March Vignette

[Tyr]

March Prompt

- write on the theme of New Beginnings. This could be something new in your character's life or something simple like a new day.



Flamebird

Use of topic- There really isn't much to draw from other than you certainly followed the prompt, but the event was a bit dry for me. Although that could have been the intent. I feel that you could of injected more substance into this prompt to give it more flare and depth. I'll touch on base some with what I mean under Creativity. I did enjoy the way you went with such a big day in Felicity's life and the layout you went with. I certainly like writers putting a unique spin on the prompts and some structure was that.

Creativity- What I enjoyed most about your entry is the way you used subtext in such a way to be short bursts of emotion that punched through the actual event, then using it to divide an otherwise drab story. Touching base on what I was saying under "Use of Topic" with substance, it is mostly with the scene and some background depth to the story that readers may not know about that certain event. With setting the scene, there's little there to send the imagination of the reader to soar to paint a picture. A certain balance to keep in mind with setting the scene: you don't want to provide too much information to where it makes the imagination of the reader irrelevant, but you want to provide just enough information that it sets up the readers imagination to paint the picture.

Mechanics- There isn't much to point out in this area worth mentioning.


Katya Violetta

Use of topic- You did well on following the prompt, but I feel a little more could of been put into it to fulfill what was being portrayed in this entry. I couldn't help wanting to know a little bit more surrounding the father! Using a traumatic experience and sliding into a new beginning with wonder was a good way to go and you did a good job. You touched base on other elements I wanted to see also.

Creativity- I enjoyed the flow of the creative mind with how you spin some descriptors to help paint a picture in this scene. You sprinkled in just enough about the surroundings and characters to where I had no trouble following what was going on, but there was an instance like "humongous, elaborate church window" that tended to be overkill disrupting the flow of this entry. "Humongous" could of been axed, as the reader would have filled in the blanks with just giving them "elaborate church window".

Mechanics- I can't really harp on much in this area except with a few commas dumped into this piece. Some of them could've been removed to promote smoother transition and pacing.


Celandine

Use of topic- The slice of life being portrayed here did target the prompt and followed through, giving this piece a light and colorful feel with how it was written. There honestly wasn't many spots that pushed my attention away from following on to the end, nor leaving me wondering where the topic may be injected. Learning a few things about the lives of Philomel and Celandine was quite refreshing. Providing what I most enjoyed about the play on the prompt.

Creativity- One thing I wanted to see from the creative mind of the writers with this Vignette was I wanted to see some personality, not only from the character the spotlight was on, but with the surroundings around that character as well. You did touch base on this and I could read the personality of the writer in the words. A new beginning or new day, be it good or bad, there is supposed to be some emotion involved. The movie playing out in my mind throughout this entry had no problem painting the picture with the words that were chosen, but there were some hang ups here and there that jumbled up the course.

Mechanics- A couple misspellings and some punctuation mistakes disrupted the pacing and the flow of the storytelling in small ways. Repeating some description led into little over telling in places that felt a bit much. These things could've been easily rectified by a read through and edits.


Cards of Fate

Use of topic- Well, you certainly had quite a unique way of taking the prompt and spinning it to make it your own. It was a fun read and I enjoyed the elements used, including touching base on what I wanted to see from the writers with the topic. If it wasn't for the fact it was beyond the length for a typical Vignette, you did a good job here.

Creativity- Definitely a strong area for the story with how went about laying it out. I was entertained throughout this piece with how you went about weaving in elements from not only Earth, but then emerging into a new beginning in a different yet familiar reality back in Althanas. You did well keeping the two different with clues like titles and also the comedy mixed in was great. The only thing that dragged the entry down was the shear length with spots added in that felt unnecessary to the effectiveness of the story.

Mechanics- I did pick up on a typo and some punctuation mistakes sprinkled within that led into some run-on sentences that disrupted the flow.


Saz Eristrad

Use of topic- You also come forward with a unique way of making the prompt your own. I enjoyed how you went with a more cryptic interpretation by using life and death as a new beginning or new day as nobody else had. It also touched base on other elements I was quite pleased with. One thing I enjoy is making folks think with storytelling in such a way you had.

Creativity- Definitely a strong point with what was written. There was a certain elegance that drove this piece with the prompt in tow to a higher level that I was impressed with. Use of vocabulary in a way not only to paint a vivid picture with just enough detail, but to draw in the reader to experience what the character was going through was well done to me. I certainly felt emotion and was drawn in to carry through to the end.

Mechanics- I didn't pick up on many mistakes, but I will say there were some commas in places that needn't be there with how written. For example: "He slid along the edge and lowered himself to the floor, until he was on his knees in his own vitae."


I enjoyed reading all of these entries! One thing I love about Vignettes is the vast variety of writers that go about things in different ways. I know this Vignette closed after the 15th of March for the ending of Althanas Festival double rewards but I'm giving them anyway. It's difficult to choose whom wins places when so close sometimes. 2nd was that.



1st place: Saz Eristrad
2nd place: Katya Violetta


Saz Eristrad receives:

400 EXP
400 GP


Katya Violetta receives:

320 EXP
300 GP


Celandine receives:

300 EXP


Flamebird receives:

1100 EXP


Cards of Fate receives:

1200 EXP


Congratulations to Saz for the win!

Thank you all lots for participating and for your patience on this.


Rewards Added