Incorrect Althanas Quotes

[Flamebird]

Felicity: Hey, Nevin! Hey, Nevin!
Nevin: What, Felicity? What is it?
Felicity: Want to hear what I've learned as an alchemist?
Nevin: I guess?
Felicity: [Holding deadly nightshade] This is called... the poppy seed!
Nevin: I already know what a poppy seed is, Felicity.
Felicity: [Slams berries in his head and smothers them around his forehead] You use it to make people fall asleep just a bit easier!
Nevin: I don't think this is a poppy seed, but I do think I'm going to pass out.
Daisuke: Felicity! Is that an actual plant you're touching? You've improved so much!
Nevin: So do you think this is all berry juice? 'Cause I think my eye's also bleeding...
[Source: Moonkitti.]

[Flamebird]

Yvonne: Uh, hey, Felicity? I need some help.
Felicity: *In pharmacist/ medic mode* What hurts?
Yvonne: It's incredibly serious.
Felicity: Out with it! It is my duty to take care of my friends.
Yvonne: It's... my heart.
Felicity: OH NO WE HAVE TO-
Yvonne: No! Not like that, Felicity!
Felicity: What?
Yvonne: How can you tell if someone really loves you?
Felicity: Oh. Well, you see, I can always count on Nevin to be there when I need him.
Yvonne: No, Felicity. I mean how can you tell if someone's in love with you?
Felicity: Nobody loves me, Yvonne.
Yvonne: Look, look, look, Felicity-
Source: Moonkitti.

[Shinsou Vaan Osiris]

Shin: But Dirks, you said I was in with a chance at being admin!

Max Dirks: Half an hour ago you WERE in with a chance! This is half an hour hence! We've fucking time travelled, yeah? Maybe outside there are robots walking about, maybe Davina McColl's the new pope. Maybe you can download rice!

Shin: So, where does this leave me?

Max Dirks: Well, I guess where this leaves you Shin is on the back benches of the Althanas staff, with a big "vote for me" sticker on the end of your big flacid dick. Get back on the train to Lyesville, pronto!



(Copyright The Thick of It)

[Flamebird]

Shin: You... Uh... Look like a neanderthal.
Felicity: What. The. Heck. Did you just say!?! I DO NOT TAKE PRISONERS I DO NOT SURRENDER PREPARE TO DIE!
Shin: Dude, you're like, a baby.
(Source - Moonkitti: Rootpaw Dies.)

[Flamebird]

Terawyn: Hey, want anything to eat?
Ayleth: THE SOULS OF THE INNOCENT!
Ashla: A bagel.
Ayleth: NOOOOO!
Ashla: Two bagels.
[Source: Vine.]

[Flamebird]

"We're dead! We're dead! We're alive, but we're dead!" - Everyone, during the End of All Things.
SOURCE The Incredibles.

Shinsou: Punch me in the face.
Philomel: Punch you?
Shinsou: Yes, punch me in the face. Didn’t you hear me?
Philomel: I always hear ‘punch me in the face’ when you’re speaking, but it’s usually subtext.
SOURCE Sherlock.

Person: [Gets bitten by snake]
Person: Oh no! Please help me! Is it poisonous?
Felicity: Nope.
Person: Oh, thank the Thayne-
Felicity: It's venomous.
SOURCE: Meme.

[When Amari first "joined" the Crimson Hand]
Amari: If you kill a killer, the number of killers in the world stays the same.
Aur: [With his mouth full] Kill two.
SOURCE Tumblr.

Shinsou: You're so dramatic!
Philomel, with a rose between her lips, throwing glitter around, dressed in evening wear during the day, draping herself across a piano: I have no idea what you're talking about.
SOURCE Tumblr.

"I had to take a sick day. I’m so sick of these people." - Philomel.
SOURCE Seinfeld.

"I’m a member of the GATE. We fight monsters and protect humanity and stuff!" - Alyssa Snow.
SOURCE Steven Universe.

[Now that Felicity's 18]
Felicity: I need an adult.
Felicity: Wait, I am an adult.
Felicity: I NEED A BETTER ADULT!
SOURCE Tumblr.


And now, a scene from Fallout: Nuclear Rage:
Shinsou: You're awfully mature for someone your age.
Felicity: Thanks! It's the trauma.
SOURCE ???

[Flamebird]

Felicity: *Treating a sick child* This might hurt a little.
Kid: Okay.
Felicity: There is no Santa Claus.
Source: Meme.

Felicity: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: Good first.
Felicity: You're going to lose fifty pounds!
Patient: And bad?
Felicity: Fifty pounds worth of legs.
Source: Meme.

Patient: Well, you see doctor, obesity runs in my family.
Felicity: No, the problem is nobody runs in your family.
Source: Meme.

Felicity: You need to quit smoking!
Patient: Tell me something I don't know!
Felicity: Your dad.
Source: Meme.

Felicity: *Shoving herbs into patient's face* Eat these if you don't want to die.
Source: Warrior Cats Fanbase.

[Flamebird]

Karl Mayrdorff: DUES VALT!
[Source: Meme.]

Philomel: [Flirting] Hi, I'm Philomel.
Felicity: Hi, I'm straight.
[Source: It Sucks to be Luigi.]

Owen: Bye, lads, make me lotsa money:
Sage: Bye, Lulia! Bye, Master! Bye, Lulia...
Victor: You said "Bye Lulia" two times.
Sage: I like Lulia.
[Source: SpongeBob SquarePants.]

John Cromwell: [Holding up Hayate's new arm] BEHOLD! MY CREATION!
[Source: VeggieTales.]

[Hayate bawling in a bar]
Felicity: [walks in unaware] Hey, new Brotherhood Manager!
[Hayate continues bawling]
Felicity: Wow. The pressure's setting in on him already.
Hayate: No, Fel, I didn't get the promotion.
Felicity: WHAT! Why?!
Hayate: Mr. Osiris says I'm just a kid...
Felicity: What! But saying you're a kid is like saying I'm a kid!
Waiter [walks in with tray] Here's your kid's meal, ma'am.
Felicity: Uh, I'm supposed to get a toy with that.
[Source: Spongebob.]

Shinsou: *Standing alone in the kitchen'
Hayate and Felicity: *Burst in* DAD WE'RE THIRSTY!
Shinsou: Well I should hope so. You kids have been playing outside for the past nine hours.
Hayate and Felicity: *look down* Yeah...
Shinsou: Who would like a delicious chocolaty batch of Circletine?
Hayate and Felicity: CIIIRCLETIIIIIIIINE!?!
Hayate: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Turns on Corpse King and destroys a glass*
Shinsou: Get the milk and vinegar!
*Hayate and Felicity rush and get the ingredients, putting them on the table*
Shinsou: *Pours Circletine powder*
Philomel: *Opens door* Hey, gang!
Shinsou: CIIIRCLETIIIIIIIIIINE! *Chucks a glass*
Philomel: Nope. Not today. *Closes door and leaves*
Shinsou: Mix em together, kids!
Hayate and Felicity: *Mix ingredients* AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Shinsou: It's ready! Go tell grandpa.
*Grandpa Storm Veritas is reclining in the other room*
Hayate and Felicity: CIIIIIRCLETIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!
Storm Veritas: Whoa! Ahhh! *Starts lightning storm*
[Source: Circletine.]

[Flamebird]

[Gweneal x Felicity addition. I have no idea where most of these quotes are from.]

Felicity: THE PYTHAGOREAN ALGORITHM, YOU FOOLS!
Gwenael: Babe, calm down. It's just trivia night.

Felicity: I need coffee.
Gwenael: You shouldn’t be having more than three cups a day, and this is your fifth cup in the last two hours
Felicity: Just give me my coffee!

Felicity: [Flirts]
Gwenael: [Flirts back]
Felicity [Thinking to herself]: I was not expecting this outcome. What in the world do I do now??

Felicity: Everyone knows that Santa is an invention designed by the big five corporations to sell tinsel and video games to an unsuspecting public.
Gwenael: The whole “childhood wonder” stage just blew right past you, didn’t it?
Felicity: The normal “Childhood” thing blew by too.

Gwenael: Whoever invented gummy vitamins is my enemy. Very expensive candy that I can only have two pieces of per day! What am I being tested for?
Felicity : I've had 6 vitamins today, so I'm incredibly strong now basically, and I can destroy anyone. I'll go fight a Thayne to prove it.
Gwenael: Felicity, no.

Gwenael : Hey, I made some chocolate dessert; do you want some.
Felicity, who ate a giant slice of pecan coffee cake and 7 oreos: Yeah sure.

Felicity: Hey, how are you?
Gweneal: I would die for you.
Felicity:
Gweneal: I mean, I’m good how are you?

Am'aleh: I didn't think you were the type to lose your sanity for a girl.
Gweneal: I didn't either.

Gweneal: I heard you like bad boys. I’ll have you know, I’m bad at everything.
Felicity: Gwen… what??

Gweneal: I really shouldn’t have introduced Lassie to memes.
Shinsou: …Why?
Gweneal: Because-
Felicity: SOMe-
Gweneal: Oh Ethereal Sw-
Felicity: *KiCKs doOr DoWn*
B O D Y ONCE TOLD ME

Felicity: You’re only sick if you act like you’re sick. If you act like you’re healthy then you’ll be alright.
Gweneal: Felicity, you’re literally bleeding out right now.

Gweneal: Jomil gave me a get better soon card-
Felicity: Aw, that’s so sweet of her!
Gweneal: I wasn’t sick. She just thought I could do better.


[Day Seven of Quarantine:]
Felicity: Gwenael, can you go get something for dinner?
Gwenael: Absolutely not.
Felicity: Why?
Gwenael: I'm practicing good social distancing.
Felicity: But you can't even get sick!
Gwenael: I must be a good example for foolish humans like you.
Felicity: [Throws pillow] Jerk!

[Flamebird]

Storm: Hayate, are you here?
Hayate: [Raises hand]
Storm: Sorry. Didn't recognize you with your hair tied. Felicity, are you here?
Felicity: [Raises hand]
Storm: Didn’t recognize you with your shut mouth.
[ Source: Tumblr.]

Shinsou: Listen, son. In this world, it's either yeet or be yeeted.
Hayate: I'm literally begging you to stop.
[Source: Tumblr.]

Shinsou: Why are you here?
Storm: Couldn't live without you, I guess.
[Source: Tumblr.]

Felicity [Pointing sword at crowd gathering around her after saving them from Drexel] GET BACK, YOU SAVAGES!
Shinsou: Sorry, sorry! She's just not used to positive feedback!
[Source: Megamind.]

Storm: Shinsou’s not my best friend.
Arius: You mean Shinsou Vaan Osiris, the moron?
Storm: That's my best friend, you monster!
[Source: Tumblr.]

Storm: Your secrets are safe with me. I zoned out about thirty minutes ago.
[Source: Tumblr.]

Shinsou: Storm tells me I have a favorite apprentice and that's not true! I love Felicity's and not Felicity's equally!
Unknown.