Our hero and helpless peasants ran to the top of the hill, where a helpless village was mercilessly being destroyed by sentient, walking talking MP3 Players! Vinyl records screamed as their homes were burnt with the power of radiowaves and surprier technology!

What technology? Well, those literal machine guns were ine example. The mind works in very weird ways...

"Wha... What are those?" Felicity pointed to the machine guns the MP3 Players were holding.

"Oh, those are machine guns." A vinyl explained in a matter of factly tone, "They're like Alerar's guns. But better."

Another vinyl raced to them in panic. "Guys, it's the most horrible thing!"

"Drought?" One vinyl asked.

"Famine?" Asked another.

"Overpriced candy bars?" The first asked again.

"No!" The newcomer shouted, "Those guns... Don't shoot bullets!"

"WUT?" A vinyl shouted, "What do they shoot?"

The second scratched its head, "Pode plushies?"

"No!" The messenger waved his hands. He started bawling as he fell to his knees. In an over the top manner, he screamed.

"THEY SHOOT POMMELS!!!"

Everyone (except our confused hero) gasped dramatically.

"The... Pommel?" The first vinyl started to tear up.

"Not pommels!" The other wailed in fear.

Over in the village, the MP3 Players shouted, "PREPARE TO BE ENDED RIGHTLY, OLD TIMERS!"

Hyperrealistic blood randomly appeared as they shot pommels from the machine guns.

Felicity staggered back in shock, "H-how can we fight such evil?"