Why in the name of the sweet Flame had I told her about Evangeline? I hadn't thought about that scared, bitter harpy of a woman in so long I had almost forgotten her name. I sat down on the edge of the bed, the towel wrapped around my waist, as I stared at my hands. I - thankfully I had stopped myself from telling her the full truth, that it had been that woman who had killed me the second time, when I was shocked and stunned by learning of what she had done. But still - Evangeline was an old, old scar, a wound on my heart I had let fade because the years had made everything numb.

But - but Camille, and this Nikita. They had lived through betrayal so recently, and the wolf spirit was at the least afraid to love. I couldn't blame them, and I couldn't fault the wolf for being wary or not liking me. No - all I could do was show that I would still be here, and that I would return despite the challenges that might arise. Most people would claim that they would die for someone to prove their feelings - something I thought quite stupid. Death was cheap, death was fast - it was over and done as easily as a blade pierced a heart.

No. If she wanted me to, I would live for her instead. I certainly had enough of that time to spare. Which was - an odd thought for me. To have a reason other than my sheer, unrelenting hatred of the gods to want to continue living. I'd clung to that hate for so long, used it to fuel my very sanity, that having another reason was actually a bit baffling to me. I sat upright and ran my hands through my hair, letting a drawn out sigh escape from my lips before I stood up.

The similarities between us were a bit boggling at times. Warriors both, with two states. She had better control over her change, but lot control to another spirit. I had only my skill preventing my change - if I died I changed and that was that. But, I suffered the loss of reason and an increase in anger. Not the same as hers, but an odd parallel. And the betrayal we both suffered - if I found the man who had hurt her…. I Would have to see how well my experiments in torture carried over to this world.

I looked up as the bathroom door opened and she glided out, her hair damp from the bath, but free of blood. “Feeling better then, sweetheart?” I slowly opened my arms for her, if she wanted to seek my embrace. She nodded softly, slowly climbing into my chest, “I am not over the hurt or love I have for him but you make it more bearable.” I nodded and held her gently.

“Wounds to the heart take the longest to heal, if they ever do. Just don't choose him over me and we’ll be fine.” I tried to laugh, but it was a terrible joke that fell flat even to my own ears. I held her for a moment, relishing her warmth, then let her go and stepped back. “Well. I think that's enough of that depressing topic. Did you have anything you wanted to ask me?”
She hummed softly, pondering her thoughts.

“Do you know exactly how many times you have died?” I blinked. OK, I had not been expecting that, though maybe I should have. I sat down after a long moment, the bed shifting under my weight.

“I tried to keep track. It was easy at first, I died maybe once a century or so. Then the gods stripped more from me, making me weaker, and I died more frequently. I lost count after…” I trailed off. Then I took in a deep breath. “After a particularly bad stretch where I gave up for a while, and let anything or anyone that tried, kill me.” I rubbed the back of my neck as I laid back, staring up at the ceiling.

“I'd been alive through a few cycles at that point. Watched my world die, be reborn in flames, and watched people worship the gods who had them trapped in a false cycle. Over and over again. Eventually I recovered. Found a companion who had survived the gods trying to kill it, too. Then I hid myself away because my world clearly didn't need me. Until - until that bastard found me. The final champion of the gods. He struck me down, and it seemed the gods had had enough of me. He killed me, and before I recovered, I was banished here.” I couldn't keep the bitter hatred for that man from my voice. I didn't know if he even remembered his own name when he killed me, but I fell to his blade nonetheless. I rubbed my face and sighed,before rolling my head to look at her.

“Next question?” I grinned weakly.

Her cheeks collected a pink color which made me curious of the reason. “Do you have any children or just many lovers?” A school girl like giggle left her lips. I blinked slowly and sat up, raising my eyebrow at her.

“I had several lovers, then my wife then I was alone for a few centuries, then a few more lovers, then no one until you, sweetheart. As far as I know, no children.” I slowly stood up and stepped closer to her. “Is there another question on your mind?” Judging from the blush on her cheeks, I doubted it.