YAY! FREE ART! THAT'S RIGHT!

FREE!

I'm slap happy (I know, nice to meet you too, dad), and think this is a fantastic idea! I know full well it will only end in tears and disappointment.

Anywho~

I will draw one free request for you! Yes you! Anything you want! As crazy as you want! As inappropriate or downright filthy as you want!

Butt... (with two tees, hur dur)

If I don't like the idea or am simply too lazy to do it, you could get a stick art, a scribble, or something "expressive" instead! If I do like it, you might get a sketch. If I REALLY REALLY (I'm talkin' REALLY) like it, I'll do color, background, avatars, t-shirts, flags, tattoos, murals, full sized statues... (Well, no. But I'll make it look as nice as I can...)

Neat huh?

What I do GUARANTEE, is that I will do SOMETHING for each and every request made. Just... don't get your hopes too high.

So, here are the rules:
  1. Only ONE request per person. (I'll be checking them alts... If I want to put the effort in...)
  2. The request must be for ONE completed piece. Meaning, you can't request I draw these two characters, then these, then that, this, that other thing, stabbing one guy, stabbing the other guy, in a zoo, with Dirks, something with demin, netflix & chill, done as a comic spanning over 16 pages. NO. BAD. NO!
  3. No requesting more requests. God, did you even pay attention in Alladdin?
  4. The more detailed you are, the more likely I'll "get it right". Keep in mind, if I don't like your shenanigans, you'll get a stick figure or some Jason Pollock vomit on a canvas.
  5. If i genuinely hurt your feelings by "overextending my creative freedom", I ask you take it with a grain of salt, laugh about it as you put my name on "the list", then set it as your avatar like how mom put your macaroni art on the fridge. She didn't like it, but you're an ugly crier. It's okay, the truth hurts. She hated mine too.
  6. If you have reference photos, include them. Sometimes words don't convey that thing in your head that you wish you could pull out like a Polaroid. That would be cool, huh? But you can't. Heck, you may even find a new face claim for your character. Or porn. Or whatever you're requesting... Weirdo...
  7. If I do put a lot of effort into the piece and you do like it, just say thanks. No munnies. Maybe show it to a friend or link a buddy to one of my art pages. Help a loser out.
  8. Lastly, have fun. And please don't kill me, I have a wife and several children adopted from the animal kingdom. One is named Hanjo. He's a dick.


Sound fair and fun? Thanks for reading! If you make a request, great! If no one bothers, I'll delete the shit out of this!

Whoo!

Bed time!