Let Them Sing
EXP: 155,108, Level: 17
Level completed: 18%,
EXP required for next Level: 14,892
Judgment
Pros
- As a collaboration of some length, I thought the story, and the pacing of it, was a good effort overall. The story was easy to follow and the short but to-the-point posts meant I wasn't getting lost in heavy detail. I would argue that this is probably the best way to go about such a thread, as it can be very easy to drown a plot in text.
- - Overall technique by all of you, and particularly by Celandine and Rehtul, was good. I've always enjoyed the way you both write, because you bring a certain flair to your posts that stand out and really accent the writing. The posts were short enough that it was particularly noticeable with you two, but a special mention must also be given to Flamebird and Sugar as well, as I think Flamebird has improved a lot in this area and Sugar shows great promise.
- - Setting. Flamebird HATES setting, but again this is an area I thought that she (in particular) had improved in (again relative to shorter posts). All of you managed to uphold pretty well throughout as a collective, but I can say that I think there is always room for improvement on the overall consistancy of it. There were a couple of times where Sugar would come in dialogue heavy, and I would need to rely on one of the other writer's next posts to determine where something was happening, but that will come with time.
Cons
- I got the impression from the length of the posts and the thread that this was very much traditional "bang, bang, bang" with the posting strategy, because the overall editing wasn't in line with what I was expecting. Typos were prevelant throughout ("She reached and gently peeled the pool pages off her face."), although spelling and grammar weren't hugely a problem overall. Just something to watch going forward, but nothing groundbreaking.
- - Super nitpicky, but formatting. Sugar was probably trying for something unique or new, but there seemed to be a switch between underlining and italics, and I couldn't quite understand the context of why. It did make her posts more juddery to read from about halfway through. Flamebird, again I couldn't distinguish whether your use of italics were internal or external - it seemed to be a mixture of both, but then you would also have dialogue in regular non-italic "x". The best strategy is to pick one style and stick to it.
Star rating: ******* (7/10)
A middle of the road, fun to read thread which did no harm and felt like much more traditional roleplaying. I'd love to see more of these sorts of collaborations going forwards!