“That's not what I meant…” Nevin doubted the girl heard him as she left the room.
Nevin onto the tiles where Ayaka had been sitting just a moment ago, and stared blankly at his hands. Sort out his feelings? Think with his head, not his dick? He groaned and dropped his head back, his hair falling into the tub as he leaned against it. Fucking thick flow. How the hell did someone who didn't really remember what family was like ‘sort out his feelings’? It's not like he had healthy ones to compare them to!
Eteri was - she was warm, she was bright. She had lit up his life from the moment she charged in demanding fish. The alchemist clamped down on his emotions, and thought. Eteri -
Eteri hadn't originally been attracted to him, nor he to her. She'd been childish, demanding his fish, then called his soul disgusting. He had been exasperated, getting ready to classify her like he did Fenn, an acquaintance. But that had changed, why? What had made her start being more close to him? She hadn't actually wanted to touch him at first, had kept a bit of her distance -
Until she'd touched his soul. That had been the first time she touched him. And he wasn't foolish or naive enough to think that she fell in love with something she outright claimed was disgusting. But…. Maybe? Maybe being close to it had shown her something she liked? His fingers splayed against his chest as he thought.
No, Ayaka wasn't quite right. Eteri wasn't the first to show him affection - that had been Stare. Eteri was the first to stay though, the first to actually want to stay. That - that was the difference. And Ayaka didn't know, couldn't know that he hadn't been thinking with his dick. Nevin had been taking care of those urges with the girls of the Golden Lilly. No - he'd wanted Eteri because she made him happy in a way no one else ever had. His fingers dug into his chest.
But why had she started caring for him? He knew his feelings, but - but why did Eteri want to stay with him? Was it just because he'd saved her from that psycho, Stefan? Or - or was it because her Pode soul piece demanded him? He took a deep breath, then sighed and stood up. He was just going to run in circles here, his thoughts a jumble. As he turned though, he caught the bottles that Ayaka had used. With a frown he picked them up.
“Wait. Truth? Aphro- she could not have known. No.” He crushed the bottles in his hand, ignoring the sting as the glass bit into him. His blood stained the paper, making it illegible as he wadded it up. Ayaka need never know what she had accidentally dosed him with. He cleaned up, and then went to sleep - in the front room.
