Nevin firmly closed the door to the bookstore behind him, and let out a long, long sigh of absolute frustration. He had desperately been searching for any sign of a book on blood magic, or on the Crimson, for days now. He had thought, that if anywhere was to have such a text, Radasanth would be it. But no, no such luck.
He was still stuck in his search for a way to preserve Eteri’s lifespan. He didn't have access to traditional holy magic - that was the kind of thing most people turned to for healing. But this wasn't a case of needing healing, this was a case of needing to extend a natural lifespan. The alchemist hesitated for a moment as that thought came to him.
Because he remembered someone else who had used Alchemy and other arts in an attempt to extend life. And that man had gone down extremely dark paths, including capturing and mutilating a Fae, and trapping her spirit in his tower while he hijacked her body. And while Nevin was desperate to keep her with him - he didn't think he would be able to live with himself if he ever went that far. No, no he would never stoop to necromancy - that much he could promise himself.
But, what other options were there, what did he have? It drove him mad, that he had all this potential power, and no way of showing it. Worse, he knew that Eteri was picking up on the change in his mood. He'd been staying at the shop less and less as he frantically searched for a way to save her - though when he was there, he made damn sure he was attentive. He didn't want her to think that he didn't love her - it was her love for him that spurred him onwards. He just - he couldn't bear to look at her for long, when he felt that he was failing her.
For a moment, he wondered. Was he failing her? She - she felt ten years was enough. For her, that really was a lifetime. Wouldn't it be - wouldn't it be cruel to her, to make her outlive her sister? Even if the two seemed antagonistic at times, he knew they loved each other. Could he really be selfish enough to force her to stay? Was he being an idiot?
”It's like you're clinging to the first person to show you positive attention, and that's not healthy.” Unbidden, Ayaka’s accusation came back to him. Eteri wasn't the first to show him affection - Stare, Fenn, Ezra, Elthas. His friends came to mind. But Eteri was the first who had gone out of her way for him, the first to show an interest in Nevin beyond being an Alchemist, or a friend. Ezra’s awkward faux pas didn't count - the Homunculus had still been figuring out social cues when they did things like that.
He paused and looked around. He was in the streets, and had been wandering as he thought. Nevin didn't even remember starting to walk - his feet had carried him without his conscious direction. He was - standing in front of the Church. His Church. It was in far better repair than the last time he had seen it - the stonework repaired, and with what he considered beautifully drawn red vines mimicking ivy crawling up the sides in a brilliant crimson paint. The grand, imposing doors had been replaced, and now had red cherry wood doors standing open, inviting passerby to come in. Warm golden-red light shone inside, beckoning to him.
With a deep breath, Nevin went inside. The last time he had come in here, he had been dropping off the holy text for the Crimson Church. He'd avoided them since that time, claiming that he was not ready to take up the Mantle of Messiah for them. Or more, not that they knew that. Now, he entered with his head held high, as he looked around.
He didn't know where they had gathered the artwork - it was of gorgeous red-hued landscapes, almost resembling Lindequalme in some paintings. A red-orange sea crashed against pink sand, and the clouds seemed to be in permanent sunset or sunrise, bathed in a myriad collection of reds and oranges.
“Do you like them?” An unknown voice made Nevin turn his head around. The person who had come up was dressed in a simple white robe, with a red sash holding it shut. The man had a pleasant, open smile on his face. “You're a new guest. Welcome to the Crimson Church.” He bowed.
Nevin blinked. The man must have joined the Church after his last visit, because otherwise he would she surely recognized the redhead. “Them?” Hmm. Maybe he could learn how the new Church was doing from this man who didn't know who he was speaking with.
“Yes, the artwork. Every painting you see here is done by one of our own. It's rare, but every so often one of us sees a gorgeous vista, and when we awaken from our sleep, we are compelled to paint it.” The man swept his hand along the wall where the paintings hung. “Each one is hung here. These are the welcoming ones, down at the end is the ones that unsettle people.” Nevin raised a blood-red eyebrow.
“Unsettle people? Why not hide them away, then?” The clergyman shook his head, almost as if he had expected the question.
“Our Church is based upon acceptance of differences. The Great Flow of Crimson runs through us all, unites us all, and accepts us all into its rivers when we pass on. It would be a disgrace upon the name of all we believe in, to not accept those paintings. Just because the landscape they see disturbs some, does not mean that what they experienced is any less valid than what others saw. Now, would you like to join us? We are getting ready for our afternoon prayers.” Nevin gave a very slow nod. Maybe - maybe coming here could help him calm the turmoil in his mind. What the clergyman had said was already echoing back and forth.
The two men - one firmly of the Church, the other, tied to it in a most intimate fashion, made their way down the hall. As they passed the so called ‘disturbing’ paintings, Nevin could see why. The other paintings had animals in them, strange unknown animals perhaps, but animals. These ones though, felt - empty. Like something was missing. The colors were faded, wearing away almost - but the paint looked fresh. Nevin paused, staring at them.
“The ones who see these landscapes always wake up crying.” Nevin turned to look at the priest, who had turned when he realized Nevin had stopped walking. He came to the alchemist’s side, and bowed his head. “The land - it cries out, something vital is missing. The land itself is washed out, faded in these landscapes, and the ones who witness it fear that if what is missing is not returned, the land may die. But - there is little we can do. And these vistas, are even rarer than the others. Come, come. Prayer will begin soon.” Nevin stared at the paintings a moment longer, then followed the priest.
He knew what was missing. The God. But he did not dare say anything - not yet. He wasn’t sure he was ready to be a focal point of this Church. Maybe soon, but not yet.
The prayer hall was surprisingly packed with people - at least, it was surprising to Nevin. The last time he had come here, the number of attendees had been, while not small, no where near this large. Now, it felt like there were over a hundred people crammed into this one small chamber, and they were all - well, Nevin felt oddly welcome here. He took a deep breath - and frowned. There were faces in the crowd that he recognized, but he wasn’t sure from where. It wasn’t from the original roster of attendees to the Church - no, it was from somewhere else. But where? He frowned, and put it out of his head. While the rest of the group began to pray, he closed his eyes and focused in thought.
Acceptance. Such a small word, one that carried so much weight. It was - it was one of the core tenets of the faith that he followed, that he - had originated? It was difficult at times to think of the Crimson Church properly, because he felt simultaneously like a follower, a reluctant adherent, and also like - like he was the one who was behind everything, had initiated it all. It was an odd duality, and one that threw him for a loop at times. He sighed - this rambling wasn’t what he was trying to think of. No - he wanted to focus on what the priest had said. Acceptance was one of their core values, their main beliefs. The Crimson ran through everyone, giving to each in their own turn, displaying itself in different ways for different people, but - but, no one person was supposed to be more, or less valuable than another.
But -but he couldn’t really agree with that. Because he valued Eteri more highly than anyone in this room. How could he get these two inherent feelings to agree with each other? He swallowed as he tried to think. Then his eyes opened up. He was being selfish. He wasn’t accepting Eteri’s own desires in all this, just focusing on his own. And that realization tore him, because he knew that she’d slap him for being selfish, and then give him a kiss and tell him it was ok to be selfish. He took a deep breath.
He had to talk with her. He was being an idiot, not including her in what he was thinking. Who knows how torn up she was right now, by his constant -
Nevin...I didn’t lie that night...if you truly are becoming something far greater than I, something devine. I want you to know you have my support. You have my devotion, I love you and I pray to you, for you, and ask that you continue to strive forward in whatever path you may take. You say you may not be enough but you are, you really are.
Nevin fell to his knees as a voice slipped into his head, quiet and thunderous at the same time. It was like - it was like he had gone for days, weeks, without hearing anything, his ears unused to working, and suddenly they were working with crystal clarity. It was - it was strange, because he knew that the voice hadn’t reached his ears, but he also recognized it. How could he not? That was Eteri. But how in the name of Crimson had he heard her, when he knew that she was still at the sho-
His mind stilled, as people began crowding around him. She prayed to him. Nevin forced himself to his feet, pushing away the concerned congregation - until one of them seized his arm.
“Ladies, Gentlemen! Our Messiah, come to join us! He is alright now. But do you see, unity? Even in his very actions, he lives it - he did not push his way to the front, but instead stood amongst the rest of us Children of the Flow! Messiah, are you alright, in truth?” It was - it was the preacher that Nevin had given the holy book to - one of those who would recognize him. Nevin wanted to curse the fact that he had collapsed. He wanted to get home, immediately, and find out what in the name of the Flow was happening, and how Eteri had managed to reach him with a prayer. He nodded, roughly, and gently pried his arm from the man’s grasp.
“Ye-yes, I am fine.” Nevin suppressed a growl at the fact that he had to clear his throat in the middle of that. He brushed himself down from the fall. “My apologies, I didn’t intend to disrupt the service.”
“No, no my lord! You are never a disruption - in fact, tonight, we felt closer to our God than we ever have before, and I am sure it is due to your presence.” The redhead had to fight down a powerful urge to laugh at that - laugh, or sob. “We thank you - but, you look a bit pale. Perhaps you should come to lay down and rest?” Nevin shook his head, his red hair whipping about his face.
“No - no, I should return to my shop. I left a dangerous brew simmering, and I should check it before things begin to deteriorate.” There was absolutely no way the alchemist could tell them the truth - that his lover had managed to pray to him, and get her message heard. The people around him let him go, forming a path out of the congregation for him. Nevin thanked them and began to leave, only for one man near the end to move out of the way a little slower.
“My King. I’ll let the others know that you are tied to this church indeed. Wonderful news - we look forward to your next art show.” Then the stranger was gone. It wasn’t until Nevin was outside that he froze as he processed what the man was referring to. ‘My King’ - ‘art show’. Nevin whipped around, finally figuring out where he recognized the unfamiliar faces in the congregation from. They were people who had attended that damn gallery, the fucking abomination that Stefano had put on. But they were gone, melting into the crowd as people filed out of the church, bowing to him. Nevin let out a snarl of frustration, and spun on his heel and began stalking back towards his store, his home. His love.
The store was mostly quiet. Nevin didn’t see Eteri at first - where was she? The workshop - my workshop door was open? What? The alchemist looked inside quickly, to make sure she hadn’t gotten poisoned by something - but no, she wasn’t here. Where then, was she? Nevin strode into the bedroom and looked around - the bed was empty, the bathroom was too -
Wait, why was there a smell of something burning?The alchemist turned without seeing the interior of the bathroom beyond the fact that his lovely blue-haired girlfriend wasn’t in it. Nevin frowned. He took a step in - and saw that the alcove in the back of the room, where Eteri had made her little nest before moving into sleeping next to him full time, was glowing. Nevin moved over quickly - and there she was, her hands clasped in front of her - and a vial of his blood was resting beneath the medallion that Eteri was always wearing.
“Eteri, honey.” He spoke softly.
