Brief breakdown:

Story:

It is exciting and invigorating, with great highs and lows and moments of tension. You begin of well, sweetly and reflect on the relationship between the two (the brother and sister style) that was set out originally in the previous story. From there you develop their relationship further it seems, with some powerful moments of fighting, that can be a challenge to write with in terms of content. What also worked well was you two writing as a pair, uniquely contemplating the others' style. Setting itself is a key issue, and could have been developed in some areas, with a reflection of how it effects the characters in terms of atmosphere. You have a good starting point with setting, and do not forget it as the story goes on, however, it could have been included in more of the action sequences. Pacing is strong throughout, with some rises and falls, though consider larger post lengths to add more meat to your writing. Overall, I was enticed by what happened, from the golem to the entire story of the workers and the twist that he had released it. Your choice of names also was interesting, such as Eotype and made it more intriguing.

Character:

Felicity - Entirely, Felicity is an attractive personality, with a fiery character as bright as her hair colour. You manage to balance well her humanity as well as her neanderthal side, the true little ragechild. You do not forget these sides to her character as you continue on, using all three areas of communication, action and persona to show this. Communication is powerful, but in terms of development could possibly be given attention in terms of issuing more of a voice of Felicity. Already you can see her power through her tone, and but one thing to see would be if she has words unique to her from her background, but there is already a good sense of her personality behind her words.
Nevin - Nevin is the big brother of this pair, that is clear, and has a gentle side to his fighting prowess. From how he kindly talks to Felicity to how he holds tension you have a good way of writing him that seems to have been practised and thought out well. What is good is to see that you clearly consider how you write Nevin and you have developed a certain tone for him. Persona is gone well, with self reflection from Nevin that was one of the things that struck me in general about how you write him.

Writing:

From simple to complex you both write well here, in terms of strong mechanics to effective technique. Small things such as, "He was… fat." in 27 to more developed imagery in the latter few posts. Word choice was excellent and I would encourage here for you to look at Ebivoula who did a good job of pointing out all of the great sentences and phrases that you used. In general I noticed a lot of the same use of words for the beginnings of sentences, and this could be somewhere where you could both develop, such as swapping around clauses and try using adverbs at the beginning etc. Great sections were the use of 'exclamation' - single word sentences that worked particularly well, such as "silence" in the last post. Other smaller sentences and larger sentences working together helped in terms of pacing and building the general story.