Freak Experimentals

[Flamebird]

Felicity teared up again as he assured her. It was the best course of action. Felicity shuddered. She had saved people, yes, from further abuse. Still, she looked down at her hands. Was she proud? Being a hero had been something she craved for so long. The responsibility that came with it always crushed her.

She did not want to be a hero anymore.

She melted onto the table, arms hugging her as she rested her head on the table. She shuddered, yearning for escape from the misery. Everything replayed in her mind, her whole life. Her shameful circumstances of birth, her wretched heritage, running away from the only family that loved her, her powers, her old mentor becoming a monster, her family's deaths, almost losing Shinsou Vaan Osiris, the fall of Whitevale, her night of grieving passion with the man she was sure never loved her, losing Remy, killing Daisuke...

She had nothing but regrets. She wanted it to end. Now.

"I don't want to feel any of this." She admitted, "A want to be numb. Food doesn't do it, will adrenaline? Will physical pain? I can't... I can't do this... I'm done playing hero."

Her back throbbed, "I feel so much weight on me. I did the best I could, but it's never enough. I want to run away. From everything."

She looked up at Evian, "My only purpose now is protecting the one person I have left. But even then, I feel guilty cause I know I failed and will fail. I'm not strong enough, no matter how much I train. I feel so guilty, for everything."

She closed her eyes, feeling so many emotional wounds bleeding out in their shadow ache, "I just want to go numb now."

"Evian, tell me," Felicity pleaded, "How do you move forward when you have only felt guilt, loneliness, and shame your entire life? I can't be proud of anything. I am ashamed of everything."