[Irn League] The Zen Of War

[Briarheart]

A thunderous rumble echoed through the garden as the ground split at Philomel's feet, the fissure swallowing her whole as the cloud of plague passed through the space she previously occupied and splashed harmlessly against the stained wood and paper door of the tea house or whatever it was.

“Gods damn it,” I muttered as I took a step closer to the crack in the earth, wary of any sudden attacks that might spring up from underneath my feet.

Apparently enough time had passed since our last encounter that she'd learned a plethora of new tricks.

The acid that was pooling in my right hand crystallized, forming sharp shards of amber that could cut through flesh and hide without much of a problem. I drew closer to the hole created by the faun, my muscles coiled and ready to defend myself at a moment's notice, the vines in the palm of my hand separating to reveal a small cluster of pods that could produce a strong enough burst of pressurized air to shatter the crystallized acid and propel them through the air at high speeds.

That's when I heard the unmistakable whop! of teleportation magic behind me.

Quite a lot happened over the span of the next half-second, so bear with me here.

I immediately spun around, and was greeted by the hunched form of Philomel perched on one of the rocks in the middle of the sand garden, that stupid rabbit of hers standing on its hind legs near her hooves. Her spidery fingers were wrapped tightly around the grip and trigger of a nasty-looking crossbow, her gray eyes staring down the iron sights of the weapon as she lined up a shot with my chest.

The twang of the string and the whirring of the arrow cut through the air before I could decide on which swear word was best to voice my surprise and alarm. Before I could act, the small crimson crystal that I wore on a chain around my neck roared to life, the soft glow visible underneath the white fabric of my shirt. A red shield surrounded my form just as the bolt was halfway between us.

It was almost enough to stop it.

Philomel's shot connected with the shield, immediately splintering on impact. But a wave of kinetic energy spread through the translucent dome of magical energy, instantly cracking and shattering it. As the shield disintegrated, it released waves of magic that rippled out through the air in waves.

I had nowhere to go, no time to prepare.

I felt like I had been hit by a runaway carriage and tossed through the air like a child's toy. Luckily for me, one of the pillars that stood at the edge of the tea house or whatever's deck was kind enough to catch me. The wood cracked as I flew into it, and I fell to the ground, my face buried in grass clippings and dew.

Everything hurt.

No, that's not hyperbole. Everything fucking hurt. My body convulsed and rattled as the remnants off whatever the fuck that whore spiked her crossbow bolt with tore through me. My back hurt, my ribs hurt, my joints hurt, my jaw hurt. If it could be broken, I'm pretty sure she did.

The waves of spare energy quickly dissipated, and were replaced by the tingly sensation that took over whenever my briarheart rolled up its sleeves and kicked into overdrive to begin regenerating anything that needed it.

Thank the gods for that, at least.

As I laid there, my insides knitting themselves back together, I decided it was time to call in backup. “Need you to handle things for a minute,” I hoarsely whispered into my forearms. The clusters of parasites that made their home in the cracks between my vines immediately sprung into action, crawling out and digging into the wet earth below.

Within seconds, two pairs of briar-knit arms erupted from the ground, and soon began dragging out the rest of their bodies.

Twin experimental briarbane, with vastly accelerated lifespans, rose to their full height and roared before springing into action, bursting forth with incredible speed at Philomel. One flanked her left side, the other took the right. With sharpened fangs of bone bared and a craving for goat meat flashing in their amber eyes, they leaped at her.