Time and Tide (Solo)

[Tobias Stalt]

Of course I can't sleep.

Charlene is swathed in blankets and curled in a ball on the seat opposite me, but the driver is outside with the horses. If I left her alone and opened the door, the cold might interrupt the woman's sleep anyway. Other than the occasional sound of nature, there is nothing to make me believe I'm needed. So now, I'm trapped, watching a woman I hate sleep soundly. I don't think I've ever watched a woman sleep. Not even a woman who I've loved. There's something intimate about it that just goes against the grain of who I am.

With Charlene, I feel more like a sentry. The Church is paying me, so keeping one of their agents alive is the least I can do. There's nothing emotional about it.

I just need to make sure she's breathing. That's why I cross the distance between us, and why I lean close. It's why I listen to her intake of air, and watch her chest rise and fall. There's a space on the floor next to her, so I sit there and close my eyes. I can hear her, and know she's alive. I think that knowledge helps me to rest easier. "Tobias...?" her voice is weary, restless. She's sleeptalking. "No, Tobias," she shivers- but how did I know that?

I'm not even looking at...

Her fingers clutch my arm tight. She's pulling, and suddenly, Charlene is hugging me close to her. "No, please, I told you..." she sounds so afraid. But why is she dreaming about me? What is she talking about? I feel her arms wreathe me in an embrace unlike any I've felt. She holds me so close I could let go of everything and she'd hold me up. In those arms, I would never fall.

Who are you, Charlene?

"...I won't let you..." her words are broken by a loud snore, something so obnoxious it shatters the illusion of majesty that she'd woven over me in moments before. I stifle a laugh, but I want to know. What was she saying? What words were stolen away in that dream world just beyond my reach?

"I told you not to call me Sister."

What?

I can feel the warmth as it drains from my face. I don't care now. I need to know. The fabric of her dress in harsh in my grasp, but I pry it upward. Her undergarments are clean, laboriously so. Bleached until they were pure, like a virgin's dress in the church. The same that Erica wore when the clergy first stole her dignity away. Nothing will stop me, because unless I know, I won't ever have peace again.

And there, beneath the robes, an ancient wound. Healed twice over, perhaps more, but the scar was clear as day. I could see where the blade's sinister magic sapped her essence and left her numb. Her hair dyed, her eyes changed, but this woman was-

"You really should be more gentle with a woman, Tobias Stalt." She is looking at me. That fiery gaze burns, but not with the animosity I expected. She is full of the fire she had before they robbed her of it. The passion in her voice is conviction. She leans forward, into me, and takes my face in her hand. When she blinks, her eyes flicker that same, warm, ocean blue I remember. It was Sway magic.

I pull her upright and stand. We're eye to eye now, her knees in the cushion as I stare in disbelief. She doesn't so much as blink. "Don't fuck with me," I utter defensively. There's horror in my voice, fear that they've found a way into my head again. The Sway always finds a way. The Church always lies. "Don't you dare-"

"Tobias," she says my name, not Stalt, not some harsh, emotionless dismissal, but my name. It's stern, but direct. With that single word, she shatters every last one of my defenses. It couldn't be anyone else.

Erica.