[Solo] Pains of the Past...

[Nosdyn]

(Chapter 6 of the Nosdyn Chronology. Takes place a few months after: Cycle Completed is part of an ongoing series. For whoever of you guys whose reading my shit, thank you! Note: Forgot to add this note here but this thread WILL contain some erotic content. I'll try not to go too overboard with it.)

Xyllea looked at her husband. She had become the teacher at that point, and he'd finally agreed to begin the lessons of the Psionic arts. "Again." She'd remembered exactly how she was taught, and she would instruct him the same way, she knew she would not have to hold back with him. He could take anything she could dish out.

They'd been at this for days. He'd learned some basic rudimentary teachings of her Psionic arts entirely on his own. But Xyllea knew he still acted entirely on impulse. He could not yet control his power. She'd meant what she told him once...he had more skill than some of her former Guild's scholars ever had.

"There's something I'm still not understanding." Nosdyn was getting frustrated, he was putting in the effort...but something was not connecting.

"Some of the most skilled Practitioners don't get to their levels immediately either." Xyllea said. But she could sense his efforts, they'd gone for days straight, a break was well earned at that point. Just then, a thought occurred to Xyllea. "We should stop for today, Nosdyn." She said calmly. "I think I am understanding why you are holding back."

He sat down on the ground at that point, spent, he was catching his breath. The Psionic arts...hurt his head at some points. Maybe it was cause of all of the recent traumas he'd been through. He caught his breath at that point. Nosdyn looked up at his wife. "What do you think is holding me back?"

She helped him stand at that point. "This will not be easy for you to hear...but I think it's Illsandra. Her...memory has scarred your heart. You won't ever be able to fully embrace the arts until you fully heal." Xyllea was being honest about that, the teachings were harsh and required full immersion.

Nosdyn thought about what he was hearing, given how far he'd come at that point...he looked at Xyllea and nodded. "I...I don't know how to heal Xyllea...I don't know if I ever can." He was telling her the truth.

Xyllea considered her husband's plight at that point and thought of something just then. "There may be a way." She said calmly.

Nosdyn nodded. "I'm willing to do anything I can." Nosdyn meant that, he was trying to heal to the best of his capacity.

[Nosdyn]

Later that day...

Nosdyn stood in front of his wife at that point in their bedroom. "You're absolutely certain?" He asked.

She nodded. "I have connections in the Lloth Priesthood." She said calmly. "The rite...I think it may be the only way for us to move forward."

Nosdyn considered what he was hearing. "And you're certain it would be okay for me to do this?" He was only hesitant because of the blood in his body.

She placed her hand on the side of his face. "You're one of us now. You underwent the rites of passage and are now for all intents and purposes a Dark Elf. The rest would be up to you and Lloth." She explained.

Nosdyn considered. "I agree to this. Whenever the rites are prepared and things are ready to proceed forward, I will do what is necessary."

Xyllea admired the courage of her husband. He had so profoundly accepted the ways of the Dark Elf society. "Just like Lancaster helped you so long ago...this will take some time to prepare." She said.

Nosdyn understood. He was patient, always had been in his own way. "I hope that this will work...I want to try to heal for your sake and our son's sake too."

She kept her hand on his face at that point, feeling his warmth. "Nosdyn...you've come so far. I will start this process for us right away." She said.

[Nosdyn]

A few days later...

Xyllea stood before the Priest who had been her family's contact for many generations. She looked at him with profound respect.

"Ah...Xyllea...what can I do for you?" He said calmly.

"I have a dilemma and I needed to consult with you about first." She would have no need to hold back, she knew Lloth priesthood folks were trustworthy.

"Tell me all about it." He said carefully.

"My Husband...has been through many recent traumas for all of our sake." She considered how to word the next part of it. "He was with Illsandra when I first met him." There was a pained expression on her face at that point.

He raised his eyebrow. "She took her own life, the one you speak of?" He had a deep recollection of many of the people connected to The Lloth priesthood.

Xyllea nodded. "It affected my husband...he was present when it happened."

The Priest carefully considered what he was hearing. "Your Husband is the one who was represented by Lancaster correct? The...Haidian?" There was no malice in his voice...he was just stating the facts.

Xyllea nodded once more. "He has completely accepted our people's ways."

The Priest considered at that point. "You want him to undergo rite of Purification do you not?" He was a very wise and old Priest, and had a considerable knowledge of how things went in Ettermire.

"Yes. For his sake and my own." Xyllea said. "He's willing to completely submit to the rite."

The Priest stood up at that point and walked over towards Xyllea. "I think...because it is you asking and because he was represented by Lancaster himself...this will be a very interesting union for our people."

Xyllea knew, The Priest would have seen this exactly as Illsandra and Xyllea herself would have. Nosdyn represented hope for their two great people. "Then you are going to give me approval for the Rite?" She asked.

"Of course...you must be his support though. Lloth may pass harsh judgment on him." The Priest said honestly.

***

Nosdyn was playing with his son at that point. He'd noticed it from the moment the little one was born...there was a fierce intellect there. He was speaking to the little one in perfect Haidian tongue...and the child seemed to understand what he was saying. A short while later, Xyllea returned. Nosdyn looked up at his wife. "How did it go?"

"We were approved for the rite of purification. I have to be your support." She told Nosdyn.

[Nosdyn]

The day of the Rite of Purification...

Xyllea had instructed him on everything the right would entail. For a brief period, he would be submerged in a pool of very special water. The liquid would serve as the conduit between their world and Lloth's realm. Nosdyn was not afraid.

He was dressed in the ceremonial attire he was required to wear for the rite. Xyllea would be present the entire time. The followers of Lloth explained to him what he should expect...but he was not worried. After the time he'd encountered N'Jal herself...he was certain Lloth would not be as bad. The Lloth practitioners had surrounded Nosdyn as he went into the pool. He would have to completely submit to the rite for it to work.

They laid down Nosdyn completely flat against the water's surface. He was not afraid. Slowly, the submerged him the water...

***

Sometime later, he awoke in a different plane of existence. As he was told, the plane was a higher dimension. Nosdyn looked around for a moment. He didn't feel fear or malice, as he had when he encountered N'Jal. He only felt an almost erotic curiosity of him. There was a voice in the wind. Nosdyn was not afraid, the voices were guiding him to Lloth's location.

He followed the voices instruction and found a small temple atop a hill. He looked at it, Lloth was there. He saw a beautiful Dark Elf woman. She motioned for him to approach. He did so. He didn't have any need to feel fear. He looked at her with a curiosity. He watched Lloth step to the side for a moment and there was another presence there..."Illsandra." Nosdyn said her name.

Lloth spoke into Nosdyn's mind at that point. "That is the one etched on your heart. N'Jal herself told you this, did she not?"

He nodded at that point the gods were able to see Mortals in a completely different way. "She took her life in front of me." Nosdyn told Lloth the truth.

"You never knew why. The real why of it." Lloth said quietly.

Nosdyn nodded. "I only knew the partial truth...she could never carry my children."

"Nosdyn, my child." She suddenly said in a very calm voice...there was never any malice in Lloth's way of speaking. "N'Jal herself made your wife barren."

For some reason, that notion never once dawned him. He sighed. But he continued to listen to Lloth. "That part of it I did not know."

Lloth motioned to Illsandra at that point. "Speak to him, my child."

Illsandra walked over to Nosdyn at that point. "We were lied to by N'Jal." Illsandra said. "She tricked you because she was afraid of you."

Nosdyn carefully considered what he was hearing. "For what it's worth...I'm sorry I didn't see things sooner. Maybe I could have saved you."

"You don't have to carry the guilt in your heart anymore, Nosdyn. Tell Xyllea thank you for how she has taken care of you since then." Illsandra said.

"I don't ever want to forget you." Nosdyn said. "But I want to heal. For the sake of Xyllea and our son."

"I will always be close to you, Nosdyn." She said. "Lloth will help you heal."

Nosdyn nodded. "What do I have to do?"

***

Nosdyn woke up a short time later, the rite having been completed. He felt a heavy heart at that point...but was at peace. Maybe...if I'd seen the signs sooner she would at least still be alive. Nosdyn was laying in a bed in a recovery chamber, Xyllea was present. "Illsandra told me to thank you." Nosdyn said calmly to her.

Xyllea raised an eyebrow at that point at her husband but did not question it. The rite had been a success and Lloth had accepted her husband.

[Nosdyn]

Nosdyn was awake at that point and dressed. He looked at Xyllea after a moment. "I think...I think things are going to be okay." He told her very calmly...for the first time since Illsandra's death...he felt actually at peace with himself.

Xyllea was quiet...since the rite had been completed she'd not said a word.

Nosdyn noticed that but did not want to intrude on her personal thoughts. They walked back quietly towards The Safe House. When they arrived, Nosdyn noticed the stranger there waiting for them. A Dark Elf. This one, Nosdyn never saw before.

Xyllea approached the man. The man handed Xyllea a small parcel, nodded and walked off quietly. Xyllea waited there for her husband.

Nosdyn was a little confused...but again, he did not want to pry he did not want to be intrusive. "A parcel..." Nosdyn said calmly.

Xyllea nodded calmly. "Forgive me." She said opened the package and suddenly attacked Nosdyn.

He was knocked completely out shortly there after.

[Nosdyn]

When Nosdyn came to...

He was in a chamber he had no knowledge of...Xyllea was there with a sad look on her face. "You'd come so far." She said when Nosdyn awoke.

"...What is happening?" Nosdyn was confused, he didn't understand what was going on.

"I was ordered to have you killed." Xyllea explained. "The Lloth Priesthood ordered. They exchanged the safety of our son for your death."

Nosdyn sat up at that point. "So...this was your intent?" Nosdyn could not believe what he was hearing. "This entire time, I trusted you...you helped me heal...I trusted you!" Nosdyn didn't know what to do...he knew betrayal, he knew anguish. Nosdyn sighed at that point. "I am not going to fight back." He said at that point. "You MADE me accept your people and your culture...and this is what you will do in the end? Do it. Kill me I have no reason to live."

Xyllea kept her eyes on him at that point, there was a sadness there. "I am sorry."

Nosdyn looked at her calmly. "As am I." Nosdyn sat there in defeat at that point.

[Nosdyn]

Sometime later...

He lost track of time at that point. He wasn't even sure how long he'd been in there for. Xyllea stopped coming after the last time they talked...he didn't really want to see her anyway. He thought about everything that had transpired. I've been such an idiot. He thought to himself. To think they would ever accept ME...a Son of the Tular Plains... He thought back to another time. When he realized he'd been becoming to reactive at that point. Maybe it's for the best if I died. He cried at that point. It somehow seemed a good thing to do. I don't know what to do...how have things gone so wrong...

He was bound by chains so he had very little mobility anyway. Father...I don't know if you can hear me...but I am sorry. I have failed us. He just sat there crying for a time until he became entirely numb. His people, would always have a cursed existence. Xyllea...I trusted you...

***

One day...

He was taken before a group of Dark Elfs he never saw before. Xyllea was not present, at least to his knowledge she was not. He figured he knew what this was going to be...a mock trial. Father...I have failed us. He thought to himself.

A Speaker charged him with a bunch of crimes...stuff he had never even had any knowledge of. "How do you plead, Demon?" The Judge asked.

"I plead fuck off." Nosdyn said to them and sighed.

The Judge raised his eyebrow. "Do you jest?"

"You fucking guys really don't get this do you? If you're going to kill me just do it...respect's already been thrown out the window at this point anyway." Nosdyn was angry at that point. He was trying really hard to avoid fighting back as long as he could...there was no reason to fight.

[Nosdyn]

He'd been put back in the cell at that point a few hours earlier...back in bondage and chains. He still didn't understand what was happening, or why any of this was going on. He sighed. A short while later the cell door opened and he was surprised by what he saw next. He looked away from him for the first time since he ever met Lancaster's son. "So they sent you to finish the job? Come to put the dagger in my heart yourself, huh? Do your worst." He looked away, he couldn't bring himself to fight back against these people anyway.

Llukai Lancaster saw his Uncle, completely defeated at that point...it pained his heart knowing the full truth of what happened. He knew Nosdyn might never forgive any of them, and he'd be well in his right. Llukai stood in front of his uncle and put his hands on the side of the man's face. One final act, of courage and friendship he would allow himself for the Demon. "Uncle." He began. "Listen to me, I am here to get you out of here. Xyllea did this to save your son, there was a Writ put on your head." Llukai was trying to explain what had gone so horribly wrong. "The Safe House is gone, Uncle. They killed anyone there who was present. Please show me that you understand what I am telling you."

Nosdyn nodded to the boy but remained silent.

At that point, Llukai undid Nosdyn's bonds. "I am going to get you out of Ettermire." Llukai said. As one final show of good faith, Llukai handed Nosdyn his weapon back. "Here you will going to need your weapon back." Llukai said calmly.

***

They escaped the prison or whatever that Hell was out of a service exit. Llukai explained to him everything that had happened, why he had been so utterly betrayed.

Nosdyn only listened at that point, he was too cold and numb to respond anyway by the point they reached the Ettermire Gates. They would have had to use a side exit anyway. Llukai guided Nosdyn outside of Ettermire at that point, outside of the city...there was no more need for pretense.

His exile had been completed.

For the first time, Llukai would address him simply as Nosdyn. "Nosdyn, stay off the main roads. They will be looking for you. You can't ever return to Ettermire. And for what it's worth...I'm sorry." Llukai turned around and walked somberly back towards Ettermire.

He took one last look at Ettermire. Twice since he'd arrived there...he'd been completely rejected by Dark Elf women. The second time..Xyllea stole his son from him. Strangely, he felt no malice for any of it. There was a peace in his heart...an acceptance. He knew he was always going to be at odds with Mortals. Rejected by The Dark Elfs he once called his own family, he raised his hood and walked off into the night, alone. Maybe that would always have been for the best. He took Llukai's final advice and walked off in a direction away from the main road...

***

Later that night...

He sat by a tree. He was too scared to draw attention to himself so he didn't bother with a campfire. Exiled.. The realization hit him hard, like a ton of bricks. For the second time in his life...he'd been exiled. Where did I go so wrong, Father? Nosdyn thought to himself. But he knew, he was alone at that point...his Father would never again appear before him. He was too confused, too broken at that point to completely understand what had happened. The one part of it he did know...he was always going to be at odds with all mortal races. He gave up all hope days earlier. Just then, on the brink of complete desperation...an all too familiar voice called out to him.

Called his name from the darkness.

Nosdyn... The voice was a woman...he knew that voice by that time of his life. He knew who it was that called him. He stood up at that point, trying to discern the direction he heard her call from.

I hear you... Nosdyn thought back to the owner of the voice.

Nosdyn...Son of Tharak...come to me. I will give you what you seek. The voice called, there was no malice in the voice...only a strangely sort of empathic understanding.

Show me how to find you. Nosdyn responded to her...maybe it was an act of desperation or something else...but at that point, he accepted the mortal world had rejected him completely.

It was actually much easier than Nosdyn actually though it would have been. Impulses, desires...something else perhaps...but the voice guided Nosdyn to a hidden network of caves well away from the main road...nobody would ever find him there. Unafraid, he walked into the cave. He somehow knew what he was going to find in there...he was not afraid.

What he saw in the depths of the cave surprised him. A group of all female Undead were there...he'd never seen such a thing. The Priestess looked at Nosdyn, nodding with profound respect to him. She motioned behind herself...

"N'Jal." Nosdyn said to her, she was there in the cave...physically there. By that point in his life he no longer felt fear for her...only a profound respect for his former adversary.

"Show them your loyalty to me. Nosdyn Son of Tharak. Show them the kiss my Priestess from Corone gave you." N'Jal said calmly.

It was a simple thing, he really didn't mind it either. If this was where he belonged...he accepted it. The mortal world had rejected him by then. Xyllea herself, stole her son from him. The Undead women watched him carefully, The Priestess had a lust in her eyes...a lust that was uncharacteristic of Undead. But Nosdyn did not mind it all, he never was repulsed by the children of N'Jal. He removed his cloak in front of them and vest, placing both on the ground. The Priestess saw it immediately. No questions would ever be asked, they simply accepted him because of the one who had bitten him.

N'Jal was standing in front of him at that point, in her physical form. She looked at him. "What do you desire?" She asked, it was a simple question.

Nosdyn nodded. "A place to call home...a place to belong. The world of Mortals have rejected me. Me and you...we're not so different."

N'Jal spoke again. "What would you give in exchange?"

"Anything." Nosdyn responded without hesitation...by that point nothing mattered anymore. He'd been so completely betrayed by Xyllea he had no more ties to his humanity anyway.

In a profound sort of way, N'Jal kissed Nosdyn deeply right then. "I want you to become my Champion. Like it was always meant to be." She said calmly, such a simple request to ask.

Nosdyn thought about that for a moment. "What would be required of me?" The Dark Elf's and indeed, mortal races of the surface dwellers as a whole had completed rejected Nosdyn. He'd always be an exile.

"Your love...and a bit of something else. These women...I made for you Nosdyn. You will give them your seed. Night after night, you will fill them. When the time comes, you will understand the purpose of this all. But for now....I want you to make love to me." N'Jal said.

Since it was her...at that point his only ally asking that of him, he would not say no to her. He would never say no to her...or any of the women that were made for him. Without even thinking on it, he removed his pants and showed her his Demon's physique. He'd always been well toned.

N'Jal admired her Demon. She kissed him deeply, and they did indeed partake of each other that night...hours into the night. He would fill N'Jal's womb with his seed over and over. To show her that he had completely accepted becoming her Champion.

Maybe...because Xyllea had so completely rejected him...maybe that was where he belonged. By N'Jal's side.

After the first month...he no longer thought about Illsandra or Xyllea anymore...N'Jal filled the void in his heart.

[Nosdyn]

Many months later...

Nosdyn awoke that morning. N'Jal, as she had promised had been there the entire time for him. He would do the same for his Master. He needed a bit of a walk that morning. He kissed N'Jal's forehead, he'd worn her out that previous night...he took that as a compliment. He stepped outside, the morning air felt cool and fresh against him. He thought about everything that had transpired, what hell's he'd gone through.

Just then...nearby, there was a cry for help.

Nosdyn acted entirely on impulse at that point. He moved towards where he heard the call, a group of bandits were attacking a lone Dark Elf woman. Without hesitation, and with the finely tuned combat proficiency of his people..he took the bandits down with his bare hands. He did not kill any of them...he merely defeated them. It was enough, they took off running in cowardice. Nosdyn was standing there, catching his breath.

The Dark Elf woman looked at Nosdyn, she walked over towards him and was going to attempt to touch him, thinking she had the right. "Stay back." Nosdyn suddenly yelled at her.

"My Lord?" She asked of him. "I just want to repay for your kindness."

Suddenly, that did something to Nosdyn's head. He saw a flash to the day he risked death to save Xyllea. "I don't need any rewards for doing the right thing." Nosdyn said truthfully.

She calmly looked at his face, at his eyes. "Let me in..." She said.

More flashes in his mind. At that point, he'd finally understood what N'Jal had been teaching him that whole time. He looked at her with a very serious expression on his face. "I let two of your kind in my life. One killed herself in front of me, the other stole my son." He looked away from her at that point. "I will never allow anyone in again. N'Jal is all I need." He said, and perhaps sounded a bit harsher than he meant to. At that point, he completely saw what N'Jal had been teaching him the entire time. The woman had a look of complete rejection on her face.

"If that is your wish My Lord." She said calmly.

"Go home, and forget everything you saw here." Nosdyn replaced his hood on his head and walked away from her, returning to where he belonged.

***

Nosdyn sat down next to N'Jal, his Master at that point. He looked at her with profound respect. "You were right...I see now how they are."

N'Jal touched his face gently. "I watched you very closely. You see now how those harlots are." She paused at that point. "What you did was very brave. You have the courage now to reject them."

He looked at his Master. "I said to her the truth. You were all I need." Without thinking, he kissed his Master deeply.

[Nosdyn]

That night...

Nosdyn listened to the teachings of N'Jal. The Priestess was giving instruction there, and N'Jal was there in front of him as she always would be. It had gone on like that, every night since he'd become a member of the Cult of N'Jal. He'd been learning her teachings, the way they did things...what he needed to take care of The Undead that belonged to him. He knelt before N'Jal and Priestess as the other acolytes had too, the other women that belonged to him.

After that night's lessons...Nosdyn opened his eyes to see N'Jal standing before him.

She touched the side of his face gently.

it soothed him. "What do you command, my master?" Nosdyn asked of her...by that time he was one of her most devout acolytes.

N'Jal spoke. "In a few weeks...there is going to be an event that takes place outside of our temple here. That event will cascade into other events." N'Jal said calmly. "I am going to prepare you to the best of my capacity. You have been well trained. Events are already moving in Ettermire."

"What would you have me do?" Nosdyn asked of his Master.

"When you intervene on that event...do not take any offers they give you. You are my Champion now and always." N'Jal said calmly.

Nosdyn nodded. "It shall be so, this I swear."

"When you fight in that battle...you will wear my symbols on your armor. And they will fear you." N'Jal promised.

***

The Priestess shared the bed with him by that time with N'Jal as well. But N'Jal had another matter to take care of that night. "My Lord." The Priestess said calmly. "What troubles you?"

Nosdyn nodded to her. "The Woman...the one I saved today. Something did not sit well with me. They were too far off the main road for it to have been a coincidence." Nosdyn had always had a military mind...he understood there was always a purpose in such things.

He took his Priestess that night, as he'd promised N'Jal he would. He'd filled her with his seed more than once. She never once complained about any of it, she simply pleased N'Jal Champion.