Judgment: Team Two
Hey hey! So I will be doing a condensed version of the rubric for the tournament. I will still be adding commentary to the sections, so you may see random comments as I notate and read through things. If you have questions or concerns please feel free to reach out to me to discuss. I wish you all the best!
Plot
(Story, Setting, Pace) 21
Storm: You contributed the most to the setting overall in your posts, which were well done. Story was pretty straight forward, but well done.
Elite Optic: I’ve never read anything of yours and I have to say that the opening post of yours was pretty good. I enjoyed it and was drawn into the story, wondering more about the pair and how they will interact with the prompt. Over the course of the thread you added a fair amount of setting and contributed to a good flow. [Post 15] added a lot to your overall story
Leoric: You opened the story by incorporating your own story, which was well done. I think you did much better on setting overall, and the pacing was well done with your posts.
Emi: Your posts are nice, but missing just a little in pacing as they feel somewhat disjointed at times initially. This seems to correct itself a bit as the thread went on. Otherwise you established a little bit about your character, but missed a lot in setting.
Character
(Communication, Action, Persona) 23
Storm: I absolutely love your character, how you write him, and the narrative that accompanies him. It is fluid and seamless. That is despite you writing long paragraphs in comparison to others, who are writing short ones and dialogue. You just express Storm very well. [Post 20] - The subtle use of shaving with electricity was simple and brilliant (and I wish I could do that).
Elite: I really liked your communication, specifically Post 7 was great. I also enjoyed the personality of Elite and his interaction with Sorian. I would have liked to know a little more about him as a whole though, like why a giant skeleton has feelings? Hah. Your final posts added a lot to the character and story though.
Leoric: You have a pretty strong character and the cutscenes to your departure helped establish that character. How those cutscenes then were brought into the thread - foreshadowing or just as thoughts impacting your actions - would have been nice. [Post 13] - unsure of what the last paragraph was about?
Emi: I didn’t really get a lot of character for you personally. I’m not really too sure who Emi is. Though your communication was good and the overall feel of the character interactions with the others was well done.
Prose
(Mechanics, Clarity, Technique) 20
All: overall well done. There were a few clarity things here and there, such as the mention of the boat being powered by an engine and nobody commenting on it again. Also, small differences in timeflow. Aside, a mix of technique but well written otherwise with the expected mechanical hiccups here and there.
Wild Card
8]
- Interact with at least one faction, either as an ally or enemy - or create your own and that faction must interact with the others somehow - Used Corone as a faction to enter, and even added sub-factions aside from that. Good job.
- Overcome one “political” obstacle - Storm opened by doing so, and it worked
- Due to the hurried nature of everyone scrambling to get to the new discovery, your characters are not fully stocked/prepared in some way - Leoric opened with forgetting his coin purse and other mentions
Total: 72
Rewards:
Storm - 2330 exp | 245 gold
Leoric - 1210 exp | 245 gold
Emi - 950 exp | 245 gold
Elite - 1210 exp | 245 gold
