Thread Title: In the Maw (Battle)
Judgment Type: Condensed Rubric
Participants: Myths and Legends vs. Nosdyn

This was a short but high-octane duel, a literal barn-burner thanks to the chosen setting. You both came out swinging and represented your characters well in some good old-fashioned no-holds-barred Citadel action.

Myths and Legends (referred to hereon as Myth) will be representing out of the red corner.

Nosdyn will be fighting from the blue corner.

You guys kept it short and sweet so I'll do the same and skip straight into the scores!

Plot: 14/30 ~ 15/30

Nosdyn gets a slight edge in this category for his expansion into his character's backstory. While both of you did a good job of getting straight into the meat of the battle, the pacing was still pretty rough in places, mostly because of improper bunnying and weird character choices. You both established the setting to a certain degree and kept it consistent, with Myth mentioning the heat on multiple occasions, but I didn't feel like the extreme conditions had any adverse effects on the characters. It might have been more interesting, for example, if Ioder had been limping the whole battle because of getting burned on his heel near the beginning. Both of you could have benefited from providing more backstory and finding ways to cement this battle in your storylines, but Nosdyn did do a little bit of this and so he gets a small advantage here.

Character: 15/30 ~ 16/30

This category was a little trickier to score. Neither of you did a whole lot of character exploration or development, and you also showed a similar level of consistency in describing your characters' actions. For the most part, I was aware what was going on and why. The big reason that Nosdyn came out on top here is that a lot of Ioder's actions just didn't seem realistic within the scenario. In post 5, After taking a significant wound he immediately regrouped and performed an elaborate leaping attack while shouting. This didn't ring true for someone who just took a "clean hit" and was dealing with "unreal" pain.

Prose: 17/30 ~ 16/30

Myth had the slightly stronger writing technique, using the occasional metaphor to spice things up. His posts were also a bit more clear overall and easy to understand, although on the other hand, Nosdyn seemed to have a few less typos. I would really encourage both of you to delve deeper into literary devices, plotting, and other writing techniques that may be used to enhance your stories. I would also strongly recommend that both of you put a bit more effort into re-reading and editing, as there were a number of mechanical errors in both of your posts. If you have any questions about the mechanical errors I'm talking about feel free to contact me, but I think you're both capable of finding and fixing them, it's just a matter of putting in the time.

Wildcard: 4/10 ~ 4/10

Both of you had instances of bunnying without permission; Myth in post 3 and Nosdyn in post 6. I didn't take an extra point for the bunnying in post 9, Myth, but I could have; you need to have permission and let the moderator know you have permission. If either of you have any questions about the bunnying in this battle, please contact me with them.

Final Score: 50/100 ~ 51/100

Nosdyn wins! That really was a back-and-forth battle. While reading it I actually thought the bunnying would be the deciding factor, but it evened out in the end. The thing that I think won it for Nosdyn was his introspective character work, which made me identify with him a little more as a reader.

Myths and Legends receives: 450 EXP and 60 GP!
Nosdyn receives: 1500 EXP and 52 GP!

Congratulations!