Some quick background on this topic. I recently came back from a trip from Cambodia where, as well as seeing some pretty amazing temples, was exposed to some pretty amazing weather. My partner and I were walking along this river in the middle of the capital. It was hot, a bit overcast and humid. All of a sudden these kids gave that playful scream sound and ran passed us. A few drops of rain fell around us, then when I looked back there was a sheet of rain approaching. It was moving at about the pace of a jog, and amazingly thick. We ran to the road and crossed over, getting caught in the tail end of the rain. An hour and half later after eating at the closest undercover place we decided to just walk through the rain back to our hotel. We were drenched, completely so, after less than a minute walking through it. There were bits of trees, green leaves, sticks and such everywhere. It was a very visceral experience! This challenge was inspired by that event. Throw in the need for us to continually refer and update the reader of our threads on the setting, this tests how well you can add that into the start of a four paragraph post.

I’ve put down a few notes for each of you. I liked every entry, and some of you really sought out a nook for your own styles.
Garron:
With the words so small, you end up having to cut out every superfluous statement you can. That said, with the amount of editing that was needed perhaps some of the repeated words (or similar words) might have occurred because you were cutting and chopping the word count. In the first three sentences you mention clouds, could you have cut that down to one, moving from clouds to lightning, to thunder without repeating where they were coming from?

I really liked that you picked up on the affects of the rain, tearing through the trees and leaving hungered shrapnel across the forest floor. Especially the line about how the bits of trees landed on piles of previously dropped pieces. It created a nice image of an endless cycle!

Ebivoulya:
Very nice word choice, imagery, wonderful alliteration and… well I guess the word would be cadence. That said, a lot of the details you focus on were not relevant to the topic, at least directly. I loved the character portrayed from each of the two paragraphs!

Philomel:
Good, solid writing. You could perhaps add some additional personification or emotions in your writing to add some richness, but that might just be my personal preference. I liked how much action you go through as well, not skipping over the details of the growing streams of water or the lightning to keep the word count.

Duffy:
Nice approach! I loved the use of different senses, the cold, the slap of Duffy’s bare feet and the way you used children to explore the other side of the storm. I wasn’t expecting someone to do after the end of the storm, and in an urban setting. Well done!

Duffy is the winner this time, but you all did a great job.

Duffy receives 200gp and 50xp!
Garron receives 75gp
Philomel receives 75gp
Ebivoulya receives 75gp

My entry:
A soft afternoon glow filled the apple orchard with luminous twilight green. Behind them dark storm clouds crawled across the sky towards us, slowly changing the light from the rich emerald to a technicolor mix of brown and green. The wind, previously calm, sprang to life causing the leaves to sing a tremendous chorus of crashing waves. The trees whipped from side to side, dozens of green leaves that were ripped from branches lifted into the air like swarms of disturbed bees in the summertime. The first few innocent drops of rain struck the ground with thick, wet thumps, and a moment later the colours of greens and browns had turned into the milky white, obscuring rain. Gone was the serenity of the afternoon, replaced with the primal roar of the torrential downpour. More than anything I remembered the smell, that rich earthy scent that hung in the air. Life.

150 words!