((I don't care if you closed it! This got me thinking. Fate Points or not...my contribution!))
Why Godhand's A Prick
by
Tomas Friskerken
Some of you may know Godhand, some of you may not. But the self-proclaimed "badass" is sort of an Althanas legend in the pages of this site's mythos. Not for his writing or his "outstanding" track record with the ladies, but because he's a prick. He's outspoken, obnoxious, way too witty for his own Colombian (or wherever the hell he's from) good, and he's been able to squat and shit on just about every veteran user here.
Now, my sources -- who will remain anonymous -- have told me of such examples through extensive interviews. Here is one such interview:
Tomas Friskerken: So, Taskmienster, was it?
Anonymous: That's right...wait, that isn't going to be in the article right?
TF: Of course not. Now, you say that you've bore witness to Godhand's...let's call it "Prickyness", before?
Anonymous: Oh yeah, tons of times. I remember once when he was trying propose this idea about having more volunteer content writers for the site or some shit, and after Sighter shot him down all hardcore, Godhand picked up his "Prick" spear and went at it.
TF: I see.
Sadly, Godhand was not available for comment on said situation because I didn't ask him for one. So I did some exstensive research on his background and discussed my finds in another interview:
TF: Now, BlackAndBlueEyes, is it true that Godhand was a part of a top secret experiment bred for fighting, but when he woke up from his stasis pod he had no memory of who he was and just decided to be a prick?
Anonymous: What? That doesn't even make sense, where are you getting your information?
TF: So you agree?
Anonymous: Well, yeah, he's a prick but I don't think --
There you have it, yet another confirmation. As you can tell, Godhand's a prick. After that interview though, none of the other members of the site would speak with me. There's only one solution I could've come to: conspiracy. Godhand must have somehow strong-armed the site into silence...man, what a prick.
Well, this is Tomas Friskerken for Channel Nine News, signing off.
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