Thank you both for participating in this battle.

Just a quick note before the final scores are announced.

As per the announcement made on the 31st March, we are temporarily limiting "feedback heavy" judgments for members to ensure that no threads get caught in limbo and that all rewards are issued in a timely fashion. Obviously, competitive judgments must be done for Citadel battles, but, and I stress purely temporarily, feedback will now be limited. I apologise if anything comes out as particularly vague or unhelpful as a result, but I am MORE than happy to expand on the below scores over PM, in discord or whatever. Hit me up if you need.

Now, onto the final scores!



Judgment


Nosdyn vs Gum do Mugu

Plot:

Story- 4 / 5
Setting- 4 / 6
Pacing- 5 / 5

Character:

Communication- 5/7
Action-5/6
Persona- 5/7

Prose:

Mechanics - 4 / 7
Clarity- 5 / 7
Technique- 4 / 7

Wildcard: 8 / 8

Final Score: 49 / 65

Gum do Mugu wins!


Comments:

Whilst Gum kept a relatively consistent theme throughout, I felt there were a number of inconsistencies at the start for Nosdyn. For example, it seemed he had no idea where he was or what he had been doing, but in the same post (post one) seemed to have a number of deeply warming memories. This seemed odd to me, but otherwise the rest of the thread recovered to an average level.

Nosdyn, one thing that hurt you (in a purely competitive sense) was that I felt you gave very basic lip service to the setting, whereas Gum took the basics and expanded on them far more. To coin a decorating analogy, it was like you built a stud wall with wood, but Gum then plastered, painted and decorated after you left. I felt like I was getting most of my vision of the cave from Gum.

This is by NO means a Nosdyn-bash, though - what I REALLY like is how much energy you pour into him. By far and away, he is your best character (controversial maybe?) and the way you write him makes me feel like you ARE him, at times. This is a good trait.

However, this is a competitive judgment, and unfortunately on this occasion I have to judge Nosdyn against Gum and not on their stand alone merits (of which there are many on both sides). In Gum, Nos, you are going up against someone who I feel brings a different flavour to the RP dish with his characters. It's no different here; he really made me invest in the Xangu shaman in this battle, and I think the difference in my scoring is a reflection of how heavily each of you made me believe in your characters and how real they felt to me. Don't get me wrong - I LOVE Nosdyn, but I think you can really put in an extra few percent to make me invest.

My final comments relate to the dreaded prose part of the judgment.

Nosdyn, I really am sorry to say this but Gum absolutely murdered you here, and although I cringed when I typed the score out above (believe me, I don't like it anymore than you won't like reading it), there was a chasm between you. The difference between you is a combination of basic spelling and grammatical errors (innumerable on your part, Nos, especially easily avoidable ones) and technique. Gum made the odd error here and there, but I feel that Gum gives me something more with his writing; exploring different ways of presenting his work to the reader that keeps things fresh and generally keeping on top of his basic errors, presumably with spellcheck.

It's not that you are terrible with your technique, but you didn't provide enough power in your writing to really bring out the full potential of Nosdyn and tell the story better through your technique, on the day.

I feel like I need to conclude on a positive note for the both of you. For a moment, ignore the "formality" of the judgment above, and take pride in the fact you both have two very fun, deeply interesting characters that you both love to write. That's what we all want to see here on Althanas, and I love watching you both write, whether its against each other or individually. Whilst the judgment above is, and only should be taken as, a snapshot assessment of one thread in a whole character lifespan, take the negatives and the positives from it but don't dwell, and come back to kick ass another time.

Rewards

Gum do Mugu receives 1,925 EXP and 104 GP!

Nosdyn receives 350 EXP and 89 GP!