Boop. Boop.

Vince let out a deep sigh, well, as deep as he could muster with the mask over his face. His glasses fogged up, obscuring the woman on the other side of the check-out counter from his vision for a moment. Before him were all the essentials, Jiffy-Pop popcorn, several bottles of wine, condoms, and a digiorno pizza. All of the ingredients for the one magical ritual he could perform on earth, date night. The venue of his current adventure? The mystical and magical dungeon known as Walmart. To his left, and approximately six feet back was a goblin that stood about five foot three and didn’t understand the concept of their nose being part of their respiratory system. Behind them was a valiant knight in shining armor, decked out in gloves, three face-masks, a face shield AND goggles.

“Sir, your total is 32.99” Vince’s eyes shot back to the woman in front of him as he fumbled through his pockets to retrieve his wallet and insert his card into the chip reader. It croaked angrily at him, he withdrew it, paused, then reinserted it. Once again it croaked angrily and once again he let out a deep sigh.

“Sorry, need to get this thing replaced.” The woman in front of him rolled her eyes a bit, that was probably a phrase she heard on repeat all day every day. For a third and final time, he reinserted the card and it croaked the three ominous tones at him, this time accompanied with a message to swipe his card. He obliged, and soon was shuffling away with his newfound loot.

…

Vince found himself lounging on the same shitty couch he’d had since he’d moved out. Years of neglect and mistreatment had worn it down. The legs were wobbely, the springs at the buttom were a little too loose so you sank too far in when you sat down. Don’t even get him started on how it always ate the fucking remote, but none of that mattered right now, because at the moment he was cuddled up next to his favorite person in the world. Nay, make that two worlds actually.

Rayleigh Cain, adorned in grey sweatpants and a black tank top was watching enraptured as Mr. Incredible squeezed his way out of an undersized cubicle and marched his way to his bosses office. In one hand she gingerly cupped her third glass of wine or so, in the other she delicately held the last slice of pizza absentmindedly. He’d spent the last five or so minutes debating whether or not he should try to steal said slice, he’d even concocted five or so comments to make about said slice, but three of them involved pointing out how much she’d eaten and he had the sneaking suspicion that would end up with him sleeping on this couch.

“I still can’t believe you grew up watching movies like this.” Ray murmured, raising the slice of pizza up to take a bite, but pausing as the short man on screen fidgeted with some pencils. “No wonder you wanted to be a hero so badly.”

The words pulled on Vince’s heart ever so slightly, his gaze drifting from her, to the pizza, and then finally back to the movie he was only half watching. He couldn’t recall how many times he’d watched the Incredibles, but as he watched the scene unfold, how Mr. Incredible didn’t want to stand idly by as a man got mugged, something stirred within him.

“I still wish I could be…” he mused before kissing the top of her head.

“Wished?” his wife shot back, breaking her gaze from the luminescent screen in front of her to meet that of her husbands. “Vincent, you’re one of the greatest heroes I’ve ever known.”

“Was.” he replied shaking his head. “On Althanas I was the Emperor...back on earth? I’m…”

“The same man, but no magic.” Ray interjected having replaced the slice of pizza onto her plate and holding a now freed finger up to his lips to sush him. He had to fight the urge to snatch the pizza slice as the smell of grease and pepperoni lingered on her finger.

“And significantly less bulletproof.” He replied dejectedly. “Back on Althanas I could tangle with the worst of the worst, and even if things went sideways I’d just pop back up in my office a week later. Here on earth...the average joe could pull a fast one and blam, I’m dead.”

“Well…” Rayleigh paused, weighing her options. “You could always go see if the fire station down the block needs some volunteers. Significantly less bullets going your way there...” Vince paused for a moment, significantly pondering the idea. “You don’t have to fight bad guys to make the world a better place Vince...besides.” She smirked leaning deeper into him. “You could always be my sexy fireman.”

Vince felt a grin creep across his face as he leaned down to meet her lips with his own for a quick smooch before breaking away with a chuckle. “I suppose that could work.” Without skipping a beat his hand crept sneakily but slowly to the last slice of pizza and brought it to his mouth taking a bite.

“Hey!” she protested, eyes widening in shock.

“You’d had it in your hands for five minutes! I was pretty sure you were trying to reheat it with your body heat at that rate!”

“I was distracted by the movie!”

“Well, ya took too long. Now your pizza’s gone.” Vince immediately regretted that decision, as his wife began a pout that he was act one of “Vincent get’s kicked out of bed by his very mad wife” A popular song and dance soon to get it’s own broadway musical unless he changed the tune of this conversation. “Fine! What if we went somewhere fun for our date next thursday instead?” Her pout ceased its drooping, her lips halting their downward decline. This was a good sign but he needed to, as the ancient phrase went, turn that frown upside down in order to get himself out of the doghouse. “I hear they have some pretty good social distancing measures at the Arcade at the mall…” he crooned. “We could go bowling, have some not frozen piiiiizaaaa.” She smirked, and that’s all he needed.

“That Mr. Cain,” she replied “Would be pretty poggers.” Vince clenched his jaw to refrain from busting out laughing at the drop of such egregious internet slang.

“It certainly would be Po-” Vince opened his mouth, but before he too could Pog, the world flashed a bright teal and the two of them were falling backwards through the air. His eyes widened as Ray let out a yelp, and immediately years of instinct sprung to work. He flung the pizza away, freeing his hands to wrap around his wife, pulling her over him and placing his back towards the ground. He had no clue how far they were falling, but he’d hit the ground first and cushion the blow for her.

A soft thrum coursed through his body, something equal parts alien and yet impossibly intimate as a snap of realization coursed through him. On pure instinct the two vanished in a cloud of sparks and reappeared on the ground beneath them, Vincent carefully holding his wife bridal style. The two of them were silent for a moment, breathing heavily as they pondered the night sky above them.

“Well honey, I don’t think we’re in Texas anymore…” the Emperor managed to mutter after a long pause. There was a longer pause before Rayleigh piped up.

“Fuck, that movie was good too.”