Hey Flame, sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you. Here is some commentary that I hope helps, in Stare.

Okay things I think work really well;

You definitely construct character excellently, and portray your main persons strongly. Each have their own defined personality traits. The names are also great and you can feel some of them. More writing and conversations between your mains will develop them further.

Your action sequences are written really well and clearly. I think they have defined purpose to them, which you know we like on Althanas, but they also are working well in the novel. I would love to read more of this, in order and with chapters to see how the actions build to larger ones. I can imagine that you build plot like this, with consequences and so on.

I LOVE this bit: "Summer was ending, and autumn was rolling in with cold dread."

Things that could do with some work:

I think your language at times could do with less colloquialisms, more defining for a novel. For instance, using the following - "As crummy as she felt" - can be said in a more creative, provoking way.

Plot is sometimes very fast to jump to a sudden climax. I think in these parts you can put in more detail, try things like describe more of what is felt, seen, heard etc. What are the reactions around those who are witnessing it?

Now to answer those questions:

I do feel like the Clandestine chapter is missing immersion and details. Any tips on improvement?

Is this all there is for this? You could definitely develop it and add depths, such as a development of the story.

Also, I personally don't do anything cussing, so I need others ways to make jerk characters jerks since I just don't use cussing. :P

Make up your own swears.

Is the racist jerk racist enough? How do I make the racist guy more racist? Dangerous? And gosh does Clandestine's dialogue feel cheesy...

I can tell he is racist, definitely. The whole synthetic vs human thing is developed and is strong. Adding some depth and further dialogue to this entire chapter will I think maybe it clearer.

And how OP does Wasureta feel? He's purposely meant to be, so...

Not too much tbh. I think he is balanced.

Check our your capitals on some part.