Thank you! It's actually really hard to find good quotes for the drow-dwarf though :/

Fenn: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Philomel: To beat up the idiot telling jokes about him.
[Source: Teen Titans.]

[Everyone is trapped inside Nevin's shop, which has been locked for the night]
Avis: Everybody calm down! We have enough food to last for weeks-
Felicity: [Burps after consuming multiple barrels of food] -That's hours.
[Source: VeggieTales in the House.]

Eteri: Hey, where are you going?
Nevin: To take a long, hard look at my life.
Eteri: Well, while you're there, would you pick up a quart of milk?
[Source: Hey Arnold.]

Fenn: Nevin! Nevin! Look! I got us friendship bracelets!
[pause]
Nevin: (sigh) Alright, Fennick. (holding out wrist) Put it here.
[Fenn puts them on, revealing that they're handcuffs]
[Source: RWBY Chibi.]

Yvonne: Be careful when you cut the onions, they can make you cry.
Felicity: NOT IF YOU MAKE THEM CRY FIRST!
Felicity: [Stabs the onion]
[Source: TAWOG.]

"I guess I kind of hate most things. But I never really seem to hate you." - Lye, to Scarlet.
[Source: Parks and Recreation.]

"You know what they say: a little childhood trauma builds character." - Practically every character on this site.
[Source: ???]

Lye: Why is the world against me?
Scarlet: Is that rhetorical or would you like me to answer?
[Source: Tumblr.]