20 years ago...

The plastic just felt better. It clicked enough, but not too much. Mario just moved right, and Bubsy just didn’t. When kids played video games (in a romantic past we’re not sure was ever real) they just knew what was right. And by right, I mean, what was fun. Now, we just chug buckets of hot air and we ask each other…

“Hey, so was that good?”

Who fucking knows, right? But, hey, let’s analyse it, review it, post breakdown videos about it, and indulge in the full sugar soda of fandom. And that’s not to be rude, or cruel, or disparaging to those who do have that lifeline of intravenous pleasure that whatever format of entertainment can provide.

But, for the rest of us, translucent shells dwellers, it’s pointless… I must have flushed my lust for life down the toilet with the rest of my shit.
“Hey...” said a teenage Jenibber to her buddy Milton. “So, I read your post,” she continued. “...Everything… okay?”

“Nah,” replied the similarly teenaged Milton. “I gotta fucking do something else before I take a one way trip to the rope store.”

“Big oof,” Jenibber sighed with a ruffled handful of Milt’s shiny, black hair.