~[Solo] Act 2: Chapter One Nosdyn~

[Nosdyn]

The bodies of the fallen demons were taken apart skillfully. No resource was mis used. As per Nosdyn's orders only the worthy were allowed to become undead. Those demon's they'd just killed were not worthy.

The bedsheets around Nosdyn and his wife Xelldra were covered with sweat and semen by that point. The smell of sex strong in the air. Nosdyn kissed his woman as they made love for hours. He needed her and wanted her. The same as when he met her that first night in the cave outside of Ettermire. When they were connected to N'Jal.

He takes his woman for many hours, releasing his tension into her his seed as he'd done so for many years.

He held her close at the end of that, wrapping his large arms tightly around her.

He felt her warm touch thanks to his seed, the process that N'Jal had taught them all.

His hands massaged her lower back very gently. He knew soon he would have to prepare for the meeting with the enemy. By that point, Ettermire had forged his current views in battle. His current philosophy and tactics.

Xelldra played with his long gray beard gently. "It's time isn't it?" She asked adequately.

He nodded calmly. "It's time, let's get dressed and hold the town hall meeting." He ordered and they both got dressed after the smell of sex strong in their bed chamber.

Nosdyn walked with his woman gently by her side. His amber coloured eyes narrowed. His people were already gathered at the meeting hall. Nosdyn greets his son, Tharak son of Nosdyn. The two embraced. "Thank you all for coming on such short notice." Nosdyn told his people. "As you know the demons of Xaliel have contacted us and requested a meeting...with me." He said calmly explaining the situation to his people. "They requested I go alone." He added.

Tharak looked at his father with a raised eyebrow. "Likely a trap father."

Their paranoia was warranted by that point.

Nosdyn nodded. "That's why I'm not going alone." He said calmly and explained the plan to them.

Tharak listened carefully. "You want us to follow behind you cloaked?" Tharak asked.

The grim expression on Nosdyn's face told it all. "That is correct my son." He paused a moment. "Ready a small group of our finest soldiers." He ordered calmly. "You will follow a few yards behind me to the chosen place." Nosdyn said. "I'll pretend like I'm interested in what they have to say. On the twenty minute mark you all strike and we wipe them out in their own chosen place of meeting." Nosdyn explained. He'd been getting a mean streak. "I'm only partially interested in their crap anyway."

[Nosdyn]

A few hours later...

Nosdyn approached the chosen site of the meeting. Wind came in from the west, Nosdyn looked off in that direction for a moment. He could see various ghosts of his past. The ghosts of Ettermire, and her cursed children. Nosdyn hated Ettermire and what she stood for, but he focused on the task at hand. Ettermire had trained him into a hardened leader. He walked upright his cloak dancing with the wind. He wore his traditional leather outfit but it was decorated with the symbols of demon house Krotar. The stylized "K" was visible on his leather vest. His large muscles were bulging with tension. He smelled fear and something else from the gathered group of demons.

They thought he was alone. Good... He clenched his large fists tightly. He had blue skin, and amber glowing eyes his eyes stared coldly forward. He saw a small group of about twenty demons. Including the lord that had been their contact in Xaliel. He kept a respectable pace away from the gathered demons. The thought passed through his mind once more. This generation of demons are soft... He looked around. He noticed holes in their security, holes his people would exploit. Ettermire had trained him well, N'Jal had trained him well. His amber toned eyes narrowed to thin slits as he looked at the other demon lord.

"You have summoned me?" He asked calmly.

Demon lord Kruthex looked at Nosdyn with a poker face. "I see you have come alone as we asked."

Nosdyn nodded grimly. He was counting off the second until the chosen twenty minutes was up. "Speak." Nosdyn commanded speaking with authority by that point.

"We want to offer you a deal..." Kruthex began.

Right then, it was almost bitter sweet. Nosdyn's eye twitched. He recalled the various betrayals of Ettermire directly done on him and his people. The eye twitch was subtle, but it was there only trained followers of Nosdyn would have noticed it...the memories of Llukai's betrayal amongst various other situations passed his mind. His hands began to nervously clench and unclench. He was counting mentally. "...Then you are wasting your time." Nosdyn suddenly said. He'd had enough. Every betrayal every back stab, every lover who came at his throat save for his wife, his precious wife. Those came swarming back in his mind, haunting the old demon.

Kruthex frowned. "My lord I don't understand?" He asked they were prepared to offer Nosdyn a great deal.

But Nosdyn had been through too much, been set up too many times, been back stabbed once too often. He wasn't stupid he was a step ahead of them. They were soft and weak, pathetic excuses for that generation of demons. Kruthex spoke. "My lord our offer is quite..."

"Enough!" He yelled. Then Nosdyn attacked demon lord Kruthex....

[Nosdyn]

Nosdyn ran up to demon lord Kruthex. His eyes narrowed as he stared at the other demon. Memories flashed through Nosdyn's mind. Every betrayal, every back stab, every loss and heart break he ever knew. The tragedies of Ettermire came crashing back in his mind. All at once, like a tsunami, no, a tidal wave and storm. There wasn't rage it was heart break and insanity. Tears swelled down his eyes, as it all came back to him.

Demon lord Kruthex stood no chance in hell.

When Nosdyn's vision cleared from the craze, he had beaten the demon lord to death, having snapped the bastard's neck. He looked at the other demons who were gathered. "Do you still want to make a deal? Or will you bastards leave us the fuck alone now?" Nosdyn growled when he said that. He was speaking in the demon's own tongue his father, Tharak Krotar, had taught him since his early youth.

Nosdyn would only accept complete surrender, destruction or his own death.

The demons walked up to Nosdyn. A female who represented them knelt down before Nosdyn. A moment later, the other demons knelt as well the surrender was complete.

"No more games. Are you truly surrendering to me?" Nosdyn asked.

She nodded gently fear in her eyes...and something else. "We are yours to command. I am yours."

Nosdyn had counted the twenty minutes in his head. He raised his fist and signaled for his people to step out of the shadows. They did so and approached Nosdyn.

Derroth walked up to Nosdyn. "My lord your orders?" The undead warrior asked.

Nosdyn looked at the woman before him. "Take them." Nosdyn ordered.

"Alive?" Derroth asked in return.

"Yes. They have ties to Xaliel they could prove useful to us." The female demon walked up to Nosdyn a moment later.

"My lord am I not adequate enough for you?" She asked.

Flashes of the women of Ettermire. "I have a mate. However, I'm sure we can together find a place for you." He narrowed his eyes once more looking at the woman. "Come with me." He told her. The female demon, would have a use.

[Nosdyn]

Once they were in his home a short while later, he sighed. A thought occurred to him. These demons are weak in this generation of their kind. I can't believe how far they've fallen. He considered that point carefully. The first time, he knew his history, the demons of the Tular Plains assembled a massive army against Althanas. The first time...Heroes of Althanas rose against them and they were ultimately defeated and banished to the tular plains. Demons like Nosdyn who ventured out of their ancestral home were a rarity.

He explained to his wife, Xelldra, the use of the female demon. They would have an adequate bed partner to amuse themselves with.

Xelldra knew what her lord liked and found enticing. She had the adequate physical attributes and was strong for their generation of demons. Xelldra dressed her in front of her lord in much more scandalous attire, appropriate for a bed partner.

Nosdyn watched entertained. "State your name." He ordered of her.

She blinked for a moment as Xelldra dressed her appropriately. "I'm called Ellastra my lord." She said calmly curious why he would ask her name of her.

"We have rules here." Nosdyn explained. "Xaliel operates differently from how me and my people do." He continued. "Here you belong to me, you belong to us. But you will find that affords you much more room for growth than Xaliel in her current state ever could." Nosdyn paused. He explained to her his people's rules and laws. They were agreeable.

The servant blinked once more. She realized what her place and station would be. She nodded in acceptance. "We are in agreement." Ellastra said calmly.

Nosdyn nodded as they spoke. "We will protect you as long as you obey our rules and laws." Gods, I hate that word laws but it's what they understand... He frowned for a moment and he saw her watching him. "Get on your knees." He commands. It was time to test his new toy...

[Nosdyn]

Nosdyn undid his leather pants and immediately, Lady Xelldra walked up to him and removed the rest of his clothing.

He nodded to his wife kissing her deeply his erection was thick and throbbing at that point for the Ellastra. He stroked himself off softly in front of her and she nodded.

She opened her mouth and began to suck on his large shaft.

He moaned softly with pleasure and puts a hand on the back of her head, pushing himself deep into her throat. He shivered with pleasure. He locked eyes with her, massaging the back of her head gently. The demon Ellastra was quite attractive and he let her suck on him with adequate skill level. "When I release into your throat you are to swallow all of it." He told her.

She nodded calmly. Making sure she fit his erection deeply into her throat.

The Lady Xelldra was already fingering herself for the two of them.

The show was pleasing to Nosdyn as he held Ellastra firmly against his body. He'd shoved his erection deeply into her throat. Her moaning sounds turned Nosdyn on immediately. Her mouth felt good wrapped around him. He massaged the back of her head and played with her hair gently.

She sucked him off expertly. She reached up and grabbed his large sack and rubbed it with hunger...

He shivered with pleasure as he stood in front of her.

She leaned closer to him and continued to suck hungrilly.

An hour later, he released into her throat with a loud growl. He watched her dutifully swallow him and that impressed Nosdyn a lot..

[Nosdyn]

Later that night...he held the two women close to him.

He kissed Lady Xelldra's forehead gently. He massaged their lower back gently. He held them on either side of his warm body kissing Lady Ellastra softly. He was content with the situation at hand.

He knew that in another tomorrow there would be more problems with Xaliel herself just like Ettermire. Just like every other city that tried to snuff him and his people out.

Because of N'Jal's betrayal.

He sighed for a moment holding the two women in his arms. He'd treated them both completely well and they'd fucked for many hours that day. He smiled with pleasure. Noticing Lady Ellastra cuddled closely with him. Lady Xelldra played with his beard and that felt good. He felt her fingers twirling with his thick beard...

He massaged their lower backs gently with his large hands.

"Rest well my women. We've all earned it." He said calmly as he held them close.

He grinned in the dark, their room lit by one lit candle.

He massaged them both of them, their three bodies coated with sweat and reproductive fluids...

~The End~

[Rehtul Orlouge]

Sorry this took so long. I'm going to keep this short, but if you have any questions, I'll be happy to answer them regarding my commentary.

Pros
1. It's rare that we see the home lives of the characters of Althanas, so I thought it was interesting that we would see Nosdyn's while he was working on nation building. It was an interesting look into the lives of the Tular Plainsfolk and into how Nosdyn handles his position of leadership.
2. I can tell you're ramping up to something. There's a plan here, and I look forward to seeing what that turns out to be.
3. A lot of work went into reviving the Tular Plains, and there's going to be a lot more to come I'm sure. Following in the steps of Zieg is a interesting choice and I wish you and Nosdyn the best of luck.

Cons
1. Tense agreement issues were especially prevalent in this story. You jumped from present to past tense seemingly on a whim. Your consistency in this area needs a great deal of work, and I would highly suggest going back through after you edit for content to make sure that these issues are addressed before submitting for judgment, as they can make the meaning of your posts get lost in the grammatical errors.
2. Nosdyn faced zero actual difficulty. What I mean to say is you wrote him as being so strong that nothing that went "wrong" during your thread felt like much of an obstacle. Nosdyn was able to effortlessly power his way through it, intimidate, or physically force people to agree to his way of thinking. This detracted from any real sense of stake in the thread. Essentially there was very little in the way of drama because it felt like nothing could really affect him.
3. You use the "son of" saying a lot during your threads. While not necessarily an error, the fact that you repeat names and lineages so much can be distracting and a bit repetitive. I'd try to limit using that particular phrasing to once a thread, maybe more if the character ends up introducing themselves to total strangers more than once during a post.

Overall this thread gets the score in our new rating system of 6/10 stars.

Nosdyn receives 2304 EXP and 500 GP

[Rehtul Orlouge]

EXP and GP added