I apologise that this is late, but I read Songs of Lonely Heart and had time to offer you some more informally formatted feedback!

My favourite part about this thread, and about your writing in general, is the emotional journey that you take the reader through. The characters you create always have a purpose, and always serve to either reflect what Felicity is feeling or act as a "bounce off". In this thread, Uncle Fulcrum, Jonathan and Kylie are such NPC's.

Preston already touched on this above, which kind of stole my thunder a bit, but I also really enjoyed Felicity's introduction to Althanas and how she is immediately interested by so many strange new aspects of the world around her; even something as simple as discovering gulls. It was nice to see a character physically introduced to our world for the first time. Most characters are simply "in" Althanas to start with, so a different perspective was refreshing. I think I also enjoyed the excitement of Althanas juxta positioned to her past in Eiskalt.

I felt that there were a couple of jarring moments, and I wondered if your song / poem posts were in the right place to have the effect you wanted. Again, as Preston pointed out above, there were quite a few issues with tense and it was difficult to determine what was in the past and what was in the present. I do feel that your grammar and spelling, as well as your overall technique, have massively improved since this thread (your work in Detonation is testament to this), so I'm not going to go too ham fisted , but in the context of just this thread in isolation I felt that a little more time and a little less rush would have improved the overall quality by some measure.

For a Flamebird short, this was a good one and and enjoyable read overall. I know that you've addressed some of the issues prevalent in this thread in your overall writing, but the things to carry forward from this are probably just a little more attention to your tense in the context of what you are trying to convey, and keep doing what you are doing with everything else!