I'm a Fun Guy, I Promise! (Closed to Flamebird)

[Rehtul Orlouge]

So that's what this is all about... She doesn't trust herself. Figured as much, Rehtul thought as he listened to her. She had friends at least, that much was certain. As asinine as it might have been, Rehtul kind of envied her that. Every friend he'd ever made seemed to have disappeared or died, and his family was certainly no replacement for the genuine connections he had made. He allowed for a slight concession with his grandparents, who seemed perfectly fine with the way he was and didn't judge him harshly for his own harsh judgment of most of the family.

"Felicity..." he started, holding out a hand before stopping himself. He stared at his open palm and curled it into a fist before forcing his arm back to his side. He sighed and looked at her with an apprehensive look.

"Honestly, I can hardly blame you for being unsure of yourself, untrusting of your ability to make the right decisions. All of us feel that way at least part of the time. What you have is a unique power, a combination of curse and blessing, one that I have no experience with how to deal with outside of what we just went through together... However, what you become is no worse in my eyes than the transformation performed by those dwarven berserker types. Certainly they have more control over when they enter that change, but the end effect isn't much different."

He turned back toward the window and thought about what he was going to say for a few moments.

"Though, that's not where the source of this issue seems to be coming from. You seem to have many regrets, things you wish you'd done differently. I can understand that, but there is a problem with that way of thinking," the young mage said as he turned to meet the eyes of the younger woman with deathly seriousness.

"If you did make those choices the way you wish you'd had, none of the bad things that you regret happening would have happened. However, you'd also be missing out on most of the good that's come out of it too. The people you've met along the way that have befriended you, the fleeting experiences of joy and laughter, and most importantly, the lessons you learned from making those mistakes. If you make the right choice the first time based on pure chance, there's no guarantee you wouldn't just end up making the same mistake further down the road, at a more critical juncture that could cost you or someone else something far more dear than you had lost on this path."

Rehtul got up to his feet and shakily made his way toward Felicity.

"You make the choices you feel you have to with the information you have. You make a mistake? You either fix it or barring that make it concrete in your mind that you'll never repeat that mistake again."

He looked at the mirror upon the table, one he recognized as it had been he who made it, years past.

"What you see reflected in the surface of that is a half truth. You're much more than what you see simply in your reflection. It doesn't show you the people who care about you or the potential you have to be more than you are. I was young and stupid myself when we first met, but there is one thing I saw in you then that I still see in you now."

Rehtul grabbed a small goblet of water from the table and took a few gulps.

"Underneath all the shit you've been put through your entire life, you still care about people. You're still willing to be kind where you can afford to be... With everything that's been going on in the world, that's a rare and valuable trait. Just be vigilant so that people can't take advantage of your better nature."

Another swallow of water passed through his lips with an audible gulp.

"As for your past? It shapes who you are now and nothing can be done to change it. How it shapes you from here on out is a decision you can only make starting now. I'd focus on that part if I were you. Learning from the past is fine. Living in it is the height of foolishness."