KOBOLDS ... in a pub. Open tavern thread.

[Jake Narmolanya]

He wasn't taking the piss. He was taking a piss.

The pale yellowish stream spattered down in the clay urinal and dwindled around the drain. It was semi-plugged with hair and sawdust and whatever-the-fuck else you find in an Alerian bar's bathroom. Jake Narmolanya shook himself dry and re-buttoned his pants, turning toward the dwarf who did business there. The air smelled of shit and bodily fluids, and an aging brownish bloodstain decorated the drab wall over the sinks where a mirror might ordinarily hang.

"What can you tell me about the High Graf's death?" He asked the brown-bearded entrepreneur as he bent to wash his hands.

"What'cha talkin' about then?" The dwarf said through his thick mustache and thicker accent. "If yeh' no want to buy some coke, get the fuck out, half-breed."

Jake's slightly pointed ears reddened as he felt a flush rise in his face. He focused on the cooling water cleansing his hands. He had come to The Greyhound for a reason. A low-level government worker had informed him that the dwarf who sold cocaine in this particular bathroom had some information on the Graf's murder. Since Jake had been secretly tasked with discovering that murderer, and since no other leads had panned out, he found himself in the noisy pub's privy dealing with a racist wannabe thug.

"Alright, I'll take a hit. How much?" He fished in his pocket and doled out a gold crown of a particular weight, and then presented his palm. The dwarf screwed open a large vial and tapped a small quantity of fine white powder into his hand.

Jake had never touched cocaine before. Fortunately, he had seen others use it. He brought his hand up to his face, covered one nostril, and snorted.

His tired eyes shot open as if springloaded. Erratic energy flooded his body as pleasure cascaded through his mind. His heart raced, and his thoughts followed. He was alone in the bathroom of a noisy pub with an ugly bastard who had just called him a half-breed.

The dwarf grinned. "Good, ain't it-"

Jake was shorter than most men, and most elves, so when fighting he usually struck upwards with elbows and headbutts. The dwarf was too short for such things to be effective, which but his head at the ideal height for a different attack. Jake lifted his leg and rammed his knee into the Alerian's nose.

"You young fucker," the dwarf snarled as he staggered backwards, toward the urinals. "My beautiful hooter!" Blood spurted from beneath his hands as he cupped his damaged nose. One hand, dripping crimson, dropped and darted to the dagger on his belt.

Jake took a powerful step and kicked the dwarf as hard as he could in the belly. The stout fellow fell over sideways, one hand on his gut and the other over his face, vomiting in the urinal and then collapsing beside it. Jake knelt and grabbed him by the hair, dragging him to his feet and smashing him back into the piss-soaked clay.

"Alright," the dwarf gasped, struggling weakly, "I'll tell yeh."

Jake was drawing back his fist. "Tell me what?" He said, hand hovering in confusion.

"About the High Graf," the dwarf mumbled. "Just don't hit me again."

Right. The Graf. The whole bloody reason he'd come to this corner of this city. Jake nodded and released his captive, straightening up and dusting his hands.

"Good. Tell me everything you know."

"I don't know nothin'," the dwarf said, "only that one of the patrons in this pub tonight is carrying an invitation to a meeting where you might find what yeh're lookin' for."

"Who is it?" he demanded, still riding a wave of pleasure mixed with agitation.

"I dunno'," the dwarf said, struggling to his feet. "Yeh'll have to use yeh'r charms and ask 'em sweetly." He took the small canister of cocaine out of his pocket and began to unscrew it.

Jake dropped his shoulder and leaned forward and hit the shorter being with a hard left hook to the jaw. The dwarf's eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed to the floor. Jake caught the canister before it could follow him, and pocketed the treasure. He stepped over the dwarf's twitching legs and made his way back to the common room.

Someone here has what I'm looking for, he reminded himself as his wide eyes roved madly. It's just a matter of determining who.