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  1. #11
    Ride The Lightning

    EXP: 166,794, Level: 17
    Level completed: 83%, EXP required for next Level: 3,206
    Level completed: 83%,
    EXP required for next Level: 3,206


    Storm Veritas's Avatar

    GP
    25,550

    Name
    Storm Veritas
    Age
    39
    Race
    Human
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone
    The horrors of the battlefield could not prepare him for what was charging at them from the swirling blackness behind the gate. As demons approached, it was common to see their form emerge before stepping through the portal, generally their details discernable through a dark cloud or mist. This time, the portal appeared altogether empty, with the exception of a lone rider rolling forward towards the end of days.

    Even the experienced and traveled wizard’s mind ran blank at the sight before him.

    Holy shit. Holy shit..

    Indeed, the rider was the lord of the demons himself, never seen but known in all whispers. “Diablo”, “Satan”, “Lucifer”, “Beelzebub”, “Mephisto”, and “Hades” were all names bandied about in different tales told over cold drinks by irrational drinkers, and every single one of them were wrong. What charged here was altogether different.

    The sheer enormity of the rider was enough to weaken the knees of the magician as he dismounted, slowly stepping from the horse and taking a few steps in the direction of the gate. The rider was visible from his mount up, and from his hips to his head seemed to be twenty feet as best Storm could surmise. Beneath him, a charging lion carried, his fur replaced with fire, a brightly glowing orange that contrasted sharply from the void of black. The mane of hellfire shrouded the Demon Lord’s legs, but did nothing to hide the impossibly thick and seemingly endlessly muscled torso. His black body wore no armor, but appeared entirely unharmed, with unmanageable piles of thick mass stacked perfectly as though chiseled from obsidian. His shoulders sloped sharply to his head, his neck obscured by enormous trapezius muscle. His face was obscured by an ornate, ghoulish helmet, a face of horror carved before a ring of fire. Behind the mask, the glow of orange suggested the terrible thing was actually one of flame.

    The Demon Lord clutched a chain of lava to serve as reins in his left hand, and hoisted the large, glowing sword that the Crown had mentioned in their initial foray. The weapon was a two-handed claymore in the hands of a man larger than Storm; to the Demon Lord it appeared no more than a dagger.

    Aside him, Storm noticed demons stopping to kneel before the portal. Wolves would stop to lower their heads, disengaging from combat. A few were slain by Machiavellian dwarves, but more of the dwarves simply stopped to gaze at the marvel of misery that rode towards them. Catapult fire was now bouncing off the perimeter of the gate; flecks of stone chipped and fell, but the portal remained seemingly untouched.

    “Fire! Fire already, gods!” Cazri was exasperated.

    Absent mindedly, Storm used a tiny pulse to pull the arrowhead from his thigh at last, a roaring wave of pain awakening him from the fear-induced stupor. A small flicker of blue-white light sizzled across his upper leg as he cauterized the wound without thought. It didn’t matter; he wasn’t even thinking now. His body had taken control of his train of thought. Grimacing, he set his feet wide in a deep squat holding both of his arms to the skies above.

    Nothing gets left on the table. Clear the deck. It all ends here.

    One of the most magnificent journeys of Althanian legend was set to end. Partnerships, friendships; love and loss laid bare. Championship glory, mythical wealth and fame set to blaze. Storm conjured every singular ounce of magical energy that his soul could generate, his entire body humming a dull tone and pulsing bright white as lightning flew from the skies to his body. The charging lion paid no heed, barreling ahead towards the gate with avarice.

    A sizzle-crack, and a thunderous boom. A pillar of pure white twisting and exploding upon the gate. Storm Veritas fell lifeless to the ground.

    There was silence.
    Last edited by Storm Veritas; 02-16-2022 at 10:58 AM.

  2. #12
    Ride The Lightning

    EXP: 166,794, Level: 17
    Level completed: 83%, EXP required for next Level: 3,206
    Level completed: 83%,
    EXP required for next Level: 3,206


    Storm Veritas's Avatar

    GP
    25,550

    Name
    Storm Veritas
    Age
    39
    Race
    Human
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone
    Soft, warm light woke him as he floated, drifting in air on what felt ethereal. Fortunately for the traveler, he knew himself not to be in the afterlife, but rather being carried across the Tular Plains. The rancid odor of sulfur overwhelmed him, snapping him from a pleasant rest. He struggled to open his eyes, the sun now high above them, and noticed he was being carried in netting that was very comfortable, almost a hammock. His mouth was horribly dry, tongue feeling coated with stone dust. His entire body ached terribly, a countless barrage of sharp pains screaming for attention from all of his extremities. In front of him, a large, lithe, athletic figure was marching, ebony skin shining in the sun as he silently strode ahead.

    Elf?

    Indeed, the dark elves were moving him. Was he assumed a co-conspirator with the dwarves? Being carried off to execution? The possibilities flooded his brain as he attempted to gather information. To his left, debris and wreckage; plumes of soot-heavy smoke twisting harmlessly to the skies. To his right, another elf, this one very familiar.

    “Cazri!” His voice was weak, his attempt to call out muffled as though through a thick mask. Her eyes caught whomever or whatever was carrying the back end of the hammock, and returned to the wizard with a very telling shut up don’t say a word type of gaze. Fatigue hung over her like a veil; she, too looked dusty and battered, but could walk.

    “Rest, human. You’re lucky to be alive. You’ll have answers to provide at camp.” The carrying elf marched ahead, speaking in a baritone voice that lacked empathy.

    Saddened, confused, and still very much aching, Storm felt the sting of tears at the corners of his eyes. Perhaps the complete ringer of fear and regret he had just endured simply broke his spirit. Perhaps the embrace of death, followed by survival, and now near-certain death, was the end of the road.

    You’re alone. We saved the gods-damned world, and now I’m being carried off for slaughter.

    Silently the electromancer suffered, his body screaming and spirit broken. He prayed to the gods his parents had once taught him of, long before the gifted mage had been blessed with talents that rendered the gods typically unnecessary. At some point in the silent march his body yielded once more, plunging him into a deep slumber that offered him very needed rest.
    Last edited by Storm Veritas; 02-16-2022 at 09:17 PM.

  3. #13
    Ride The Lightning

    EXP: 166,794, Level: 17
    Level completed: 83%, EXP required for next Level: 3,206
    Level completed: 83%,
    EXP required for next Level: 3,206


    Storm Veritas's Avatar

    GP
    25,550

    Name
    Storm Veritas
    Age
    39
    Race
    Human
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone
    “Good, you’re awake. Here, sip slowly and listen, don’t talk.”

    Cazri, the beautiful dark elf, sat at the flank of his bed. She laid a small tray of chicken broth at his side table, steam pouring ever so faintly as she offered him the first spoonful. She whispered with her deep, sultry voice, her gorgeous appearance marred by a litany of bandages and myriad stitches, scrapes, and salves. It was good to see her clean again; the sexy glow of her dark skin surprisingly healthy with all conditions and considerations in play. Storm didn’t remember her being so ravaged from the carry here, but then most of the details felt fuzzy.

    “Forget what you think happened. Don’t say anything to anyone until our story is etched in stone together if you want to survive.” She smiled as she leaned over him, gently brushing his cheek as a lover would. They were in a burlap-wrapped tent, and from the metal trays and instruments about him, it was a mobile hospital of some sort.

    “We wanted to take the sword. You were paid a handsome bounty by the Radasanthian Council to retrieve the sword from the Demon Gate, and I was your liaison. Together, we marched with Emi, Leoric, Elite Optic, and Sorian towards the gate, but were met with countless demon bands, that separated us all.”

    Her whispering was broken by a kiss on his forehead, as a tall Ettermirian soldier came to check on Storm’s bandages. One check on a bandage about his head, the affirmation that he had received broth. A shake of his left leg that responded with a horrible yelp, the splinted leg obviously broken in an injury from which Storm had literally no recollection. A temperature check and assessment of his eyes. With all the pleasantries of a crocodile, the elf turned and left the bed, pushing through a hanging strap of leather that separated each mobile bed area.

    Quite the welcome wagon. Gods.

    Cazri was unfazed, opting to continue to whisper to Storm.

    “Sorian and Elite were some of the lucky ones, best I can tell. I was told they cut through the entire eastern front of the demons, with Elite using a mystical helmet to overwhelm and dominate the demons. It was destroyed in battle, but both survived. They boarded the large boat that you all arrived in, leaving behind the smaller vessel for you when you clear your name.”

    Sons of bitches!

    “We were caught in a terrible crossfire; dwarves from the north, and demons returning from their march to Ettermire and Etherea on the other side of the gate. A terrible battle, with virtually no survivors. We were both buried alive in the rubble of the great demon gate, felled by the mighty war machines of the dwarven soldiers.

    “Had they not so bravely sacrificed themselves, we’d surely have been torn apart by those savage demons. Sadly, virtually all the dwarves, and every single one of their war machines were destroyed in the battle. The elves rode north hard and fast to pinch in the remaining demons, driving whatever dwarves remained back north to the mountains.”

    What?

    Puzzled, Storm glared at the elven guide, pleading with her to tell the truth of what happened out there. His head throbbed terribly, a familiar pain. How long had he been enduring the concussion? What had actually happened on the battlefield? How much of this was delusion and dream, and how much was reality?

    “Cazri, what the hell are you talking about?” His dilated pupils suggested a terrible injury, one that doctors would later explain to him could very well create severe hallucinations as the brain tried to heal. Still, hallucination would better explain the incredible luck, the wild visions, and the untold power he had never before experienced.

    Her eyes softened, looking at him with what appeared to be either sadness or pity. Brushing his hair behind the bandaging, she spoke again in low tones.

    “I’ve already told you what happened. You were brave, and we were lucky. But this is the tale I will tell anyone that will ever ask me. With no other survivors following the fall of the Demon Gate, there simply is no other truth beyond the babbling, selfish hysterics of a brain damaged old wizard. One who would suggest I could betray the elves, which is of course objectively absurd. A wounded old man who would claim he single handedly saved the world. Best of luck with your tale, my friend.”

    With another kiss on the forehead, Cazri rose and left the tent. Pulling at a seam of leather by his head that marked the tent wall, Storm watched her mount a beautiful little auburn horse and ride away. As he released the fabric, a terrible ache resonated from his right thigh, where matted blood was pushing through the cotton bandages that he hadn’t noticed. A second bandage covered his otherwise bare flesh, a long ruddy color staining the clean white cloth.

    The wizard Storm Veritas had not claimed the sword. He was isolated now, with a spectacular story that no one could corroborate. No money, no friends, and no path.

    He had saved the world, and things had never looked worse.
    Last edited by Storm Veritas; 02-16-2022 at 09:20 PM.

  4. #14
    Althanian

    EXP: 1,484, Level: 1
    Level completed: 75%, EXP required for next Level: 516
    Level completed: 75%,
    EXP required for next Level: 516


    Preston's Avatar

    GP
    1,496

    Name
    Preston Fletcher
    Age
    27
    Race
    Human
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone

    View Profile
    Judgment: Storm Veritas



    Congratulations on getting to the Final’s of the 2021-2022 Adventurers Crown! I am excited to read your submission and compare it with your peers in this solo based round. If you have any questions, concerns, or would like to reach out to me please feel free to do so!

    Plot - 21
    The overall plot of the thread was solid. It made sense and flowed well. I think the highlight was the pacing you set, which was very smooth. I chose this as the highlight of the overall writing for this section because of the instant ability to follow your combat based posts. It is rare that back and forth action flows so well. The overall setting was relatively well done as well.

    Character - 23
    You have a knack for understanding Storm’s character and writing it fluidly. There are certain characterizations that come through with your narrative that work very well. Additionally, the dialogue that he has is fitting - though at times comes off as a little cliche, but kinda fits the character.

    Prose - 23
    There were a few errors here and there with sentence structure, tense agreement, and general misspelling. The posts were very clear and easy to read. The only negative I have for this is that the writing felt a little flat and matter-of-fact. There were certainly portions of the writing that were given life, but at times it felt toneless.

    Wild Card - 10


    Score: 77

    Rewards
    5365 exp | 2700 gold

  5. #15
    Head Admin


    Taskmienster's Avatar

    GP
    200

    Name
    Valic Anebrilion
    Age
    15
    Race
    Tiefling
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone

    View Profile
    Exp and GP added.

    As discussed, the following item has been awarded. You can rename it, but if you would like to change the properties, please let me know for review:

    Demonic Mount Trinket: Storm was able to keep a memento ((you can decide the object)) from his interaction with the demonic mount. With it, he can summon the creature to him once a day or once a battle. It will remain with him for up to 10 hours, unless it is destroyed during combat. If slain during its summoning, the creature cannot be summoned for a full day. The demonic mount is X feet tall by X feet long, weighing X pounds and can run at a speed of 30-40 mph.

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