A study has found that most head lice have mutated and are now resistant to over-the-counter treatments.Please feel free to contribute to this new encyclopedia of awful, terrible jokes...
The problem's left scientists scratching their heads.
A study has found that most head lice have mutated and are now resistant to over-the-counter treatments.Please feel free to contribute to this new encyclopedia of awful, terrible jokes...
The problem's left scientists scratching their heads.
Last edited by Shinsou Vaan Osiris; 04-19-2018 at 06:36 PM.
Last time I ate in a restaurant in France, I found a fly in my soup. Showing off my French, I told the waiter there was "un mouche dans ma soupe." He corrected me, telling me that it was "une mouche."
You can say what you like about the French, but they must have fucking good eyesight.....
Emirates Airlines are offering first-class passengers a suite with bedrooms and a shower.
You can enjoy the same luxuries from Ryanair if you cancel your flight and stay home.
A nine year old girl has disappeared after using moisturiser that makes you look ten years younger.
A young red indian boy goes to see his father by the river.
"Father", the boy asks, "I'd like to ask you about our naming culture. Why is my sister called Flowering Meadow?"
The father raised an eyebrow. "Ah. That is because she was conceived in the most beautiful meadow in the country."
The little boy nods. "Father, sorry to ask again, but why is my brother called Rocky Mountain?"
The father raises his hand, gesturing to the horizon. "Ah. That is because your brother was conceived on the peak of the greatest mountain in the country."
The boy falls silent. The father looks at him, and puts his arm around him
"Why do you ask, Torn Johnny?"
A young bachelor is flying and to his luck is seated next to a beautiful brunette, who immediately catches his eye with a dazzling smile.
Twenty minutes into the flight, she opens a book with an amazing cover - "The Male Penis".
Exasperated, he can't help but ask about it. "Call me juvenile, but anything interesting in your book there? Looks wild!"
Coyly, the lovely girl responds. "Actually, according to this, amongst light skinned males, native american men tend to have the thickest manhoods, whereas polish men are on average blessed with the best length."
"Well, you know what they say about lies and statistics and all that." His cheeks blush as he tries to break the ice further. "It's a great story either way. Say, I didn't catch your name?"
"Debbie. Debbie Alexander, thanks. And your name?"
"Oh, me? Tonto Kowalski. Damned nice to meet you."
What does a clock do when it's hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
How do you feel when there is no coffee?
Depresso.
What did the midget say to the pint of beer?
I could drink you under the table.
So I’m cutting that branch off the cherry tree.
Singing this will be my victory.
Then I, I see them coming after me.
And they’re following me across the sea.
And now they’re stinging my friends and my family.
And I, I don’t know why this is happening.
~ Thrice, Black Honey.
Are you sure you aren’t a hot dog vendor? Cause you can sure make my wiener stand!
Are those space pants you’re wearing? Cause that ass is outta this world!
Who is sleep deprived and can speak French? Mwah!
Why do scuba divers roll backward into the water?
Because if they rolled forwards they'd just go into the boat.
Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A: Anybody can roast beef.
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