Identity Crisis

[Philomel]

(closed to Ruby)

"Two weeks ago now, Delath began to speak, and since then he has not stopped.

Else, it feels as such. Never have I heard such a deep, thunderous tone that was still kind and unthreatening. Many times have I faced foes with such powerful tones, able of moving mountains, however Delath is not like this. That is to say, his physical prowess does not lack the ability to have a mighty blow at a rocky hill, but rather he does not have the desire, nor the true need. It would only be in times of battle and self-preservation that he would submit to baser instincts and do away with his gentle nature.

Now he lounges by me, his great tail wrapped around his mighty frame, a massive chest heaving up and down. His ears flicker as flies buzz around his face - long, tapered things that almost match mine. Forelegs stretched before him his head is still high above mine, despite the lying position, and he follows what I write with curious eyes. Every so often I have glanced back at him, trying to gauge if yet he can read writing, not just speak, but he has let nothing on. With the fact he suddenly decided to start speaking, yet knew many words before it, however, I would not put it past him to have taught himself reading also. In private.

Here we sit, nevertheless, side by side at the edge of a large lake. I write these words on parchment with a determination that I should write some of my life down at least - my thoughts and wonderings that my daughter Celandine may find useful one day. In these I plan to scribe my rise to power, the true testimony of the Gilded Lily, and why I did what I did. I will continue to write as the sun streams through the narrow slits of trees between us and bounces off the surface of the water. As I come to terms with what I am, and what my life is leading to.

For I am a faun, and I am a matriarch. I am also a dragon rider, no matter that my dragon does not fly. I am a mother, I am a being who's soul is likely bound to an earth-spirit (my beloved Veridian who has gone wandering off already). I have suffered loss, I have known gain, and I have friends and enemies. This is the start of my confession, the truth about me and what I am, what I am likely to become.

This is the life of Philomel van der Aart, devoted servant of the goddess Drys.

This is my admission to a severe identity crisis."