse said, his gaze now totally focused on the gnome, the prince even making a few steps forward towards his underling. "I'm growing increasingly tired at your continued incompetence. Do you want me to show you how my slavers motivate the Katuz'Veit?"

The prince lifted his left hand, opening his palm to face the gnome. This was the stance that Raelyse adopted before he would cast magic, specifically, the lightning bolts he could conjure to torture the clan of dwarves enslaved to his power group, the Grander's Order. "My men do a better job," the prince continued, sending shivers and cold sweat down the gnome's spine. "But still, I am the teacher."

Stem could hear the crackle in the room and didn't need to turn around to know that lightning was already forming on his fingertips. If he didn't show Raelyse progress, the gnome knew real pain would course through his body very soon. Turning his head, he glanced at Eltarri, hoping that she could help.

"I need the girl's help," he said, panting. "She knows... Please help..."

[Chiroptera]

((Bunnying!))

It was the fear in Stem’s voice that shook Eltarri out of her pout, drawing her eyes to the side so that she saw the look of terror on his face. She followed his gaze, twisting until she could see the prince, whose hand was stretched out threateningly towards the gnome. She wanted to scoff and dismiss the pansy's silly posturing, but her small friend seemed far from amused as his leader’s antics, and the girl thought better of it. But how could the prince threaten Stem? Was there some kind of enchantment on his ring that affected his servants? She remembered overhearing the word slaves. Was Stem somehow being forced to serve him? The realization that a wizard as powerful as Stem was afraid of whatever it was Raelyse’s ring could do to him made Eltarri swallow her pride. He may not have come down to save her, but she still owed him for the rescues in the desert. She pushed herself to her feet and turned reluctantly to the prince, fighting the instinctive cowardice that made her feel as though she should grovel at the feet of royalty.

“Wait! Just wait. You don’t have to hurt him . . . I’ll help.” The surrender was painful and Eltarri turned away from the prince before he could redirect his angry gaze. She looked down at the secret passage’s entrance, its doorway invisible in the stone. Her throat tightened at what had to come next, but she pushed away the revulsion. “The doorway is sealed magically, and it’s activated by blood. Stem, can you-,”

The gnome had already sprung into motion, darting past the prince towards the site of the recent carnage. Eltarri set her sword against the altar and kneeled down, running a finger over where she remembered the opening to be. Stem came to a sliding halt beside her, knife in one hand and a pale finger in the other.

“If we’re quick, the blood should still be wet enough to flow,” he said in a rushed breath, casting a quick glance at the prince. Eltarri blanched and fought a wave of nausea. Not fingers again . . .

Tearing her gaze away from the thumb, Eltarri looked back at the stone and gestured to the two-foot long box she had drawn in the dust, too sick to speak. Stem obligingly knelt beside her and began to run the severed end of the finger along the lines, leaving a thin trail of dark blood in its wake. Halfway through the thumb ran dry, and Stem jumped up and ran to get another one, face pale and eyes flickering anxiously from the stone at his feet to the prince. Eltarri sat back on her heels and looked up at the stone wall, unable to stomach the severed digit. When Tarrence had opened it before, he’d only slit his pinky and delicately traced the invisible seam, a far cry from the bloody marks that lined the door now.

When the square was finished, Stem and Eltarri both stood and backed away from the door, watching the blood-smeared stone with apprehension. A few seconds went silently by. Stem glanced once at Eltarri before turned anxious eyes back to the stone. She bit her lip and frantically tried to decide if her estimated dimensions were accurate. Stem’s the one who'll suffer if you made a mistake . . .

Her thoughts were interrupted when the sound of harsh grating came from the stone before her. The blood-drawn square bubbled and seemed to melt into the rock like acid as the section that the square had enclosed grindingly pushed itself up from its place. A half-foot-thick block of grey stone heaved itself up until its bottom surface was level with the surrounding terrain before it scraped loudly across the uneven surface, moving until is hit the wall a few feet away.

When the stone once again lay still, Eltarri let out a shaky breath and took a step forward to peer down into the hole that it had left. Cold air wafted up from a tunnel that was too dark to see into, though a streak of light glimmered off the top rung of a ladder a few inches below the lip of the opening.

A tremor of unease overran the elation that opening the secret passage had produced, but Eltarri summoned her courage as she turned and waved one hand at the hole, glaring defiantly at the prince. Meat shield. She tried to put as much venom into her voice as he’d put into the utterance of her name earlier, but she was sure hers came out lacking.

“After you, your highness.”

[Raelyse]

Despite his eagerness to get his hand back on his rapier, Raelyse seemed to walk relaxed down the tunnel. Though he kept reassuring himself that this was because of his naturally relaxed nature, the truth was slapping him right across his handsome face. The path was linear, though that was probably the only thing that the prince found tolerable. The area was dank, damp, humid, warm, wet and every step he made seemed to send a million little pebbles down the path. It did not matter because every step that Raelyse took, he seemed to meet those same little rocks once more and it annoyed him to no end. It was also relatively dark despite the light of one of Stem's enchanted wands and the prince had never liked not being able to see anything. This was especially true when he had a feeling that his fine clothes were being covered in the dirt of this tunnel.

"Fuck tunnel," he cursed silently to himself. "This is a damn mine shaft."

Raelyse cursed again and again, spitting on the ground to the sides of himself before further descending down. He was not walking too quick, but somehow he still managed to keep a healthy distance of about fourteen or fifteen feet from his underling and the girl, something that he was more than comfortable with. What he wasn't happy with was the fact that he could hear the two banter and the occasional giggle from not only the humanoid girl but also the chubby gnome. He hated it when he was excluded but this time, Raelyse removed that thought from his mind, reminding himself that he did not socialize with decoys and the 'help.' He had a sixth sense about his rapier being close, though whether this was because he actually had a sixth sense or because he wanted to make himself feel better was irrelevant. When Raelyse had a feeling, he usually went with it.

After about five minutes of walking, the prince's thought he saw a light up ahead but quickly dismissed it as an optical illusion after it quickly disappeared. He was not worried. The only foes he had encountered over these past few days had been weak thieves and poor vampires, hardly a threat to him, even with his crippled leg. By now though, he noticed that he could no longer hear the gnome or the girl. He sighed and turned around and was relieved that his decoys had not been kidnapped or defeated, but instead they were taking their time and the slow moving bright light was shaking, indicating that the two had shared yet another laugh.

"Gnome!" Raelyse shouted, wincing as his loud voice caused an echo and some small stones to fall from the ceiling. "Woman!"

When the light began to move fast towards him, the prince allowed himself a confident smirk and he extended his free right hand and rested it against the wall. He loved exerting the power he had over his underlings and feeling superior. It was only when the light and the gnome arrived that feeling changed into something different, something Raelyse hardly felt.

"Uhhh... Prince Raelyse," the gnome stammered, tilting his head to indicate the wall that the prince was touching.

"What is it, gno-" Raelyse began, before he jumped in shock and moved towards the center of the tunnel slowly, his eyes never leaving the wall where his hand had been moments before. None of the three moved because before them was a grand sight indeed.

Raelyse had not noticed it because he had been traveling in relative darkness and the gnome had not noticed it because he had only seen bits and pieces of it, not the sum of the parts that was now before him. For on the wall, was an enormous skeleton of a dead dragon, almost seeming to be encased in the wall. Raelyse's palm had been on the creature's eye and it only just covered it. The being looked forward menacingly and even though its bones were devoid of any flesh, it still caused the prince to step back in fear of what it might have been. Only the snout, eyes and the front of the head were visible to the party, though the head was at least 10 feet high. The huge skull easily took up the height of the cavern. It seemed to fit in perfectly, the once white bones had been dirtied by the dirt and it had only been in the light that they notice that it was not pure stone.

Raelyse, obviously traumatized, placed his hand in front of him in an inviting gesture.

"Ladies and midgets first."

[Chiroptera]

Eltarri had no trouble with the cramped quarters of the narrow tunnel; she’d spent much of her childhood exploring the nooks and crannies of the caves back home in the mountains of Scara Brae. The air was getting steadily warmer, and even though it was thick with moisture it was still a welcome change from the cold of the cave above.What bothered her was the copious layer of gravel and rocks that jabbed into her bare feet at every step. She’d assumed earlier, based on the prince’s continued transport of his black cane, that their progress would be hindered by his crippled pace. In reality, however, it was she who brought up the rear, stepping gingerly across the rocks and doing her best to keep the bobbing light of the gnome in sight. Having to carry her sword by hand didn’t make the trek any easier.

“Are you all right back there?”

Stem’s voice trailed back to her, and Eltarri looked up to see that he’d stopped and turned back to address her. She opened her mouth to reply, tripped over a rock, and tumbled gracelessly to the floor. Stem hurried back to help her off her sword, and then fell into step beside her when she wordlessly kept walking. Knees and palms stinging, Eltarri kept her eyes downcast, glancing at the gnome and hoping he couldn’t see the flush of her cheeks. His face was still grim, but his eyes were bright with contained amusement. Eltarri wanted to drop back to her position in the back of the procession, but decided that the light of his wand was a fair exchange for ridicule. She settled for a sulk and smacked her sword into the ground as if it were a walking stick, wishing she had her boots so that she could stomp.

“You seem to have had a hard day today,” Stem commented conversationally.

Eltarri glared at him, but he showed no visible sign of mocking her. Turning her gaze back to the ground in front of her, she sighed and shrugged. “No worse than most.”

The gnome turned to look at her with surprise. “This kind of thing is normal for you?”

The half elf shrugged again. “It could have been worse,” she said pragmatically. There was no way she would let the gnome know how close she had been to bursting into tears at nearly every moment before and since his arrival. She didn't need him to think she was anymore weak and useless than she already seemed.

The gnome snorted. “Yeah, I suppose so. They could have decided to give us some of your fingers with the ransom note. Or they could have tortured you to death with pronged forks and boiling water.”

Eltarri blanched. The reminder of disconnected digits and water brought back some of the more unsettling memories of the last two days.

Stem noticed her expression and quickly went on. “But there were some good things that came of this, right?”

Mind still on the images of solitary fingers, Eltarri wasn’t feeling any of Stem’s optimism. “Oh yes, definitely. I got to meet my very first prince.”

Stem couldn’t think of an appropriate response to her sarcasm. They walked in silence for a while before the silence of the tunnel and the weight of the ground overhead prompted him to speak.

“Don’t let Raelyse give you the wrong idea about royalty. They’re not all like him.”

Eltarri feigned surprise. “You mean every prince isn’t selfish, demanding, egotistical, rude . . .”

“Well . . . they are, but Raelyse is all those things to a higher-than-normal degree.” He looked at the swaggering back of the prince ahead of them before leaning conspiratorially towards Eltarri. “I think it has something to do with his hair.”

Eltarri laughed softly. “That would explain it. Is the color natural?”

Stem rolled his eyes and shrugged. “I heard once that he keeps it that color to make the job easier for the silversmiths who have to carve the idols of himself that he expects the people of his country to worship.”

Eltarri tried to muffle the sound of her giggle by putting a hand over her mouth. “He does seem to take unnaturally good care of it.”

Stem chuckled, a wicked gleam in his eye. “He probably spends hours and hours sitting in front of the mirror, brushing it the way noble women do.”

The girl burst into laughter. “Maybe he has a personal hairstylist, just to make sure that no one else ever gets the same look!”

Stem chortled vindictively. “Nah, I think he has a spell that styles it up for him. His magic has to be good for something practical other than inflicting pain.”

His words reminded Eltarri of the threat that Raelyse had used when trying to make the gnome open the tunnel. They were mocking him now, but Stem had been genuinely afraid of the prince’s intimidation. What did a prince have that would scare a wizard? Eltarri looked at the gnome, who was still chuckling.

“Stem, how powerful is the prince’s-,”

Raelyse’s voice suddenly barked from ahead. Stem and Eltarri both jumped guiltily, simultaneously thinking with horror that he’d overheard their discussion. They hurried forward, reluctant to go near him but too afraid to disobey.

Woman? Eltarri shook her head with indignation. It was better than 'meat shield,' but not by all that much. When the two were close enough to the prince to see him clearly, Eltarri relaxed. The tunnel had widened and was now about twice her height and much wider , though it seemed to grow significantly as it continued behind Raelyse. The prince stood in the tunnel just before it widened as though he were completely at ease underground, with one hand resting against the wall and an arrogant smile on his face. Her gaze was caught by the odd color of the wall that he leaned against. It wasn’t the grey stone that they’d seen in the cave, nor was it the darker rocks that littered the ground around them. It was white, porous material, streaked with yellow stains that made it seem very old.

“Uh . . . Prince Raelyse.” Stem’s voice was hesitant, and the prince’s startled reaction would have amused Eltarri if she hadn’t felt the wary uncertainty that she saw reflected on Stem’s face. Her mouth opened, but the prince spoke first and the question died on her lips.

Lady? A small part of her mind irritably noticed the progression of labels and the implication of his sudden and not quite convincing gentility, but the slight and unexpected waver in his voice told her that now was not the time to cross him. Stem had moved forward almost instantly, as though he had been trained to immediately respond to the voice of his master. Eltarri stepped cautiously after him, swinging her sword beside her like a cane as she followed the gnome out of the narrower part of the tunnel.

The wand-light that Stem had used in the tunnel wasn’t nearly bright enough to banish the shadows of this larger room, but with a whispered spell the gnome strengthened the glow, casting its pale light over the stone room before them. While the cave above had been polished and cleared of debris, the chamber that greeted their eyes now was craggy, the floor littered with huge boulders and rock formations that climbed like stairs up the sloping sides of the massive cave. Stalactites hung like giant daggers, suspended over their heads and dripping moldy water onto the debris-covered floor below. The other side of the cave divided into a few passageways that extended beyond the light of Stem’s wand, and overhead Eltarri caught sight of fractures in the wall that were too dark and far-reaching to be mere cracks. The stone was a darker color, contrasting sharply with the odd white rocks that extended from the wall like some kind of sculpture. Eltarri stepped closer to a part of the formation that looked like a hollowed skull, complete with two double rows of teeth that were almost as tall as she was. She gingerly put out one hand to touch one of the ivory-like teeth, afraid to admit what she already knew.

“Stem,” she called hesitantly, “please tell me these aren't-,”

Something round and hard smacked into the back of her head and Eltarri turned around, lifting her free arm over her face as she searched the ground behind her for the assailant. Stem was moving towards the center of the cave, wand lifted high. The ground behind her was empty except for the prince, who still stood in the segueway between the narrower tunnel and the larger cave. Her eyes narrowed. He didn’t look as though he'd been tossing stones recently, but . . .

Another rock hit her, this time striking her on the cheek and making a curse pop out of her mouth that she didn’t remember memorizing. Hoping Stem hadn’t heard the vulgarity, Eltarri hefted her sword and held it horizontally in front of her face as she slowly pivoted, trying to shield herself from whoever it was throwing stones as she scanned the walls.

“Stem, be careful,” she warned. “I think there’s someone else in here.”

The light from Stem’s wand suddenly went out. Eltarri’s heart pounded in the sudden darkness.

“Stem?”

She was answered by the sound of things rushing through the air. A stone slapped against her sword, the bracers on her arms tightening her muscles just in time to keep the blow from knocking the blade against her face. She heard something else hit flesh, and Stem’s angry shout told her that the rock-slinger seemed to be able to able to see in the dark. Her fear was interrupted by a flash of relief. At least the prince was relatively safer in the tunnel.

“Eltarri? Where are you?” The gnome’s voice was filled with worry.

“Stumbling around in the dark, same as you,” she answered. “What happened to the light?”

“Someone cast a darkness spell, it nulls out my wand.” She heard his footsteps as he drew nearer to her, interrupted occasionally by a curse as he tripped over a rock. “I don’t like this one bit. There’s some kind of powerful magic around here, and it isn’t coming from Raelyse.”

Eltarri felt as though her breathing was unnaturally loud. “But you’re a powerful magician, aren’t you?”

Unseen, Stem shook his head and opened his mouth, but the voice that boomed through the cave didn’t come from the gnome. It was masculine and commanding, so loud that Eltarri could feel its vibrations bouncing in her chest. “The only powerful magician around here . . .”

Light suddenly flooded the cave, permeating the space so fully that that it seemed to be coming from the rocks themselves. The light had a red tinge to it, and even though its sudden brightness didn’t nearly compare to the light spell that had blinded the vampires earlier, it took Eltarri a moment to adjust to the change in lighting.

“ . . . is me.”

Her mouth dropped open at the sight that met her eyes. Men stood around them, dispersed in what seemed to be random formation against the walls, weapons unsheathed and gloating smiles on their faces. Eltarri counted six, but movement at the corner of her eye told her that there were more on the other side of the skull. Standing on a ledge twenty feet in the air was a man who carried no weapon and was dressed in the silk robes of a noble. He was young and bearded and he carried in one hand a long red staff that was topped by a glowing red gem. He was thin and obviously unaccustomed to physical labor of any sort, but despite his weakling appearance his face bore a smug sneer that showed arrogance to rival that of the prince.

The reminder of royalty made Eltarri gasp, fighting the urge to look back to the tunnel. If he was still there, looking that way might give his hiding spot away. If they could keep them ignorant of the prince’s presence . . .

“I will give you one opportunity to preserve your miserable lives.” The man’s voice was nasal and high-pitched, magically enhanced so that it echoed through the cave. “What are you doing here?”

The man was looking at her. Eltarri’s mind froze, but Stem piped up from a few feet behind her.

“We’re not here to fight or nothing . . . We’re just looking for some fellows who took something from us earlier today.” He mustered a weak laugh. “You wouldn’t happen to have seen any sword-stealing vampires around here, would you?”

The men around them broke into harsh laughter. Weapons moved and feet shifted. Eltarri felt her knees begin to tremble.

“Actually, little dwarf, they-,” he gestured at the men who encircled them, “are all sword-stealing vampires. And I think I’m going to let them eat you.”

With fierce smiles the men in front of Eltarri stepped forward with lifted weapons, and then the red light disappeared and the cave was plunged into darkness, the dripping of water and the shifting of approaching attackers the only noises to break the silence.

Eltarri whimpered.

[Raelyse]

A third voice echoing throughout the cavern was perhaps one of the last things that the prince would have expected. It was a voice that resounded with power, one that held confidence. Because of the magic which made his voice imposing, the prince was sure that he was probably a tank of a man. That was until he rushed, knowing that his sword was near enough and that this man was responsible for it. He felt his muscles twinge with excitement at the potential of glancing at that fine rapier blade once again, and the fight that he would have to engage in to get it back.

Raelyse had to swallow a laugh to prevent himself from laughing when he cast his eyes upon the owner of that imposing voice. Gangly and devoid of any muscles, his opponent was dressed in robes that hardly made him look like a man five times the prince's age. He spoke to the gnome and the girl, trying to intimidate them. As he stepped between them and the way he had come down and effectively sealed off any chance of them running, he couldn't help but smile.

No doubt this one had a myriad of magical spells in his arsenal, but the prince was confident that he could deal with them and the wizard, using the subsequent confusion among the vampires to make sure they fled in terror. The way that this man spoke about them was not far from the way that Raelyse spoke about Stem and the rest of his servants. They were mere employees, possibly not by choice and at the first chance, they would flee. As long as Raelyse kept the wizard at bay, the gnome would be able to hold off the vampires.

"Don't talk to my underlings like that, wizard," Raelyse shouted, trying to make himself sound as imposing as him. Even without magical enhancement, the prince had something about him, his swagger ensuring that there was no doubting his conviction. "Aren't we all gentlemen here? I just want my sword back, then you can send your smelly servants away and I can send mine, then I never have to glance at anyone wearing a dining table cloth ever again."

The wizard fumed, in a similar way that the prince would have if anyone ever made fun of him. "Mock me at your peril, fool."

The voice was enhanced and the wizard raised his hand, obviously preparing to strike Raelyse with a spell. Unfortunately for him, spells took time and concentration. As the prince pulled his sword up slightly from its sheath, glancing at a small part of his blade. In the blink of an eye, it flared into life, instantly adopting the glow that had shone before.

"Put your hands by your side," Raelyse said, sternly. "Now."

When the wizard didn't respond, the prince of Myrusia pulled his sword from its sheath, holding it above its head and watching in sadistic glee as everyone in the cavern barring Raelyse lifted their hands to cover their eyes from the unbearable glow.

"Now my friend," the prince said, with a smile. "My sword."

[Chiroptera]

The sudden onslaught of darkness was bad enough, but the shout from behind her that broke the ominous silence made Eltarri want to groan aloud. Underling? She was too worried about his ceaseless chatter to dwell for long on the demeaning station. His posturing babble would give his position away to the vampires! Her eyes searched the darkness, hoping to catch a glimpse of Stem as he was no doubt rushing to protect the idiot prince. She took a step forward and stubbed one of her bare feet against a rock, then bit her lip to keep herself from making noise. It wouldn’t help Stem at all if she gave herself away and had to be rescued by him as well. Trying to remember where the vampires had been before the light had gone out, she slid her feet cautiously forward, hoping the vampires were listening more to the prince’s diatribe than to her.

“Mock me at your peril, fool!”

It wasn’t a very frightening voice, but its deadly self-assurance made it more intimidating than it would have been otherwise. The wizard was confident of his skill, certain that he was the most powerful entity in the cave, and Eltarri wasn’t inclined to disagree. He’d already been able to null Stem’s wand . . .

The room suddenly flared with a brightness that rivaled the glory of the sun. Even with her back to the source her eyes stung from the blaze. She threw her free arm across her face, the pain in her pupils ignored in the rush of triumphant relief that the reappearance of Stem’s magic sent through her. She heard the prince’s voice over the cries of the blinded vampires, but there was too much turmoil in the room to decipher his words. Eyes shut to no avail against the brightness, Eltarri wondered why the gnome didn’t use a spell that would contain the harm to just his enemies. She stumbled forward, one arm over her face and sword lifted waveringly in front of her.

“ . . . My sword.”

The prince’s voice reached her ears and the girl shook her head in annoyance. They were surrounded by vampires with only a gnome and his all-assailing light, and the moron was still only worried about his silly rapier!

“You think a little light is all that it takes to stop me?” The wizard sounded furious, but his voice was slightly muffled, as if by a sleeve that was hanging from an arm plastered across his eyes. “You don’t know who you’re dealing with!”

The taunt echoed, seeming to come from every corner of the room, and then his voice continued to echo through the room, sounding to Eltarri’s like nothing more than a rambling liturgy in gibberish. His voice waxed and waned, ranging in tone and volume from a whispered murmur to a fanatical shriek. Eltarri turned around, trying to pinpoint where the sound was coming from, but it echoed evenly across the stone walls, coming from everywhere and nowhere.

“Stem, what’s going on?” Eltarri tried to shout over the mantra, but her voice was lost in the auditory storm. Accompanying the man’s rant was a new noise, the unsettling sound of shifting rock. It started as a creaking groan, the unwilling movement of ground that had been solid for centuries, and grew steadily to the grating screech of grinding rock. Dust rose into the air and the earth itself seemed to be moving beneath her feet. Eltarri moved her arm and slitted her lids, but the slightest exposure to the blazing light was all it took to make her eyes water.

In the short instant that her eyes were open, however, the brightness of the cave permitted her a glimpse of the cave. The prince stood with arm upraised and a cocky smile on his face, only a short distance away from Stem, who was inexplicably covering his own eyes. Why would he bother with a weapon that hurt even the wielder? Behind them the vampires were similarly cowering from the blaze, but the thing that made Eltarri wish her eyes hadn’t been momentarily blinded was the strange way that the white stone behind the prince seemed to be arduously lifting itself from the ground, pulled upwards by the segmented arch that connected it to the wall of the cave. The ground was still shaking, the wizard’s chant went on, and the groaning of the stone was getting louder.

And the skull was . . . moving?

[Raelyse]

The ground itself started to shake as the wizard's chant continued. Eyes belonging to every person in the cavern darted around the small area, scanning for the target of the magic. Contrary to the voice enhancement, all within seemed to know that this was serious, something that would decide the outcome of this little scuffle. Shifting movements were made, small shuffles to more clearly define the two factions. Stem, Raelyse and Eltarri moved slowly back the way they came, their eyes scanning for the danger while the vampires made their way slowly behind their master.

"Enough of the tricks!" Raelyse screamed, half out of fear but with enough left over fake bravado within him to at least begin to convince those here that he meant business. "Reveal your ace and stop wasting my time!"

The prince didn't have to wait much longer. The wizard shifted his attention to him, flashing him a look as if to say 'As you wish.' It was then that it hit Raelyse, it was then that he realized what the wizard had been doing and he cursed himself for not realizing it sooner. A posse of vampires should have made it obvious, but now Raelyse knew for sure that this wizard was a necromancer. They should have been wiped out in Raiaera by now, but evidently, one rodent had survived the extermination.

When the ground continued to shake, the prince realized where it was coming from. His head, along with everyone else's, shifted to the right of the cavern. A horrifying sight greeted them.

The dragon skeleton was now clearly shifting and moving, displacing dust and rocks from the wall of the cavern as it slowly dislodged itself from its embedding in the cave. Two green orbs glowed in the area where its eyes had once been. Despite the lack of any flesh, it was still enough to send a shiver down Raelyse's spine. It took some strength from the prince for him to twist his neck backwards and glance at his two allies, both much more scared than he was. Stem's knees had buckled and the gnome was now butt down on the ground, as close to being literally petrified by fear as possible. The prince managed to scoff, not even wanting to know Eltarri's reaction. For a second, his confidence at being superior to his companions was enough to temporarily lift his mood. This quickly changed.

The dragon's skull was now completely free from the cavern and its neck was rapidly freeing itself. Raelyse summoned his courage, searching his mind for a way to get out of this alive. He was soaked in sweat and the cavern was way too dry for him to form any sort of formidable ice spell. His lightning spells wouldn't likely work on a enemy that's body was likely as hard as the rock that it had been in for however long. The prince threw a quick glance at the magician, in some form of trance. He didn't seem to move, all of his attention most probably on animating the dragon. The vampires had already begun to run away, the echoes of their footsteps ringing through the cavern. Before he could figure out why, Raelyse noticed that the dragon was now able to strike at him. Its neck was now free enough so that it could attack its master's nearest enemy - him.

Without thinking, the prince tapped into his most primal side and used the only option he had left, his sword. Raelyse thrust his weapon straight forward, plunging the weapon deep into the snout of the creature, pushing it in so deep that the entire blade was now in the skull of the creature. The prince's fingers brushed it, feeling its rough texture, harder even than the very rocks around them. For a second, Raelyse thought he had won. The dragon had stopped moving.

Then he realized that this was the closest he would feel to being helpless. The dragon swung its neck to the left in one swift motion, throwing Raelyse into the wall of the cavern and his sword in the opposite direction, all magical effects fading without its user. The prince tried to move, but a wave of pain swam over his entire body. The dragon had thrown him with such force that he felt a bone crack with every movement he tried to make. Blood soaked his silver hair, moving across his pale face.

It was not nearly over though. The dragon moved its head towards the prince, opening its jaws to reveal a row of teeth leading to a neck which now showed nothing more than a row of bones. It stayed there for a moment, as if to taunt the prince. Raelyse closed his eyes, without the strength to even think of his last rites or anything. He swore he smell the stench of the beast, without the logic to know that that was impossible.

Blood ran down his face and his mind shut down.

----------------------------------------------------

A cool breeze blew across Raelyse's face. A face that was strangely perfect. Even the smallest of cuts had gone and as his eyes woke up to a blurry world, the prince felt no pain. All of his wounds were gone, though he still felt as if he could barely move his body. He glanced around, but his eyes showed him nothing more than shapes.

"Am I dead?" he managed to croak out, mostly to himself.

When no response came, the prince almost took that as a yes. Fortunately for him, his luck had come through yet again and a melodic voice corrected him.

"No," a distinctly elven voice responded. "No, Prince Raelyse, you most definitely are not."

The shapes were starting to become more defined, though wherever he was still seemed to be half-dreamlike.

"The Tel Aglarim found you, unconscious and covered in cuts and bruises, as well as a fair share of broken bones, but very much alive."

Raelyse thought for a moment, but his head throbbed. Evidently, he wasn't as fully recovered as he thought.

"Where?" he blurted out. His throat was dry, but his mind was wondering.

"They didn't say. The captain told me that there were very clear signs that someone had kept you very much alive until the Tel Aglarim had arrived. They decided to respect the anonymity. Maybe there is good in this world after all."

Raelyse thought for a moment, waiting for his mind to tie the loose ends together to form some sort of cohesion. When it begun to make sense, he could not help but smile.

"What of my effects?" he said, his voice filled with renewed vigor. "A pair of swords."

"In this room, no more than a few feet. When you inevitably recover, you'll use them with the same skill you did before. You, Prince Raelyse, are very much a hero. One of your swords found the heart of a necromancer in hiding. The kingdom of Raiaera owes you once again."

Raelyse chuckled to himself.

"I can't help but be a hero," he responded.

-------------------------------------------------

Elsewhere, another one, a gnome of much shorter stature but much greater character, thought the same thing to himself.

(Spoils: Raelyse's sword cane now constantly emits a blinding light, as bright as the sun, which only Raelyse is immune to. It also grows to the strength of Mythril when exposed in natural sunlight.

His rapier also holds an unknown enchantment.)

[Chiroptera]

Eltarri was too terrified by the glimpse of moving rock to open her eyes again and risk seeing the terror again. Maybe she’d imagined it. That crumbling sound? Surely it was just the shifting of pebbles as water overhead weighed down on the rocks . . . or something. There was no reason to think that if she opened her eyes again she’d see the towering fangs of a fossilized dragon descending to bite her in half.

An imperious bellow came from nearby, the prince’s unmistakable voice showing none of the fear that was making her knees go weak. Eltarri realized with unsurprised dismay that he was the closest one to the skull. Part of her mind told her to run forward and intercede on his behalf, but an especially gut-wrenching squeal of rock made her head whip sideways and her eyes spring open for another glance at the monstrosity that was being birthed from the stone of the cavern wall.

She didn’t hear the squeak that preceded the thump of someone’s rear hitting the ground, but the sight of the stone dragon’s horned skull and opening mouth sent the half-elf into a bolting run that terminated in a graceless sprawl when her feet tripped over the short legs of the grounded gnome. She lay trembling on her stomach, too confused and blinded and fearful to move.

“We need to get out of here,” Stem yelled towards her.

“Your bloody light isn’t doing us any good,” she grumbled at him, eyes closed again as she scrambled to her knees, feeling around for her sword that had flown from her hand on landing. “What’s he doing now?”

Stem didn’t need her to clarify as to whom he was. “He’s—,”

He was interrupted by the sound of metal scratching against stone, and a moment later the light that had been glaring inescapably dimmed to a mere glow. Eltarri opened her eyes and saw something that genuinely shocked her.

The prince was wielding his sword! And not half-badly, if the sword’s location was any indication of his skill.A dragon’s nostril wasn’t the easiest of targets, and it took an enviable amount of courage to stab a resurrected dragon in the face. Maybe he didn’t carry the weapon merely for show. With the fancy sword sunk to the hilt, Eltarri was struck by the courage that had made him approach the monstrosity so fearlessly.

Or maybe it was foolishness.

She cringed when Raelyse went flying, wincing at the noise his body made slamming into the stone wall. She heard the clatter of his sword, but the only thing she could see in the sudden darkness was the swinging glow of the dragon’s green eyes as its head moved.

“Stem, do something!” Eltarri’s questing hands found her sword and she grabbed it and jumped to her feet, then stood indecisively, unsure of how she could contribute. The prince had kindly showed them how effective swords were against it.

The gnome’s voice came again, firmer than it had been before. “We need to stop the necromancer.”

Eltarri flashed him an incredulous look before she remembered that it was too dark to see facial expressions. “We need to stop the dragon!”

“The necromancer’s controlling the dragon,” he explained shortly, scrambling to his feet and standing beside her. She had her sword out, but it felt like a metal toothpick compared to the image of the dragon’s fangs that had burned itself into her mind.

“I have a plan,” the gnome said determinedly. The prince wasn’t conscious to issue commands, but Stem stepped into the authoritative position with aplomb, his voice certain and confident. “Get back to the tunnel and run for help.”

“What?” Eltarri couldn’t believe her ears. It’d take her hours to find people who could help and to convince them to return with her. How did Stem expect to stay alive on his own?

“Go quickly,” he ordered, turning towards the ledge on which the magician had last been seen. “I need to find the necromancer.”

“I don’t think so,” Eltarri contradicted with unfelt resolve. Her legs were itching to break into the ordered run, but she held herself still, determined to prove that she wasn’t a useless meat shield. “I’ve been your damsel in distress one too many times in the last few days. I’m staying!”

Stem apparently didn’t have the time to argue with her, because when she glanced at him again his hands were lined in faint blue light and weaving intricate patterns in front of his chest. Eltarri looked back at the shimmering eyes of the dragon, watching as the head twisted back and forth. The bright eyes seemed to be promising pain and death as soon as its rear was free from the rock. The head rose into the air, the eyes two floating globes that shined through its jaw and nostrils as rock grumbled around them and the necromancer’s voice bounced off the walls.

“Stem?” Her voice was faint and desperate, but when she glanced sideways again the gnome and his glowing hands were gone. She turned back to her nemesis, frowning with determination. The dragon didn’t move especially quickly, and with her bracers she’d be able to fend off attacks. She didn’t have to kill it, if that was even possible, she just had to distract it for long enough to allow Stem to find the necromancer. How hard could it be to hang onto both her life and the dragon’s attention for a couple of minutes? It wasn’t as if the thing could breathe fire.

Adrenaline coursed through her veins, combating the terror that made her hands shake. She tightened her hands around her sword, gritting her teeth and testing the ground beneath her bare feet for stability.

“You get the wizard,” she muttered inaudibly to the gnome, “and I’ll take care of the dragon.”

___________________________________


She was conscious, but the silence that enveloped her was so foreign that at first she didn’t realize that she was awake. Her eyes opened slowly, her gaze settling on a glowing blue light that hovered a few inches over her face. She watched in fascination as the wand tip pulled backto be replaced by the inquisitive face of Stem.

“How’re you feeling?”

Eltarri groaned a wordless reply, but considering what her memory was supplying as the last thing she’d done before she’d been knocked out, she was in pretty good shape. She remembered her charge, the bloodcurdling battle cry she emitted as she’d swung her sword, the rapid approach of two glowing eyes and a grinding jaw, and then . . . A faint blush colored her cheeks. Had she hit the dragon even once?

“Just lay there for a while,” Stem ordered kindly from beside her. His voice was thick with weariness. “I had to do a lot of work on you.”

“What happened, exactly?” She was almost afraid to ask.

He grimaced sympathetically. “I think the dragon might have had night-vision, because it definitely saw you coming. And it had one of its forearms free.”

Eltarri winced. She hadn’t thought of its claws before she’d charged. A soft breeze tickled her face, and she realized that she was lying on grass in fresh air with the blue-black expanse of the sky smiling down from overhead. She sat up at once, blinking dizzily at the rush of blood to her head, her eyes drinking in the rolling hills and grass with relish. It was still mostly dark, though dawn was obviously on its way, but even the night sky was brighter than the depths of the earth that had been her prison. She'd grown up in caves, but she hadn't realized how attached to the surface world she'd become since leaving them. The entrance to the tunnel lay only a few meters away, an unobtrusive hole in the side of a hill. Had Stem dragged her all the way up from that underground chamber?

“Where’s the dragon?” she wondered aloud.

“Still down there,” the gnome replied, stifling an exhausted yawn. “Dead again.”

“And the wiz- necromancer?”

“Him too.”

The half-elf swallowed ashamedly. “You . . . you killed them both by yourself?”

Stem shrugged. “It wasn’t too hard. A few well-placed light spells revealed the magician’s location fairly quickly, and then I just had to put a shielding spell on the dragon while I took out the necromancer. Raelyse’s sword landed rather handily near where the necromancer was hiding, and the fool didn’t even have a weapon on him other than that silly staff. ”

Eltarri stared at the nonchalant gnome, wondering at the change in character. How could a wizard as unassumingly powerful as he be so timid and subservient in the presence of the weakling prince? How could he stand to be under the dominion of a man as posturing and ineffective as Raelyse when he had all kinds of amazing abilities up his sleeves?

Thinking about the prince made Eltarri remember the state he’d been in the last time she’d seen him. She looked around nervously, half expecting him to be striking a heroic pose a few feet away with the disdaining expression that she’d almost grown accustomed to. Instead, her search ended on the prone form of the silver-haired royalty. His eyes were closed and a few of his limbs were bent at unnatural angles; blood still seeped from open wounds on his once-flawless face and exposed skin. Even unconscious, Eltarri was afraid to draw nearer, but she turned her awe-struck gaze onto Stem, who shamefacedly refused to meet her eyes.

“Wait . . . you didn’t heal him?”

“I only had enough energy to do partial healings or one complete healing,” he said defensively, “and it came down to deciding what would be best for the populace at large.”

Eltarri couldn’t believe her ears. Had she not seen this same gnome groveling before the prince only hours before? “You healed me instead of him?”

“I thought it would be better for all of us if he didn’t wake up while we were all still together,” he explained, still not meeting her gaze. “He’s not exactly known for his generosity, and if I’d healed him first and he’d decided not to let me rest long enough to be able to heal you as well . . .”

Eltarri sighed heavily. Once again, Stem had saved her life. In fact, he’d risked his own life and career once again to ensure her safety.

“It’s a good thing there are people like him in the world,” she declared, “because otherwise you might have me convinced that all people really might be good at heart.”

The gnome was drained and pale with fatigue, but he cracked a small smile and shook his head. “I’m no better than most.”

Eltarri rolled her eyes as she clambered gingerly to her feet. “I wish some of your modesty would rub off on your liege over there.”

“He has good reason for his pride,” Stem conceded. “Knowing what he’s capable of, I don’t begrudge him a little arrogance.”

The girl snorted in disagreement, frowning as she stretched sore limbs. As far as she’d seen, the man was only capable of eloquent speeches and pompous bluster. “Whatever you say, Stem. You’re the wizard.”

He chuckled from his seat. “Your sword’s over there with his rapiers. If you’re determined to stick around in Eluriand, please try to take care of yourself.”

She looked at the gnome again, realizing that this might be the last time she saw him. Raelyse didn’t seem to have much of an eye for dangerous situations, and if Stem accompanied him on all his misguided adventures, there was no guarantee that he’d be able to pull the prince through every one. A lump formed in her throat as she fastened her sword into its sling on her back. What could she say in parting to someone who’d been so essential to the perseverance of her life, even if she had just met him a few days ago?

“Are you . . . going to stay with him?”

Stem shook his head, hesitated, and then nodded. “I’m not quite sure of just how kindly disposed he'll be towards me after all this, but I’ll stay with him and make sure he doesn’t die until I’ve got enough energy to levitate him someplace where a patrol will find him. Then I figure I’ll give him a week or two to cool off- just in case he's mad- before I try to get my job back. Not the nicest of plans, but it’ll give you a chance to get away before he wakes up.”

Eltarri smiled sardonically. She doubted Raelyse would even remember her existence once he woke up. She wanted to offer to keep the gnome company, but the thought of the prince waking up prematurely and finding her still in his presence made her keep her mouth shut. Stem’s healing had left her feeling energized, and her boots and gear were still at the Wizard’s Rest, which was a good trek away.

Eltarri went to stand before the gnome, awkwardly fiddling with the buckle on her harness. She tried to make her voice light as she said, “Thanks for everything, Stem. You’ve proven yourself to be quite the hero.”

Stem shrugged. “I just did what I had to do.”

Eltarri smiled faintly before she turned towards the city. “Well, I'm starting to think that maybe that’s all it takes to be a hero.”

A few hours of contemplation later, Stem decided that maybe she was right.


Spoils: Knowledge of the location of a source of dragon bone. (Limited to personal use for sword augmentation at a higher level.)

[Karuka]

Initial Notes: I'm going to say that while this thread wasn't bad, it could definitely have been much better with a little bit of attention to detail. More detail was requested in this judgment, and I'm gonna try to give it. Any questions/comments on the judging, or if you want more specifics, I can be reached on AIM at Loquelf, or by Althanas PM.


Continuity: 3. This was the weakest part of the quest. I have no idea where either of you came from, or what either of you would be up to next. The most backstory I got on ANYONE in the thread was Stem, and from him, all we got was that he left home to become a general in the GO and found himself severely disappointed. I got that Raelyse knew Legiomir, and that the two had some sort of student-teacher relationship with an egomaniacal twist to it.

What about the vampires? There was some mention of Raelyse being picked out as a very deliberate target, but then there was nothing to support that. Did he have a brush with them in the past? How did they know of him and why was he their target? Why didn't he recognize any of them?

Chiroptera, I got even less backstory from you. I know from the thread that her mother is a Dark Elf that doesn't like sunlight, and I got some hint of her being on a mission, but other than that, absolutely nothing. Her sword is heavy to anyone but her, and her bracers have special properties, I saw that. How did she come across the sword and why is it like that?

From the beginning to the end of this quest, I was wondering why the two of you were doing what you were doing, why you wanted to get to Eluriand, and what the vampires had to do with anything, and those questions went unanswered. If the two of you had taken a little time to explain any of that, even in passing, the score here would be much higher.

Something even so simple as explaining why Eltarri could travel in Raiaera when there's a deep racism against her mother's kind, or how Raelyse got past the sentries of both nations (from Alerar to Raiaera) would have helped here.

Setting: 6. There wasn't anything really special here. Most of the time your setting seemed like the cardboard props in a middle school musical, there and easily moved away. That's not to say there weren't positive aspects to it, just that you never really interacted with it.

I liked the description of the desert that Chiroptera put out in her first and second posts, but I think more could have been done with it. What did the wind feel like on her skin? How did it feel to lose almost everything at the beginning? What about the dry, cottony feeling you get in your mouth when you're severely dehydrated? You stuck in something about how her mouth felt after she was ungagged, but there's so much that can be done in the desert. After that, the most you really did with setting was describe the altar in the scenes with the vampires. The one thing I REALLY loved in setting from you was the way you described having her head plunged into the water over and over again. That was the best interaction with an object in the environment in the entire thread.

Raelyse did a little better in this aspect overall. I liked how he described how the sand gets in your mouth and feels icky, and it gave me a laugh when Raelyse got a face full of sand. I thought the initial fight was fought in a patch of grass around the carriage in a limbo, though. Maybe there were some trees, but I don't know. I got a little bit of how Istien looked from post 13, and you interacted a little with sounds throughout the thread, but within Istien was kinda bland, and I didn't get a feel of Eluriand from either of you.

The best overall use of setting in the thread was when you were going through the tunnel with the dragon's skeleton. The use of the pebbles that irritated Raelyse so much when he walked on them really sticks out in my mind when it comes to setting, and it was just about the only real tactile sense I got during the entire thread.


Pacing: 6. This was fairly well done, for the most part. ALMOST each segment of the story flowed well into the next part, and you two were fairly good about picking up where the other left off. My biggest complaint is that there were long stretches of very little happening of worth to either plot or characters with little bursts of action.
The fight scenes, all of them, felt very rushed. It was almost like Chiroptera was saying "danger! Let's put forth a good effort, and then get the crap beat out of my character in one or two posts," while Raelyse was like "my character looks shiny. Oh, there are monsters. I will dispatch of them quickly and go back to saying how pretty my character is." More could have been done with it, but I didn't dock you too much for that.

What REALLY hurt you here was the rushed ending. Raelyse came back, wanted some stuff wrapped up, and just rushed through an ending in this thread to gather EXP, instead of communicating with Chiroptera to either finish the story properly or inform her that he was winding up the thread. Communication is a good thing, and in a massive quest like this, an ending that kinda says "aaaand...he got knocked out by a dragon, the end," was pretty lame. I liked Chiroptera's ending better, it gave more of a conclusion and tied up more loose ends.

All I can say in conclusion is: don't rush the thread. The story had been going off and on since last November, it could have waited a couple more months (or a week or two) to do a proper ending.

Dialogue: 8. I rather liked the dialogue. Raelyse's made him sound like a pompous brat, Eltarri's made her sound like a girl unsure of her place in the world but more than ready to go and try to take it on if it would satisfy her goal (whatever that was), and Stem's was simply brilliant, the right mix of kind, servile, and irritated with his employer.

I also liked Eltarri's Elvish farewell to Yaara, which served to create an immediate empathy and sympathy for the character. Who of us hasn't lost a pet, and who hasn't been stranded with no gas and no map? It sucks, and you conveyed how much it sucks well.

The reason you guys didn't get a ten here was because Raelyse had some bumpy and repetitive dialogue (ex: "My halfling seems to be bleeding from every possible hole in his body and I need a body to protect my body from their nasty teeth.")

Also, it kind of irks me that the best dialogue belonged to the NPC. It's good to give NPCs solid and valuable dialogue, but not at the expense of the PCs.

Action: 6. It was a very off-balance quest in terms of power. In most tense situations during this quest, Eltarri was the damsel in distress, and Raelyse had things too easy. I can see Eltarri getting her head handed to her by vampires, but I can't quite see Raelyse having the seeming invincibility at the applicable profile. I'd have liked to see Eltarri step up a little more, and Raelyse step down.

I docked you a few points here because I saw NOTHING in Raelyse's level 4 profile that would allow him to be faster and stronger than a vampire. It seemed a bit overpowered, ESPECIALLY since his posts only described him being stronger and faster than they were. Keep in mind that the (not-so) good prince is a bit on the handicapped side, so even when he's using the powers of Lechery and Perversion, he should still not be quite as agile as an average person, simply because he isn't used to maneuvering like a normal person.

Another thing that was irritating was how much building up there was to the large vampire coven and then how quickly the part with the dragon was wrapped up. Essentially, the fight with the main pack was inevitable once Eltarri was kidnapped, but once you guys actually introduced your main antagonist, he was kinda hollow and flat -- your generic necromancer, instead of an appreciable villain.

The reason this score isn't lower is because in her posts, Chiroptera kept a good sense of tension.

Again, this could have been a lot better. Some of the best action went to Stem, not combat-wise, but as pertaining to character. I felt like his actions helped me understand him more than I was able to stand Raelyse or Eltarri.

Persona: 7. I'm going to start with commentary for Chiroptera here. I loved how you introduced your character, she was very believable in her role, from passing out in the desert to her offense at Raelyse's insults, her gratitude to Stem, and her fear of the vampires. You're good with your character and how she reacts to various situations, and I'm looking forward to seeing where she goes next.

Raelyse, you know your character, that's obvious, but you can't assume that your reader does. I got the basic gist of your character, but I don't really feel like I know the Prince of Myrusia any better than I did at the beginning of the story.

I feel like I know Stem better than I know either Eltarri or Raelyse, though, and you guys did a good job of keeping him consistent. Also...your vampires felt like the Mr. Smith clones from the Matrix. Even when you gave them names, the only one that seemed unique was Kale, and only because you specifically mentioned that he could read and write.

Mechanics: 6. This was mostly good. I caught a couple of times where Chiroptera forgot to put a space between her sentences towards the end of the thread, but for the most part she was solid.

Raelyse, your mechanics aren't bad, but you have the occasional misplaced comma, misused word, a word dropped or added, and a notable case of misused apostophes.

"I'd say well met, Raelyse, but I seldom enjoy pitting my ego against your's,"

~ "yours" is the correct form, since "your" is the possessive pronoun. No apostrophe needed.

Most of your errors are things that a quick re-read would catch, and I'd advise that for both of you next time.

Technique: 7. The only thing that really sticks out to me as far as technique goes is a little alliteration, and a major use of suspense. Since the suspense was carried off well, I gave you an extra point.

Clarity: 6. I had to go back a few times and re-read what you were saying for both of you. Be aware of when you're trying to convey action. During the first encounter with vampires, it seemed that you were building up to a fight, and starting combat...and then it was over. That was jarring.

Also, Raelyse, a few of your sentences get bumpy. "Stamina matched only by their glistening white manes," for one. How does stamina compare to color? Another was "...every annal of the Prince's body." I don't know what you meant there.

Wild Card: 6. This quest has room for improvement, but overall I think you're both good writers, and have much yet to do with your characters.

My biggest complaint with the thread, other than the fact that it seemed kind of like the Stem show, was that it read almost like it was supposed to be a solo, but Raelyse didn't feel like writing one, so he asked Chiroptera to play the "damsel in distress."

Like I said in Action, Eltarri can step up. I realize her sword skills are defensive at this level, but she could have offered a lot more to the thread.


Total: 61! Congratulations!

Rewards:

Raelyse gets 2,900 EXP and his requested spoils, with the caveat to not overplay that light spell, lest it become boring, and when the rapier's enchantment is found out, it will have to be re-approved by the judge and the RoG staff.

Chiroptera gets 1825 EXP, 350 GP and her requested spoils.

[Letho]

EXP/GP added!