Kindred Folk - Velvet Wings

[FennWenn]

A soupy storm of white whipped through the forest, cracking wood and withering lush leaves with its intensity. At its center were the two Fenns.

Well, specifically, one of the two Fenns.

Seething incoherently, Fenn — his main sense of self — paced, harsh patterns of frost trailing after his every step. It was difficult to articulate just what he was feeling; there was a lot going on at once. His chest was tight with a stammer of panic, his eyes narrow with anger. Confusion stirred him into frantic motion. Kill? The other him? How? Why? What was even going on here?

Just as placid as before, Mortality watched him rage. “I wondered if this would happen. Maybe I should have phrased that better.”

<Well fucking duh!> Fenn screeched, whirling around to face his other self. His projected voice shook the fabric of the dream. Massive crystals of ice shot up from the ground around him, tearing apart several trees; probably his fault. He was too caught up in his flurry to even turn and stare. <You can’t meet me all of a sudden for the first time out of nowhere and tell me I gotta kill you. Can’t say that you wanna die and act like that’s not a big thing! That’s not okay! That’s really not okay if you’re also kind of a part of me! That’s weird, and creepy, and it freaks me->

“Aaand I’m going to stop you right there. Calm yourself. Before you start off on some tangent about how we should be all perfectly fine — fuck, we’re good at tangents — don’t try to rationalize me off as needing to be some happy, useful bit of your brain. You’re the happy (mostly) useful part of the brain. I’m the bit we quash down because you can’t seem to deal with shit in healthy ways. You can’t deal with the couple of times you’ve almost lost Daugi, you can’t deal with the fucked up monsters you’ve met, you can’t deal with helping Banrion kill Morrighna in cold blood, and you can’t deal with Amari’s betrayal. Right?” Mortality chimed.

<Yeah, but, I wouldn’t’ve guessed a part of me was suicidal though,> he whispered back between agitated hiccoughing. <That’s pretty depressing.>

“I am depressing! That’s why I’m asking for this.” The other him groaned and slumped back, covering his face with his hands. “Everything I’m squashing back — it just keeps coming back to the surface! It’s starting to get unhealthy. Not just for me. For you you. You’re on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Hell, we’re in the middle of one right now. You were musing about loneliness and death not two minutes from passing out!”

Fenn took a deep breath, hands clenched into fists at his side. The storm about him tightened. <But I didn’t want to die. See? I was just sad and sick and all by myself, so I worried about dying! Different.>

Mortality only shook his head.

“That is still not normal for us. Normal for us used to be pretending we weren’t ill so we could go be an idiot and climb the castle’s turrets mid-tornado to see the storm for ourselves. Or something equally ridiculous, just because we could. Do you remember that? I do. It’s my job to remember things.”

What was he supposed to say to that? There wasn’t an easy answer. Still gasping back sobs of panic, Fenn lowered his hands, forcing them to unclench. The blizzard’s breath, the snowflakes and hail chinks raining down around them lightened into nothingness. The entire forest was as pale as a fresh sheet of paper. Slowly, Mortality eased himself off of his branch and fell to the ground — slowly, as if he were sinking through molasses. When he touched down on the frozen earth his feet were muted by the snow. He held out his hand, a gesture made ponderous under the weight of his chains.

“Come on. Come with me. I want a change of scenery. A better place to conclude our business. A better place to help you understand what we need.”