Not for you, not for you

His words echoed in her mind. I am i͈̳̺͈̻̗̘m͇̭̳̙ͅm̠̻̮̦o̬̝̰̲̬r͕t̟̱a̫̲̞͍̩͕l̩̻. I am Ś̫̮̰͖̙̙c͍̠͢a̠̻̻͞ͅͅr̥͈̠ḷ̦̠e̴̦̘̭t̸̯̯. I am - who?

"Not for me." The words lilted softly from my lips as I pulled my hand away from the pool of blood. I stared at it. It was his. I wasn't sure I'd even bleed red anymore. I wasn't human, I wasn't Ar'Tuel. I was some sort of abomination. I shifted closer to Lye, a slick of wet red hair fell over my shoulder and slapped the front of my dress. I leaned over his form. Scelera eyes gazing at him. Every suture, every scar on his body. It had told a story, it had been a time he had shown weakness, a time he had learned and a time he had grown.

Time.

T̹̹̦̼̖̲͍̀i͜m̲̭̼e͏̫...
̵͓̻̜̗

What was.... what was that? I lost my train of thought, my mouth opened and lips moved, yet I wasn't willing it. It was as though a part of me, a part that was so desperately reaching to claw its way back to the surface was using my fevered weakness to peek through the dark curtain that Scarlet had placed over her heart and the thick bile that drowned her very being. S͉̩̘̼h͔̼̖̟e̳͖̝̞͕ ̛̯̟̟͉w̛̟̠ḁ̹̙̤s̛̱͔̹͓͙̗ ̻̗̦̭g̝̖̦̼o̟͎̱͟n̸̝̙̙̲̹̘e̼̬̭̗̰.̮͟ She was dead. Still, the words came. "Your property. Was that really all it was? After everything?"

I struggled to place memories of us, I could recall times many times we were together but none of them were pleasant. It felt lonely. "How Lonely...you must be..." I whispered as I went to clutch my heart. I misjudged, using the hand I had used to prop myself up and had subsequently fallen into his lap. He made little effort to help me. I rolled onto my back and slowly closed my eyes. The fire was smokey and hot. I felt the heat against my skin but it barely warmed me. I felt an unrelenting and bitter cold from deep within me.

And I realized that frozen tundra within me was my reality. It was me. It was what I had felt, what I had known. Lye wasn't the one constant in my life that bitter empty loneliness was.