Horses, Shinies, and Silly Things

[Jake Narmolanya]

"Alright, you've convinced me," the merchant said, and Jake let the stones fall with a clatter. The fat man scratched his belly through his nightshirt and nodded inward. "Come on inside, I'll look at my calendar and see which social events might call for an entertainer."

"Err," Jake said, "wait, there's more!" He reached into his pocket, finding nothing there but some sand leftover from a recent trip to the beach. "Witness the wonder of the Green Gallantro!" He cried, and threw the sand in the merchant's eyes.

"What the fuck!" The fat man spluttered, staggering out of his house to brush his face off in the garden. "Seriously, kid. When I clear my eyes there had better be a Kebiran elephant or something standing before me. This had better be one hell of a magic... trick." He said as he cleared his vision and found Jake menacing him with a dagger. "What the fuck?" He repeated, voice wavering as the youth grabbed a handful of his collar.

"Stay calm and this'll remain on the outside of your skin," Jake growled, laying the iron blade alongside the man's throat.

"What do you want?" The man gulped nervously, his throat bobbing. "I don't have anything for you to take! Well, okay I suppose I am fairly wealthy. Take whatever you want! Just don't hurt me. There's no one else here, I promise."

"I don't need to take anything," Jake said. "I'm just here to keep an eye on you. I've already got a crack team of specialized thieves combing through your home to find your valuables." The merchant's eyes bulged. "That's right," Jake said, stalling for time. "A crack team of specialists."

[FennWenn]

Slipping his bobby pins back behind his ear, a miniature crack-specialist of thievery slipped in through a newly-unlocked door and into a servant’s hallway.

Fenn was practically vibrating with glee as he skittered through the passageway and out the first door he came across — one whose lock was deftly overcome. One who lead into a rather extravagant foyer. The boy’s jaw dropped just slightly as his toes touched a fleecy rug. High-quality stuff! There was a lot of purple here. A lot. Chair seats, tasseled tapestries, drapes… it made Fenn snort a little. From all that he had stolen and re-sold in the past, it didn’t escape him that purple was one of the more expensive colors to produce dye for. It seemed like the head of this household was rather invested in his self-image as one with wealth. This room was probably the maximum level of fanciness that one would reasonably have without feeling pushed to hire guards.

Which was lucky, because this sneaky fae was not equipped to fight guards. No blood for him; only that sweet, sweet gold.

There was no hesitation on the little puck’s part in getting to work right away. With all the grace of a mantis’ strike, Fenn grabbed several slightly-dusty vases and decorative statuettes off of the fireplace’s mantle and stuffed them into his bag. Yoink! There went a few lacy dollies. Oh look — an open box of cigars! No-one would miss that. Or at least, perhaps they wouldn’t, among the vast amount of things that were about to go missing along with it. Those too merged with the hoard hiding in the boy’s satchel. Just as he had moved on to a couch (hey, those side-pillows were silky-tempting) there was a gasp from behind him.

Fenn jolted and glanced over his shoulder.

Standing in the doorway of the servant’s passage was a dark-haired woman dressed in a maid’s outfit. A very stiff, formal maid’s outfit. Catlike ears flicked back from the top of her skull, and a sleek tail lashed from a slit in her long skirt. Probably, she was half-Akishimian. Between her white-knuckled hands she clutched a feather duster.

Her eyes glanced in disbelief between the dirty little imp with his dirty hands full of stolen pillow, and the bits of straw and frost on the floor, tracked in from his entrance. Split panic took hold of the boy. His ears curled back. Shhhhhhhiiiiiit. It wasn’t often that he was caught so brazenly in the process of taking everything not nailed down; especially not in the confined space of a house.

Something whispered inside of him. Something instinctual and furtive.

Snow circled swirling into existence. Fenn’s mind darted for an image comforting to him, but significantly more frightful to the average mortal. The terrifying, one-eyed visage of a black direwolf coalesced around him, slavering at the jaws. As he instinctively bared his teeth, so too did the illusion. The maid’s eyes rolled up into her head. With a scream, a whimper, and a sudden palor, she fainted dead away, hitting the polished wood with a muted thud. Hopefully, that wasn’t heard outside!

Then again, that shriek was probably a bigger concern.

Fenn’s glamour tore apart in a whistle of frostdust as he scampered over to the fallen maid. Thankfully, she was still breathing — he could help but check, because he didn’t really like thinking too hard about non-mean-merchant collateral damage, and not knowing if he’d accidentally startled someone to death would be on his mind forever if he didn’t. Attached to the beltloop of her skirt was a ring of keys. Nifty! Wrapping his hand in his cloak so as to not singe himself on the iron, they were swiftly unhitched from their place and taken for Fenn’s own. He already had the picklocking skills he needed to get into any door in this house, but then, he figured it was his place to stir chaos where he could. After all, wasn’t this merchant guy a Rather Bad Man?

Let the looting commence!

[Jake Narmolanya]

"That sounded like Kayoko!" The Rather Bad Man exclaimed when they heard the scream. His ruddy pallor had fallen to a ghastly shade of white. "What kind of specialists did you bring? What will they do to her? What will you do to me? Please just take whatever you want and leave us be."

Jake frowned. "How many servants are in there?" He demanded, twisting the merchant's collar. "I could have sworn I overheard that all of your servants would be out today."

"Just her!" The balding man exclaimed."Normally they all have Sundays off, but Kayoko had been home sick recently and she wanted to catch up on her chores."

Jake's frown deepened, like a rut being re-dragged by a wagon wheel. He was not worried about Kayoko. He was worried about Fenn. The little fae was not exactly combative. What if the maid swatted him like a pesky moth?

"You let your servants have Sundays off and you give them sick days?" Jake said, eyebrows raised. Such benefits were unheard of in most Coronian households. "Hang on... you don't really seem like an asshole at all." He said in confusion. "I mean, you were even going to hire me. Right up until I threw sand in your face..." The thief tilted his head in consideration and then sheathed his dagger. "Sorry about that. I wouldn't have cut you." He gave the merchant a little shove in releasing his nightshirt. "Go back inside." He said with a nod. He shed his cape but left the mask on.

The man glanced nervously at the dagger on the brigand's belt, but nodded and retreated into the mudroom, holding the door for Jake. For a mudroom, the place was awful fancy. Four unique crystal lanterns sat in wall sconces either side of each door. Tiles that looked like marble covered the floor and the lower half of the walls, making them easy to wash or scrape down. An ornate Akashiman multi-tiered boot tray stood in the corner opposite the door to the main house. It was smoothly sanded and painted purple, and filled with mostly clean shoes of all different origins. Jake had done a fair bit of traveling, and he recognized Aleraran fashions and even some Raiaeran and Fallieni sandals.

To bad none of these are my size, he thought, glancing down at his dusty old boots.

"What are you going to do?" The merchant asked again as he approached the inner threshold.

"I'm going to find some rope or something to tie you up, and then get my part-my team the hell out of here." Jake said. He was still looking over his shoulder at the fancy shoe rack.

The merchant picked up one of the crystal lanterns - the one shaped like a rearing lion - and swung it at Jake's head. The youth cried out in alarm and threw up his hands, barely deflecting the heavy blow. The lantern glanced off his arms and fell to the ground. Jake overbalanced and staggered into the boot tray, which collapsed beneath his weight with a splintering of fragile timbers. The merchant seized another lantern - this one shaped like a dire wolf - and wound up to heave it at the fallen half elf.

Jake waved his hands in desperation, and a portal opened up beneath the fat man, who fell through it with a cry of shock. The portal schiiipped shut in time for the dire wolf lantern to clatter safely to the floor.

Fenn would probably like that, Jake thought as he climbed to his feet. He picked up the statuesque lantern and tucked it beneath his arm. The portal had deposited the merchant safely on a stretch of Scaran beach about five miles from anywhere. Jake would be sure to go back and get the merchant before they left. If he remembered. The man seemed resourceful enough to get himself home, if it came to that.

Jake opened the door and ducked into the main house, searching the lavish premises for any sign of the maid and his small friend.

[FennWenn]

One by one, a cabinet’s worth of shiny, shiny porcelain dishes — smooth to the touch and edged with gold leaf — disappeared into an endlessly greedy bag. The door was left ajar as a pint-sided pocketpicker glanced around the grand room he was in. Nodding back at his work, Fenn began his way back, scampering over white tiles and ducking under polished preparation tables, toward the kitchen’s door.

This room was likely picked clean enough for him to want to move on from it. Probably. Kitchens were always Fenn’s favorite room to raid in any given house. There was quite a great carnage behind and before the little puck; an icebox left ajar open (who needed that when they had snowy magics?), a platter of warming brownies mysteriously vanished from its spot on the counter (delicious!), a spatter of egg on the wall (his bad), empty jars dripping and rolling about (one smashed, whoops) frost and flour tracked over the nice clean countertops (and floors)... Yes, Fenn decided as he licked a delicious smear of honey and brownie crumbs from the corner of his mouth, he had done good work and now the rest of the decorated house beckoned him. But, the fae thought as he glanced up, had he done enough work? What if something had been forgotten? What if he had missed a tin of cookies somewhere?

Such as, that glittery box all the way on the tippy-tip top of that cabinet over there.

Hesitantly, the fae considered the shiny snippet of temptation. There were other rooms to move onto in the house, but… Nono, he decided as he slid back into the room; he was being extra-careful to be thorough with this bout of stealing! It wouldn’t do to miss such a thing.

As easily as a squirrel scales a tree, Fenn hoisted himself onto the dark marble counter (not for the first time today) and reached up to grab a cabinet’s handle — but not to open it. With an air of smugness, the boy jumped and grabbed for the top of the counter. His hand met with the dusty top. Triumphantly, he pulled himself up. There, he hung with his feet dangling in the air, by the meager strength of his crossed arms alone.

Crash whunk THUMP-

Fenn’s gaze jolted up from shiny tin right in front of his nose, hearing a hearty scuffle echo through the tall corridors. His thoughts jerked back to the fainted lady — had she gotten up, or had something happened to her? Oh no. He hoped she was okay. They weren’t here to murder anyone or anything… wait. What if that was the mean merchant? Had Jake lost his attention? What if a fight had broken out? What if-

In his moment of fluttery distraction and rambled thinking, Fenn reached for the cookie tin with two hands, forgetting that one needed both arms to hold themselves up in such a precarious position on to the top of a cabinet.

WHUMP!

It was then that he discovered the tin was not full of cookies.

[Jake Narmolanya]

Jake had barely taken three steps when he heard the unmistakable sound of a fallen Fenn striking cold kitchen floor. The half elf wheeled around and raced down the hall in the direction of the whump, noticing an array of empty shelves along the way. It seemed the fae had done some good work on his way to whatever trouble he'd encountered. Jake subconsciously eased his iron dagger in its sheath. What if the merchant had lied about his staff? What if he'd missed something in scouting the place? If he'd placed Fenn in danger, he wasn't sure how he'd forgive himself.

"Kaaah-chhooo!"

A distinctly fae-like sneeze echoed around the room of shiny surfaces as Jake entered. He found Fenn laying in a haphazard pile, an open tin having spilled snuff powder all over his face. The little fellow scratched at his scalp and gave another mighty sneeze, looking sheepishly up at the half-elf.

"Fenn, you don't want that stuff! It'll rot your nose off. At least, that's what the old men always shouted when I tried to steal it as a youngster..."

"Hello?" Came a deep, unfamiliar voice form outside. It penetrated the thin glass of the kitchen window. "Merchant Smellson? It's Ivan, the deputy sheriff you're always mistaking for Melvin, the other deputy sheriff. I heard some strange noises. Everything alright in there?"

Four green eyes intersected in a sudden panic.

"Quick!" Jake hissed. "Where are the horses?" Fenn pointed frantically towards the building's rear. "Right, hurry, hurry!" Jake said, and Fenn hurry hurried. The thieving pair stole out the back door and into the stables, where the smell of hay and the sight of zero yearlings greeted them.

"Fennnn, what happened?" Jake groaned, but the open gates left that all too evident. They didn't have time to go chasing yearlings all over the countryside. They had a deputy sheriff to escape from! Jake drew deeply on the Eternal Tap and created a shimmering portal out of thin air next to them. "After you, buddy!" He said, and Fenn hopped on through as quick as a hare.

Jake paused a moment, and then, almost as an afterthought, created a second portal and peered through it.

"You haven't gotten far," he said.

He was looking at a length of open beach, and a fat merchant sitting dejectedly in the sand in his nightshirt.

"Come one, then." Jake told him. "I'm getting tired holding this thing open!" He let the merchant back into his house, and then darted through the first portal after Fenn and allowed both holes in space to snap shut.

The fae's luminous green eyes stared, and he pointed wordlessly. Jake looked down, having forgotten what he was carrying under his arm.

"Oh, right!" He said, holding up the sparkly crystal dire wolf lantern. "I grabbed this for you, buddy." Fenn performed a small but elaborate dance and accepted the gift, squirreling it away inside his satchel-of-many-things.

"Well," Jake said, "I don't think that could have gone much better."

[FennWenn]

Vwoosh! Through the portals they went!

Daugi perked up as the two alighted on the soft grass, tongue lolling out of her mouth. Her teeth were tinged pink and her muzzle matted dark from her hunting in their absence. Fenn wrinkled his nose and gave her a pat back as she nuzzled him. Dumb mut; he’d have to give her a good brushing soon! Now that they were at their camping ground — out of the reaches of the law they had very certainly broken many times today — they could take a moment to breathe. Jake flopped over by the remnants of last night’s campfire while the fae gladly let his direwolf smother him in affection.

After a moment, Fenn wiped the monster slobber off his face and glanced back over his shoulder. The half-elf’s attention was captured with a wave of the boy’s hand. ”Horse?” he mouthed hesitantly over at Jake. He felt pretty bad about screwing up their chances of snagging a yearling.

“It’s alright.” Jake sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “At least we didn’t get caught by the deputy. That would’ve spelled trouble for us.”

Fenn frowned, and followed the motion with a shrug. Carefully, he stuck his hand into his satchel, dug around shoulder-deep, and pulled out a dish. Then another. Then another. Daugi watched the process in quiet fascination. Soon, there was a full set lying on the dirt; a full set of immaculate porcelain, gilded with gold. The little puck lifted his eyebrows and pointed between Jake and the shiny stuff. Then with both hands, he smugly mimicked holding a horse's reins; “Horse,” he mouthed again. Jake should get all those dishes to sell for coin buy a new friend with, to save him some later trouble trying to scrounge up money or steal a new one himself. It only seemed fair in turn, after all. The half-elf had given him that cool lantern.

[Jake Narmolanya]

"And now!" The auctioneer called, his strident voice ringing across the front yard of Vard Smellson's manor. "We shall auction off the first of a half dozen Fallieni yearlings! The finest horseflesh in the known world, at the perfect age to begin training beneath new masters. Shall we start the bidding at six hundred gold pieces?"

Jake and Fenn sat in the back row of folding chairs, sharing a sideways glance. The little fae nodded, and Jake lifted the numbered sign he was holding.

"Six hundred!" The auctioneer called. "To the young gentleman in the back. Do I hear six ten?"

The plates they'd pawned in the bazaar had brought in a little over eight hundred gold pieces, so Jake felt pretty confident and kept bidding. The early rush of potential buyers slowed as most of them decided to save their gold for later, potentially cheaper yearlings. But Jake was determined. He'd gotten a good luck at the lineup of horseflesh, and the first one to the block was the best by a long shot. It had good long, strong shanks and a graceful arch to its back and neck that would lead into fine lines as it grew. And it was a dappled gelding, just like his previous steed Gunner.

"Sold, for seven hundred and thirty gold pieces!" The auctioneer called at last. With a triumphant grin Jake sauntered down the aisle between the banks of chairs to pay and claim the yearling's bridle. As he turned to lead the horse away Fenn scampered to his side, and the two strolled off into the sunset.

Or rather, they started to.

"Hey!" Cried a catgirl sitting in the front row of the auction crowd. "That's the little kid who knocked me out and stole all our shinies!"

"And hey!" Called Vard Smellson himself, clambering to his feet. "You're the guy in the mask who menaced me with a knife!"

"What?" Jake demanded incredulously. "That couldn't have been me, that was the Great Green Gallantro!"

"Hmm..." Smellson replied. "You make a solid argument. That guy could juggle. But wait, how did you know his name? Deputy, seize them!"

"Time to go buddy!" Jake exclaimed. He grabbed the dappled yearling's bridle with one hand and Fenn's sleeve with the other, and then rushed through a hole that appeared in mid-air, whooshing the travelers off to their next great adventure.

[Philomel]

Horses, Shinies and Silly Things.
Basic Judgment

Rewards:

Jake Narmolanya receives:
1340 EXP
120 Gold

FennWenn receives:
1180 EXP
105 Gold

"It is not needful for our dreams to be very grand nor very big. It is only needful for our dreams to be very shiny."

C. JoyBell C.

[Philomel]

Rewards added.

Jake receives a yearling.