Cerna gave a light smile. "I explained this to nosdyn here last night, but I'm struggling with a mental link to my former master I'd very much like severed." She told the high priest calmly. She knew when her stone cold personality would be a bad idea
Nosdyn caught that former master thing and that made him grin behind the mask.
He held her hand....
Crux was standing in front of Lady Cerna at that point and moved quickly to shut the door behind them. He nodded at that point. "I will sever those bonds that shackle you. I have seen such forms of slavery before." He said calmly. Having an intrinsic knowledge of the undead and other races and spells of that caliber.
He moves back in front of Cerna. "With your permission we can begin." He began to summon his vast power...
Last edited by Nosdyn; 11-02-2021 at 12:24 PM.
Cerna nods and stood up straight to ready herself. Her long whiplike tail limp behind her and her hooves flat on the ground. "Permission granted. You may begin" She said giving consent
The light burned brightly from within Crux's soul.
He was a highly skilled priest...one of the most potent practitioners of his art in that age.
He began by summoning the power at his command and locating the psychic bonds that tied her former master to Cerna still. Crux mentally worked to undo the bonds.
He severed them completely from her former master...
Once Crux freed Cerna, he dissolved the chains and bonds completely at a sub molecular level. He gasped once the process was done, he was a little out of breath and the process had taken three full hours. "You are freed." Crux finally said calmly. Catching his breath.
Nosdyn watched from behind his mask the entire time...
Cerna nodded and recomposed herself once the process was complete. She no longer heard her former master's voice in her head. If he was mentally screaming at her now, She could no longer hear it "you have my thanks" She said to Crux and returned eagerly to nosdyn's side
Nosdyn hugged her close for a moment and nodded. He shook Crux's hand gently. "You also have my thanks my old friend."
Crux nodded. "How long are you in town for?" He asked Nosdyn.
Nosdyn held his woman. "Few more nights then we're heading back home." He explained. Stonevale had always been too cold for him anyway...he continued to hold his now free woman. "Let's head back to camp." Nosdyn suggested to her.
Cerna nods at nosdyn and looks at him "gladly" She said to him as she began to follow him back to the camp
He held her hand as they walked back.
"Crux is a good man." He said calmly. "He's helped me out a few times in the past." He spoke gently. "Some humans don't judge other species but many do." He explained. "We always have to be careful." He explained to her.
His hand was wrapped firmly around her own. He didn't mind calling her his mate, as he was hers. He walked with her along side her. Things had happened well, and he'd saved her life as she had saved his own.
In a week's time they would begin the journey back to Tular Plains...home.
~The End~
Cerna smiles and packs up her things to make the journey with her newfound Companion. She was glad he saved her from the torture she had endured for ages. Both here and on her home world. Now she was set to start the next chapter in her life. Adventure awaited her here in the world she found herself in. The world, Of Althanas
~End
Last edited by Cerna; 11-03-2021 at 09:53 AM.
Thank you both for submitting this thread for judgment!
I want to start by making some opening comments.
You originally asked for a full rubric judgment, but I declined this for one reason. This type of thread is an unusual one for Althanas. It harks back to the days of short, but fun, “burst RP” posting where there is less focus on quality and more on progression and involvement. It would be grossly unfair to weigh up a thread like this against an average Althanas thread, but at the same time there are some “basics” that need addressing and therefore as a compromise I’ve decided to score five stars out of ten (with 7 stars representing an “average” thread). This sort of equates to about a 30-40 on the old scoring scale.
On these types of judgments, I try to give three pros and cons. Due to the nature of this thread, it’s going to be abridged.
Pros
• It was fun for you guys to write. That should be the main goal of every thread on Althanas. Burst posting is rare these days, but it achieved at least this aim.
• It contained (relatively speaking) some character development, which is always a good thing on Althanas.
• There was a framework of a plot. Even if it needed expanding on, the thread wasn’t wasted in this regard.
Cons
• Posts were way, way, way too short for Cerna to be able to really learn about her environment and character. Some posts were a sentence long, which is nowhere near enough to be able to discern anything of any value.
• Nosdyn’s posts often contained repetition to the n’th degree. It’s always better to try to find different ways to describe the same things in a post.
• Too much dialogue, not enough action.
Final score: *****
Rewards:
Cerna receives 1,177 EXP, 150 GP and a hide cloak.
Nosdyn receives 1,132 EXP and 168 GP
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