I awoke when the early morning sun hit my skin, warming it. Even though I were blind the light shone brightly through my closed lids. I groaned as I sat up.

“Tristain?”

The night before had not escaped me. When I didn't get a reply I felt blindly around the bed. Parts of it were still damp. Blood? My heart skipped a beat. Oh no. Oh no I had allowed myself to fall asleep when I was meant to be looking after him.

I wrinkled my nose. Something was burning. No...cooking? Wait… Was Tristain cooking? Did that mean he felt better? I sat at the edge of the bed with my hand over my chest feeling my erratic heart. I needed to stop freaking out over the smallest of things.

I knew it was foolish but I could not help myself. Everything was different and I knew nothing. I hated it and I hated myself. But.. I pushed those feelings down. Just like I did every other morning.

I couldn't focus on my own selfish thoughts. I needed to check on Tristain. He was my friend and I may have failed him.

I pushed myself off the bed and made my way into the loungeroom. “Tristain?”

“Aynur. You are awake.” His voice still sounded a bit strained, as he called back to me, but it did sound - steadier. Not as weak. “Do you feel comfortable with placing plates and silverware at the table?” And he was back to talking formally.

I stilled, placing a hand on the back of my familiar chair. I wasn't. I wasn't at all comfortable with it. I wanted to curl up into a ball and…

No… No… DeEp breaths. Deep breaths.

“yeh.” I tried to sound confident but my voice came out quiet and unsure. I grit my teeth and continued forward toward the kitchen.

“Thank you. And - thank you for last night. You.. Likely saved me.” The second part of this was very quiet. “I am.. Sorry I put you through that.”

Plates were in the first cupboard.. I pulled tjen out and turned to the table. It was three steps away from the cupboard.

One…

Two…

Three…

“Oof!” The plates clattered as I bumped against the table. I clumsily put them down and sighed. “You scared me. You made me realize I don't… I
I enjoy your company and don't want you to leave.”

I shuffled around the table till I hit a chair. “But I know that is a reality I have to face one day.” I said as I pulled out the chair and sat in it. I didn't feel confident enough to get the cutlery and I knew he'd understand. There was a silence from the place he was cooking, and by now I knew it meant he was thinking about what he wanted to say - my friend was usually very deliberate about his choice of words. Probably because he didn't like using them.

I heard the drawer where the cutlery was open - the soft jangle of metal giving away which one it was - then footsteps. I felt him beside me, that same solid warmth that had lulled me to sleep last night, and knew he was leaning over me to - yes, there was the clink as he set the fork down. The smell of eggs greeted me as he leaned forward again, setting the food onto the plate directly from the pan - and then he was gone, moving away to his side of the table.

“I suppose. That day though, will only come when you are ready for it. I - am quite happy to have you with me, and have no desire to change that.” His words were slow and steady as he spoke, his voice soft.

I felt him press a fork into my hand. I carefully slid it over to my plate to scoop up the meal. I didn't have the words to tell him that wasn't what I meant. He was spending his hard earned coin on this place. On me. And what had I done this past week? Nothing. He wanted to make a name for himself. He couldn't do that sitting here babysitting me.

I lifted my head to where I thought he sat, and offered him a warm smile. “are… You feeling better? You look… Ererr… Sound better.”

“I am.. In one piece. Sore, and I likely need to change my bandage again. Aynur.” His voice became sterner for a moment. “Aynur. I needed you last night. Without your help, I am almost certain I would have died. You helped me. Do not doubt that.” A sigh. “Please, do not doubt that. I was… Afraid you were gone. And relieved when you were still here. Not just because of my injury.” I almost missed his last words, mumbled under his breath.

I ate in silence. It was easier to concentrate on my meal with him talking to me, setting me at ease. “Where would I go? The streets are my home, and you are my friend. I wouldn't leave you.” I set the fork down on the empty plate and pushed it away from me so I would not knock it down accidently.

What more was there to say? How should I cheer him up? “Oh!” I blinked in realization. “I am making you something. It's almost finished. Did you want to see?”

“I… Yes, please.”