Hey there! VarWenn and Aynur

Var Wenn you are a very skilled writer I enjoy reading your writing so it's easy to read your threads. My first thoughts on this thread is it lacks the whimsy that your threads for Fenn have. If I had to choose between reading Var Wenn and Fenn Wenn I'd read Fenn Wenn any day its a bit more fun. That being said Var Wenn is a good read too.

Aynur I don't think I've done a workshop for you yet. Welcome this will be painless compared to a lot of other people see I suck at criticism, constructive or other wise.

This is a cute kind of date and most enjoyable though probably a bit cliche. There was nothing really that stood out to me in the way of grammar or prose so iI'm not even going to go there. What I did notice was that nearing the end you both seemed to run out of steam. Both of your first posts were a nice wall of words which I understand you are setting up the entire thread but then as you both went about posting your posts became shorter and shorter. Again I understand this I go through it too, conversational posts tend to be shorter because you don't want it to bog down the actual talking, while the other shorten because you don't want to repeat and or are running out of ideas.

All in all it was a cute thread I was quite entertained! You set up the scene quite well, introduced the characters and their goals in a timely fashion, had a nice and exciting climax and a solid conclusion. The grammar was good as far as I could see so I'm not going to complain about it, and you kept the pace smooth.

Good Job!