Nuclear Rage
EXP: 64,948, Level: 10
Level completed: 99%,
EXP required for next Level: 52
It's been really hard writing Felicity's character flaws well. She's a "heroine" who has a morale code and wants to help the orphans and stuff. But all good characters have flaws. Felicity has flaws, yes, but I feel like I fail to portray them well.
Her involuntary PTSD break downs feel like a nuisance at this point, writing a break down at least once per thread... I want to portray the disorder right and don't want her recovering immediately, but remembering the external visible symptoms of her PTSD, the crying and stuff, is really hard and sometimes I feel like it blocks story progression. It's much easier writing her PTSD through the angle of her current actions being controlled by her past, her overprotective and clingy nature towards loved ones, etc. A vast majority of her big character moments these last several years have sadly been her break downs. Instead of being a proactive character, she cries a lot. Pathetic and annoying.
Even then, it's hard to write the negative character traits well. I think I got her anger right in threads like Breaking Down These Lonely Walls, but I fail to portray the anger correctly or even at all at times. Writing her being controlling and nasty in her rage is really hard, since I'm a big softie who shows anger by crying. Writing her desires to be respected and loved translating into her being willing to compromise her own morale code is also something I feel I fail at.
Last edited by Flamebird; 12-09-2020 at 09:29 PM.
"I can't be proud of anything. I am ashamed of everything."
"I gave my heart, my allegiance, all my energy for this and got nothing but ashes in return. What on earth did I do to deserve being chewed and spit out like this? Time and time again, it's all the same."
Felicity Playlist.
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