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kitsune
04-13-16, 12:18 AM
If you have a joke write it here

Why are frogs such happy animals?
Because they eat whatever bugs them!
Shinsou Vaan Osiris
04-13-16, 01:19 AM
Two men at a bar had been enjoying a few drinks for the past few hours and were pretty drunk when one of them notices a beautiful woman sitting in the corner.

One says to the other, "jeez, i'd really like to dance with that girl."

The other man replies, "well go ahead and ask her, don't be a chicken shit."

So the man approaches the lovely woman and says, "excuse me. would you be so kind as to dance with me?"

Seeing the man is totally drunk the woman says, "i'm sorry. right now i'm contemplating on matrimony, and I'd rather sit than dance."

So the man humbly returns to his friend "so what did she say?" asks the friend.

The drunk responded, "she said she's constipated on macaroni, and would rather shit in her pants."
Flamebird
04-13-16, 06:11 AM
Two guys walked into a bar and ordered drinks.

"I would like some H2O, please?" The first man said.

The second one agreed, "I would like some H2O too."

The second guy died.
kitsune
04-13-16, 08:16 AM
Why did the fish fail school?

Because grades where below sea level!
Storm Veritas
04-13-16, 09:11 AM
I've built ten bridges, but no one calls me bridge builder.
I've designed over 100 homes, yet no one calls me an architect.
I've written five books, and still, no one calls me an author.
But you suck one cock...
Shinsou Vaan Osiris
04-13-16, 10:47 AM
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
It was stapled to the first.
redford
04-13-16, 11:43 PM
So this guy walks into a bar with a chunk of concrete on his arm, and says, "One for me, and one for the road"





Descartes walks into a bar and sits down at the stool.

"Want a beer?" the bartender asks

"I think not," replies Descartes, and *POOF*, he disappears
Shinsou Vaan Osiris
04-14-16, 06:55 AM
So this guy walks into a bar with a chunk of concrete on his arm, and says, "One for me, and one for the road"



Descartes walks into a bar and sits down at the stool.

"Want a beer?" the bartender asks

"I think not," replies Descartes, and *POOF*, he disappears

:D
Breaker
04-14-16, 07:28 AM
What's brown and sticky?

A stick!
Bard
04-14-16, 03:55 PM
So a baby seal walks into a club.
Flamebird
04-14-16, 05:31 PM
What's brown and sticky?

A stick!


Please tell me you got that from VeggieTales?? VeggieTales is my childhood...
Tobias Stalt
04-14-16, 05:58 PM
I found Jesus yesterday.

He was in a garage near the border, waiting for the INS to stop searching.