On the day of my seventh birthday, I woke up to the rain was falling in relentless icy sheets. There was bustle of activity as handmaidens and servants alike passed through the halls of the Amatsukami estate. I could distinctly remember Shina rushing me out of bed and dressing me in my special kimono to start off the day. She seemed to be in a particular hurry this morning, carelessly rushing to tie the young lord’s sash to send him on his way.

“Alright now.” she said as she pushed me out the door of my room. “Your father is waiting on you in the pagoda. Hurry on now and don’t dilly dally.” She said it with a concerned look in her eyes masked by her usual sweet smile. I might have been young but even back then I knew that things were off. She never allowed me to go anywhere by myself.

As I walked through the halls I noticed that the servants all were in a big rush packing up many of the family’s belongings. They spared no time cramming anything of value they could find into large sacks on their back. Once I reached the large ornate staircase of the mansion everyone started to shoot me nasty looks like they had never seen me a day before in my life.

As hard as I try I still can’t remember seeing any of my family as I sought out my father. Where was everyone and why were all the servants acting so funny?

“Papa,” I cried now concerned that things were amiss.

When I reached the covered pagoda outside me saw my father and another man standing in dead silence. I remember my father was dressed in his complete samurai armor with their family’s sword Yamato hung at his side and the man he was speaking to also dressed like he was ready to fight. But when I called out his name my father, Lord Szayrus, didn’t respond. All he did was look back in terror seeing his son standing before the two of them.

“No…”

“It looks like your son has come to watch you die.” The man across from Lord Szayrus said with a snakelike hiss.

“You would dishonor yourself.” My father said as he placed a hand on his blade. “Hayate where is Shina?”

I didn’t answer.

“Your son’s keeper left him to die, I’m surprised he even mad it outside with how easily your servants were bought off. They must really have hated you. It’s a shame really, I figured taking out the Amatsukami would be a challenge but your men basically open the door.”

It felt like all the world’s weight sat on my chest as I listened to the two talking. I don’t remember for sure but my father acted like he knew the man. Maybe I’d seen him before when I attended the Shogun’s court, but to this day his name alludes me. All I could do at the time was drop to my knees as my world began to fall apart.

I watched as my father defended his honor and his family. He fought the would be assassin with everything he had and as a child I thought he was the strongest person in the world. My father always taught me to value ones convictions and the bonds that connected people. He made sure to teach me that you did whatever it took to try and protect these bonds. But on the day of my seventh birthday, I saw my father die.

It is still all a blur to me now. My mind must have tried to block out the more gruesome moments of that day but when I was told about it by the family who found me days later I still grow sick. Apparently a rivaling clan aiming to usurp the Amatsukami in the shogun’s court planned an assassination attempt on the main branch of the Amatsukami and my father died protecting me. No matter how hard I try to ignore it, this day still haunts my dreams.